she isn’t aware of the anxiety that had SETTLED in the pit of her stomach, until it had suddenly f a d e d away, a gentle, warm RUSH of relief coming in quickly to replace it.
they’d never gotten around to this before. the thought comes to her in the second it takes for maria to pull back, breath still HOT on angelica’s lips. it PUZZLESher –– this overwhelming feeling that TONIGHT would have been their final opportunity for anything like this to happen between the two of them, when angelica knows with certainty that she’ll see maria in weeks to come.
her lips B U R N for more contact, heart racing with a desperation she hadn’t known to be there before. they’d known each other mere months –– and yet become quick friends. sure, angelica had a BIT of a crush on the girl. ( who wouldn’t ––– on maria, on this divinelight that could brighten the darkest of rooms, and warm the coldest of hearts ? ) and perhaps, just maybe, she’d fantasized about something MORE, once or twice, but angelica never let her feelings get the best of her, not when it meant she might lose control.
yet, in one quick, sudden motion, on a movie night just like any other, cuddled up with each other, a kiss too loaded NOT to change everything occurs. and angelica hasn’t the slightest notion of what to do.
her fingertips fly to her own lips, stopping herself from GIVING IN.
❝ i’m sorry, i’ve got to go. i’ll –– i’ll see you at tom’s party, yeah? ❞
there’s been an undeniable pull to angelica since they met — maria’s certain that angelica feels it too ; how could she not? in a possibly too idealistic train of thought, maria’s half-convinced herself that angelica is some kind of soulmate to her. what else could possibly explain how strongly she feels? how every time angelica smiles, maria’s entire world lights up? the logical side of her brain tells her that she’s being a hopeless romantic again, that talk of soulmates and love at first sight should be preposterous, but she’s an artist first and foremost, and if paintings have no room for logic and science then why should her own mind?
it seems only common sense for them to kiss, like it’s something clear as day. she’s wanted this for what feels like centuries though it’s been only months, and yet maria can feel years’ worth of emotions spilling into the all too brief kiss. eyes drift shut as she leans into angelica once again, feeling her breath ghosting across her face, only to find that angelica has leaned away.
maria’s eyes fly open, then. wide-eyed, mouth hanging slightly open, blush painting her cheeks — the confusion and hurt are clear on maria’s face as she gazes at angelica. there’s a clear excuse coming out of the other girl’s mouth, the i’ve got to go sounding like a blatant lie to maria’s ears, and the joy that had overcome her as their lips touched is quickly replaced with shame and regret.
❝ ang — don’t, don’t go. please. ❞ she can’t bring herself to care about how pleading she sounds, can only reach out to grab one of angelica’s hands, grip loose. she wants to apologize for her actions, for the way she’d smiled into the kiss and for how she was about two seconds away from telling angelica she loves her, but it seems too fragile a subject to broach. maria’s not brave enough to bring it up, not by a longshot. not even brave enough to look angelica in the eyes, gaze locked on some spot two inches right of her head. perhaps she can pretend it never happened, and they can go back to their friendship? ❝ —— we still need to finish the rest of the movie, yes? ❞
