#nick scamander

hey y’all

as you might or might not know, i’m rewriting the harry potter series for the gays -- and i’ve been writing shorter chapters, but i need to know:

Cassidy wanted to run out and just go to her mother. She had her mother so close yet she felt so far, she remembered sometimes falling asleep between Devon and Lily, she never felt more safe as a child than when she did so. Her eyes were focused on the floor, she was trying so hard to go back to her normal self but she just couldn't find herself anymore. She had lost it after the incident with the woman, her almost crystal clear eyes haunted her. She had nightmares about it still, yet the young girl never said anything to anyone. Never said anything about the way she was cruio'd or about the scar she had on her stomach, or the curse that Roxanne had to pull her out of. Not even to her dorm mate Emily who would often move her to wake her when she looked like she was having a bad dream. Cassidy would just sit there and talk to her about anything but, the woman's words echoed in her mind about Lily.

Quidditch was something her mother avoided talking about. Cassidy now understood why. Roxanne explained it to her after the incident when she came to check up on her and Cassidy had asked about what the woman had told her. Cole and her both knew she used to play, there was an award with her name. The youngest and best seeker of her time. Quidditch ran through the Potter blood. James Potter, Lily Evans, Harry James Potter, Ginny Minerva Weasley, James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter and Lily Luna Potter. All the way from her great grand parents to her mother.

Yet neither Cole nor she played Quidditch, she tried one year, didn't make the team though, she was too competitive, too head strong and stubborn. Not a "good" sport. She had tried out for the Choir, but her voice was too low to belong with the girl and the boys didn't feel comfortable with her so she had left. She wasn't smart enough to be in the Slug Club, nor was she agile enough to be in Mysti's Dueling Club. She felt like she belonged nowhere in the whole school, so she found comfort in the outdoors. Where she didn't have to meet anyone's standards, but that was taken from her. She now feared the outdoors, she never had before, As a kid she wasn't one who feared just anything. She had never been afraid of the dark. She wasn't ever afraid of heights. Cassidy had even jumped off the roof once, earning a lecture from Cole who was worried she might've broken a bone. Now she feared the place she had once loved so much.

Taking a deep breathe, Cassidy looked around, Nick would have to wait. The sunlight was calling her, she had been in the dark far too long. She took off in a sprint, leaving behind her Hufflfepuff robes and scarf, she pushed open the doors. She knew she'd get lectured about missing classes but at this point she didn't care. Her feet carried her, she sprinted out, there it was. The heavy feeling was lifted once she started running through the forest. The smell of the grass, the feel of the wind through her locks, the sense of freedom it was all home to her. 

Climbing trees, she stared out into the open, the sunlight hitting her skin, it made a bright smile flash on her face. She jumped off and ran deeper in, the young girl only needed to run around to feel at home. She knew there wouldn't be any creatures until night, she fell back against an open area, her eyes came to a close, next thing she knew, she drifted off into sleep. 

Her eyes slowly flickered open, suddenly she realized she was in the dark again. Cassidy sat up quickly and stood, her feet seemed stuck to the ground. Fear was taking over again, she couldn't breathe. Panic was taking over her whole being, she heard a twig snap and suddenly found herself sprinting forward. Her heartbeat rang in her ears. She glanced back, a feeling of someone chasing her made her run faster, she ignored the fact that her lungs were begging her to stop and breathe. The young girl hadn't realized she had made it to the castle when she bumped into someone. 

A scream escaped her, her whole body was shaking, she kept hearing someone call her name, strong arms wrapped around her but she tried to push the person away. "Cass!" Cassidy finally calmed down when she recognized the voice, she realized it was Nick who was looking down at her, tears filled her eyes, she threw herself at him without warning. 

Nick's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he wrapped his arms around her small frame. Humming softly, he rocked her back and forth. Cassidy gripped onto his shirt tightly, she tried to quiet her sobs down. The young girl knew she'd never be the same again and she wasn't sure if that angered or depressed her. The one place that she felt safe was now a place that haunted her nightmares. Her hold on him tightened, she wanted to feel safe again. She wanted her dad, she wanted her brother, her cousin. She wanted to be herself again and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't be herself anymore. Fear was too strong and hope was fading. 

"It's not f-fair, i-it's not!" Nick pulled back and cupped her face, he pressed his forehead against hers, his thumbs gently rubbed her cheeks, wiping away the tears. "I'm here okay? You're safe." She glanced up at him and bit down on her lower lip, Cassidy shook her head. "She's w-watching. I can feel her w-watching m-me Nick. I-I'm so scared..." He brought her closer to him, his arms wrapped around her and he ran his fingers through her hair. "No one's going to hurt you." 

She wished she could believe him, she really did. "Let's get you back to your dorm." Cassidy didn't want to go to her dorm, she didn't want to sleep. Instead she gripped onto him tighter. Nick stood still, he held her close and rested his cheek over her head. "Calm down Cassidy, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you okay? No one's going to lay a finger on you, I promise." 

"You d-don't understand. She hurt m-my mum. She told m-me. This woman-- her words." She pulled back, closing her eyes, "Her words are engraved into my brain.. '..I watched as your mother got crucio’d, not once, not twice but 8 times.' My mother Nick, my mother has an anger that I've not seen matched. Yet, this woman..." Cassidy couldn't breathe again, she was gasping for air, Nick cupped her face once more. "Breathe. Breathe. Look at me, it's okay." 

"What if she hurts them? What if she hurts my mum again? What if she gets to Cole or my dad? What if she hurts Noah? Or you? Or Meghan? Or Jasmine? Or even Mysti?" She watched as he tensed up at the last name she mentioned. "What if she even hurts Jonah or Kendall? Anyone close to me? I'm s-so scared, I wouldn't a-anyone to go through that... The pain-- it's t-too much. Cole got hurt... I went to look for him because Jazzy took me. W-What if she hurts him again and I can't protect him Nick?! I can't-- I'm not that strong! I'm not--" She started crying again at the thought of it all, it was overwhelming. 

Nick had a sad look in his eyes, she wanted to protect everyone and anyone. He could see the worry in her eyes and he understood that it was more for the well being of her family and friends rather than herself. Especially her brother. Nick knew how much she loved him, and how she would protect him against all odds and everything if she could. Yet he knew she knew she wasn't that strong, there was a hint of anger behind her voice when she said the last part. 

"You're only human. You can't protect everyone and I understand that must frustrate you. You can't be strong all the time y'know... it's okay for you to rely on someone from time to time. It's okay to let someone protect you. No one's going to be angry at you for being human Cassidy. I know you're worried. I know you're worried about your brother and your family but... it's eating you inside out. I miss it. I miss that bright and vibrant smile you used to have. I miss the way you'd laugh so hard sometimes you'd snort and you'd end up getting all shy. I miss seeing you so happy... and I can almost bet... your father, your brother and mother miss it too." Nick stroked her cheek with his thumb, a soft smile on his face. 

"I know, I see what goes on through your head. It seems the only one who doesn't see the beauty within you is you." Cassidy looked down, she sniffled and then closed her eyes. "You're only one person Cass, you can't save the world. No matter how much you want to." She quickly looked up, "I can try!" He chuckled, "You can, but then what about you? Who's going to save you?" She shook her head, "I don't need s-saving. I don't need a-anyone to s-save me." She put her hand up to cover her mouth, she looked away, the tears were coming again. 

Nick wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his cheek against her head once more. "That's why we're here. That's why I'm here. Fall back on us, we'll catch you. I know sometimes you don't see it, but... a lot of us are like stars, you can't always see us, but we're always there." He kissed her head. "I can bet your mother stays up, wondering what happened to her little girl, your father, trying to figure out what he can do to help. And I bet your brother sees you in the halls on the way to class, feeling some sort of anger or upset that there's nothing he can do to help you. Let us help, let us in. It doesn't make you weak, it really doesn't. We're not going to think any less of you. You've held yourself up too long, fall back on us Cass..." 

Cassidy closed her eyes, she took a deep breathe, she leaned back against his chest, Nick held her up, "I gotcha, I'm here..." Her head rested against his chest, she let her tears fall freely. "Just let it out... I'm not going to go anywhere." He kept his arms around her, she put her hands against his arms and gripped tightly. She felt light headed, there was so much crying, she just wanted to pass out. To fall forward and let herself drift off into sleep. 

He pulled back and slipped an arm under her legs, lifting her up, she didn't even have the energy to argue. She leaned against him, he had her in his arms bridal style, he started walking into the castle, making his way to the Hufflepuff common room, she gripped onto his shirt, "Don't..." He stopped, looking down at her, she glanced to the other end, "Ravenclaw." He pressed his lips together and then glanced around, if Mysti saw he'd explain later, he knew he wasn't suppose to do this but he couldn't say no. He carried her towards the stairs, Cassidy put her hand on his chest, "I don't want you in trouble... I can go from here." He set her down, she glanced up at him and gave him a tight hug before she pulled away. "Thanks Nick..." She gave him a weak smile, Cassidy made her way up the stairs, she could hear his footsteps fading. 

The young girl answered the riddle before she walked inside, she didn't care if anyone saw her. People knew her brother was in Ravenclaw and so was her best friend. Otherwise she wouldn't be seen around. She glanced to the side to the boys dormitories, a part of her felt like going to see her brother, but she didn't know if he was awake or not. She wasn't going to wake him if he was. Tomorrow would be another day, she let out a sigh and looked down, "I'm sorry Cole..." She looked away and continued towards the girls'. She looked up once she came to a certain one and opened the door quietly. She glanced to the side to find the girl passed out as always, the heavy sleeper. Cassidy turned to look at the other end, Meghan had put her book down. 

"Hey... you okay?" She questioned her, Meghan knew something was wrong in Cassidy. She had dropped hints to her, after all she was her best friend. She trusted in her in a way she could never trust Mysti or Jasmine. Cassidy walked to her and took a seat on her bed, Meghan closed her book and let it fall on the ground, she then leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her and pulled her back. She rested against her many pillows that helped her keep sitting. Cassidy practically snuggled up against her and turned to her side. 

"You haven't come to see me like this in a while... what's wrong?" She looked down at her hand and then took it in her own, messing with her fingers, tracing over her veins, "I'm sorry Meghan." The young Ravenclaw blinked, "For what?" She stayed quiet a moment before she let out a sigh, "For being a bitch... is it okay if I spend the night here?" Meghan chuckled. "You know the answer to that." She scooted over and Cassidy took her place next to her. Meghan turned to look at her and reached out, pushing a stand of hair behind her ear. "Get some sleep tonight okay?" She looked at her best friend and nodded. "Just... don't let me over sleep okay?" Meghan nodded. "I won't. Promise, you look like a bloody mess, get some rest. Tomorrow will be a different and better day."