#nerdfries

Half-orc girl and my character Arryn are chatting it up while setting up camp and I asked her about orc men 

Arryn: So, how are orc men?

Half-orc: Well, they are definitely not human. They definitely know how to be more barbaric 

Me and one of my best friends have been trying to step up our role-playing since we’re the only two girls in the group. We met a rather dickish Duke and well... our characters weren’t having it.

Duke: Ah, Tlali. *eyes her up and down* You definitely are beautiful. And your friend *eyes my character up and down*

Tlali: I’m sorry, but are you ogling me? The princess of the Tritons? I could overtake you kingdom, you know. I’m here to help you defeat the orcs that surround you.

Duke: *clicks his tongue* I’m sure you could have your misfits knights fight the fight but I doubt they’d win.

Tlali: Are you assuming that I do not fight with my friends? I, too, am a Knight of Chantry.

Duke: *rolls his eyes*

Tlali: Sir, but have you even fought ever?

(The group gasps)

Tlali: I doubt that you have considering you sit on your throne all day and view women merely as sexual objects.

Duke: Are you calling me out? For admiring your beauty?

Arryn: I wouldn’t call it admiring her, or my, beauty. If you don’t want to be called out for sexist behavior, then don’t simply do it. Isn’t it the Creator who said “if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out?” *sips her drink*

My Aasimar rouge, Arryn, was dating the Air Genasi Paladin, Voldrick, but we found out he was engaged so she decided to have a fling with the Tabaxi gladiator, Howl.

Howl: Voldrick, I have some news to tell you if we are being honest. I fucked Arryn.

Me: Howl, I’m pretty sure everyone knew we were having sex. We weren’t exactly secretive about it.

Cleric: We heard you through the walls.

Voldrick: Tell me, Arryn... Do you love him?

Me: *laughs* Howl and I are merely FWB. Friends with benefits.