#niceknowingya

In some fucked up way I love and hate you with equal measure. I hate how much control you have over me and how much your opinion matters to me. I hate how you know my weaknesses and you always found a way to use them against me. I hate how I am trying so fucking hard to move on from you and I can't seem to stop talking about you to my friends who are probably so sick of hearing your name. I'm sick of saying it. I'm so sick of seeing you and just knowing that you're okay without me. You're perfectly fine without me talking to you because you just don't give a fuck about me. I never realised how much effort I put into you and me. Yes you kissed me first, but you also told me you forgot everything that happened between us. Do you realise how fucking unimportant that made me feel? How shit I felt hearing that? YOU KISSED ME, you can't have just forgotten me. That's not fair. You didn't forget. You just shut out the memories because you either didn't want it to happen or because you are too scared to admit that maybe you enjoyed it more than you let on. We aren't friends anymore. But this time it's my doing. I need to do this. I need to move on from you. It's so fucking hard though.