slight annoyance
I had to go to neuro-feedback today and since I was so tired I was just going to go in there and watch the movie. Unfortunately, my....what exactly is she? we'll say feedbackist....feedbackist decided to say something that greatly upset me.
Apparently neuro-feedback might be a saving grace since I went 2 weeks without fainting. Personally, I don't see the two events correlating. And it's not like I've been feeling better. Helllooooo...I haven't been sleeping at all. AT ALL. According to my TOK notes, if I am not mistaken, that is a logical fallacy known as post hoc. I could be wrong.
Anyway
She went on to tell me that her ultimate goal is to make the fainting stop since it is the number one priority. And I understand that fainting is a big priority...but what about the rest of the day? The rest of the week? Every second of the day I am reminded of POTS. It never ends. I wake up feeling bad and I fall asleep feeling bad. I never seem to catch a break. Fainting allows me a brief moment of an unconscious state where I don't feel anything. And I understand I can get hurt really badly. I'm not an idiot. But my thoughts on that are that if I actually do get major damage from a fall, I probably won't wake up and, therefore, never know the difference. But that seems a little morbid.
The feedbackist made it seems as if my other symptoms were just side effects from medication. She treated them as if they were mild problems that could easily be fixed. And on top of everything she said that POTS explained my fainting and that all my other symptoms were not explained. That's when I got really mad. Excuse me, POTS explains all of my symptoms. All of the nausea, the dizziness, the temperature changes, the concentration issues....that's all POTS. Fainting can be a part of POTS but not all POTSies faint. That's where my vasovagal syncope comes in. That explains my fainting. And I tried to argue with her (politely, of course) and she had the nerve to tell me that based of her internet research...POTS=fainting.
I wanted to scream.
The information you got from your google search seemed to have given you such deep insider info of the condition that I live with constantly. Every second of the day. And you want to tell me that if I stopped fainting everything would just be dandy.
And then.........
She went on to say that it was fainting that was seriously interfering with my life. Oh yeah...without fainting I could suffer in silence and maintain a normal life. Oy vey. I was just furious.
I just sat there with my lips pursed and nodding my head. And I was about to say all that was in my mind but I was just too exhausted. I really didn't want to even open my mouth. I figured I should just push it out of my mind and enjoy Prime.
Oh, what a funny movie.
