#nhaama

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Anyway I think it means so much if we frame Yugiri as both desperate to save those around her as quickly as possible, because to her lingering time means more chances they'll die, and suicidal since she lives serving others but not herself and doesn't speak of the future she fights for as one with a place for her in it- as I pointed out in my 7000 word essay on her a few months ago

What does it say about her though to have accepted the Warrior of Light tagging along and no one else though, like aside from the obvious that the player is made involved in the MSQ and it involved both main villains so Of Course you had to go, what does it say that she wanted the most powerful person to at least witness her death if she failed, and give her strength if she succeeded; was she scared beyond belief deep down inside, did she think if she died then at least it would be in the company of heroes like those she admired and threw her home away for to start this path

Then of course, there was the motivation to go into certain death. First is love, the ultimate reason for every major choice she's ever made, love to fix another people's suffering, love to distort herself into the tool they need, love to care for an ideal higher than herself, love that let her take up violence and kill to defend, to preserve when she can't let go, love to care for things others won't, love to not dwell on herself etc.

What about the hope of being a hero for someone, which has run as an undercurrent the entire time, which saw her once rejected by the very people she wished to save as they tore apart her reason for living, the hidden longing to be more than where she is, that longing for adventure that began when she couldn't be satisfied with staying put in Sui no Sato, the part that didn't care to listen too closely to the adults, the part that could listen to Shun's stories of battle and heroics and the brave who die for something glorious in the face of oblivion and want to join him in it

What if this fight is not just about love and emotion and use in death but the urge for a chance to say I Am A Hero Just Like You, Watch Me- when she has spent years surrounded by lives bigger than hers, those who are made for the storybooks while she is their hand in the night

And then it happens and she watches Vaste die for her, not like a hero for a higher cause or with an army behind, not screaming and taunting, but quietly for her, and because what Yugiri wanted right then was worth more than keeping one of her lives- if the price meant Yugiri became another corpse otherwise; how could she not be moved by it, or ignore the way it makes her heart twist from hidden love that spread to someone else when she wasn't looking, to a person who stopped being another ideal to lionize but a feeling desired a long time ago

It twists inside knowing she is a cause worth dying for to someone else, and she should take herself as seriously and value herself as much; it's the start of her wake up call, she is worthy of love rather than only giving it- that was the first time they died together and became the start of someone else

They die together, and with it goes that bit of jealousy of the outsider looking at a hero wanting some of what she has while finding solace in the strength of what those heroics represent, and the hesitation and and worry have no place with how they were before that moment; losing to Zenos stings but they have died together now, and that makes the world into one she hasn't before seen

So I think a lot of their love is in dying together, over and over and over, accepting that they will naturally reshape as they live life and make choices. They have died for every choice they've made and will keep doing so for every choice after , "You will change and I will change but I choose you as one constant I shall keep"

By this logic Zenos didn't just beat her in combat, he killed her and her love both; he killed her after mocking her weakness, after getting her to shout that her hands are not her own but belong to Hien and Doma (this is what is in the Japanese script, rather than her simply saying "This is the beginning! For Lord Kaien! For Doma!" as in English script, Zenos asks Yugiri in Japanese how she will cut him with such weak hands after her surprise attack, to which she replies "Just wait! Doma's hands are practiced against Lord Kaien's enemy!" which I am paraphrasing on in terms of the intricacies for the sake of brevity, but the difference is clear- English makes her sound like a mindless fanatic whereas Japanese makes it clear she views her very body as a tool for the cause, the channel of that cause's wrath. It's a subtle change but adds character, and many times the English script is completely lacking in this regard to me- I will always encourage people to play in Japanese at least once especially if you are learning or know the language, the game story sucks .5% less- and you get to hear Rina Satō as Yugiri 💖 Also, to Me, her reply in Japanese would still sound fine as a response to what Zenos asks in English "Is this the sum of your hate?" like it's not that it would've sounded awkward to leave it alone! In fact the actual English line is fucking awkward and stiff and the delivery was also stiff. It's a dumbass change, it sounds like they just wanted to keep neutering her personality in English. )

So I think it's cool that as far as I'm concerned she was living a separate life until that moment, and "dying" there was her waking up, both in terms of the Domain villagers coming back to help and fight for themselves and Vaste giving up her life. She went in there prepared for death and she got it, but the kind that let her think of how she will live; and moving forward she accepts she will keep repeating it

I don't know this quest is a pivotal character moment for her To Me even if in reality it's quite simplistic compared to every time I describe it, it's still worth more than people writing it off as Yugiri's Just Fucking Stupid! like gain some literacy please God, stop being so goddamn simple minded in viewing text

And with all this in mind it gives context for how Yugiri will change later in my order of events; she recognizes that she and Vaste have died for each other before, and now in challenging her beliefs she is being asked to die again, she gives Vaste the consent to ask her to die again, and that is her choice to make in the constant chain of rebirth until her body should actually perish

I'm still thinking about what she says, that her devotion is so strong she tells her enemy she is it's instrument, she gets SO attached to who and what she places faith in it's unreal, she is prepared for a glorious desperate death as her final act of love tinged with a need to prove herself to the heroes for whom she is has been the shadow for, and She Gets It but not because her heart stops

EDIT 07/14/2023: I HAVE OBTAINED GENEROUS TRANSLATIONS OF YUGIRI'S FRENCH DIALOGUE FOR THIS QUEST, AS WELL AS TRANSLATIONS FROM FRENCH OF HER SPEAKING PRIVATELY TO THE WOL

The French should be considered closest to the Japanese as the French script is noted for being a very faithful, respectful translation and localization that does not strive to omit, rewrite, or strip down to the extent as in English if at all