about two years ago i started having some intense migraines and lost a lot of weight. i had to go to the ER a few times to alleviate the symptoms that were causing me so much distress. i even went once for heart spasms but the doctors didn't think anything of it. i could literally see my heart beating and my chest was hurting so bad, but rhey labeled it as heart palpitations. i have those often, so i know the fucking difference.

i'd had health issues my entire life with no doctor ever finding the cause. it was supposedly all in my head. it was supposedly because of my (healthy) weight at the time. i have never been overweight, but i'm rather short so i stay under 100 lbs. it doesn't affect my health. that much i can say for sure. but doctors are convinced it's the cause of everything that's ever been wrong with me.

10 months ago i had a seizure. i have never had a seizure before. it was terrifying. when i went to the ER, i found out i have a condition called chiari malformation. all of my symptoms could be explained by this condition.

but what happened when i went to the neurologist? i was told i couldn't have symptoms (70% of people with chiari have symptoms). i was told i was "just skinny". i was questioned about my use of my medications. i was denied a follow up appointment.

to be honest, i'm tired of hearing that skinny people have it better. that everyone thinks doctors believe health problems will go away if you're skinny. it's just not true. no matter what your weight is, doctors will find a way to blame any and every health condition on it.

I’m juggling with a bunch of stuff and kind of didn’t have time to pick up the “changing my neurologist” elephant and add it to the great circus show that is my life right now, so this is awesome.

Our heroine thinks: Will she cry?  Will she laugh?  Will she get bored?  Will she find the answers she seeks?

I feel like for a while I had a very similar relationship with my epilepsy doctor.  It was just very lonely, and every three months I’d have therapy/checkups with my neuro.  If it was a rough couple of months, I’d end up using her half her tissue box.