#newmutants99

WHAT AM I LOOKING AT. WHY ARE THEY ON THEIR TIPPYTOES LIKE BALLERINAS. WHY DO THEIR TORSOS LOOK LIKE THE EXACT SAME PICTURE THAT’S COLORED SLIGHTLY DIFFERENTLY. WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THEY HAD LAT IMPLANTS. HOW IS THIS IN A PROFESSIONALLY MADE COMIC BOOK. I literally can’t wait to read more of this. I have absolutely no idea what’s going to be on the next page. It could be anything!! It could be Alf with his face sewn to the carpet and I wouldn’t even flinch! Life rarely presents us with such truly impossible mysteries. (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)

Annnnnd another one’s gone, another one’s gone, another one rides the bus as Sunspot leaves the team to attend to family business affairs after the murder of his father. It’s depressing how these last few issues of the New Mutants serve as nothing more than bookkeeping so Rob Liefeld can flush all the characters he doesn’t like right down the toilet before starting X-Force. Sunspot’s been on this team since the very beginning and he’s barely done anything. If you wanted an interesting character with plenty of narrative potential that also added to the diversity of the team, you already had it. Oh wait, Rob didn’t want that. He wanted Shatterstar. Then again what do I know about character based storytelling, it’s not like I created Deadpool or anything. And hey when the heck did Warpath get here??? Has he been here the whole time?? (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)

And just like that, Sunspot is gone, as quickly as Rahne or Rictor or Warlock before him. The New Mutants are being dissected in these final issues, somewhat questionably. This is all leading to X-Force, one of these most successful comic books of all time, but that success doesn’t last long, and once Rob Liefled abandons the project, we’re left with far less than what we started with in the fledgling pages of the New Mutants. The sacrifice of these characters ends up being in vein. It was a good book! For most of the run. A product of its time. And I guess Uncanny X-Men doesn’t fare much better through the changes that are coming. It’s really just a bitter end to Claremont’s time. A loss of his characters and the direction he had planned. Tough to look back on now, especially because of how shitty things get in the following years. (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)

Here we go again. New Morlock characters continue to crawl out of the cracks in the sewers despite their entire population undergoing what these comics have been calling “genocide” ever since Mutant Massacre. This is why Mutant Massacre never seem like much of a massacre. You can tell me, repeatedly, that they were all killed, but when there’s a new one popping up in nearly every other comic then at some point it starts to feel like an Alex Jones conspiracy. Who was actually killed during Mutant Massacre?? Not any of the Morlock characters that I know. Not Callisto, Caliban, Masque, Sunder (well Sunder is dead now but he died after Mutant Massacre) or any of these hideous freaks. Were they all crisis actors?? It doesn’t actually seem like anyone was killed! Also, why did the writers of this comic get rid of Wolfsbane just to put a different wolf lady on the team? You had a perfectly good wolf lady to begin with! These are just some of my typical Gaknar observations. (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)

“<Glibly glances over fake reading spectacles> . . . Whatever.” This is just perfect. It’s amazing. I’m not sure if this is welling in me a compulsion to start a petition to cancel Cable forever or if he just won me over. (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)

Well it sure is convenient these three Fox Studios rejects show up out of nowhere. I’m just warning ya. I am not going to be kind to Shatterstar. (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)

You know if I was just getting home from a creepy recruiting dinner with Cable, and I found this conveniently placed Hellfire Club mask at the burned home of my village, I would not be suspecting Emma Frost. (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)

PS I kinda liked that new Matrix movie. Also, the new Twin Peaks. (New Mutants #99 – Mar 1991)