Hello. Today I’d like to talk to you about Shaina.

She’s the one wearing white. Just kidding: She’s the one who’s smiling. Just kidding: She’s the one who’s smiling at you. Just kidding: She’s the one on the left. 

She wears a size 8.5 shoe, which is a size smaller than me, and she has three siblings (conveniently pictured above) which is two fewer than me. But who’s counting? She likes french toast and turkey bacon and hot apple cider and margaritas on the rocks. Here is an outline of her hand:

I know you’ll want to be at her debut because it’s THIS WEEKEND and she has TWO NEW PLAYS in the menu. While we’re at it, here are your world premieres this week:

Amy and Shaina have some facts about Connecticut (Amy)

let me lo(o)se (Shaina)

Nosferatu fingers, or the devil something something (Dylan)

What i want to yell to the nice liberals on the 38 Geary every morning (Siyu)

Walnut/Time/Tooth: a spell (Amy)

love life (Willie)

I have a Sam Shepard (Shaina)

story of my lif (Dylan)