#nerd fighter

Happy Esther Earl day.

One thing you should know about me is I have an obsession with John Green. I think he is one of the most brilliant and incredible people on this planet, I do feel bad about this since that's an awful lot of pressure to put on someone, especially someone who spends a lot of time writing about the dangers of making a person into more than a person and forgetting that they shit and fart and sleep and exist outside of this role we place them in in our hero worship. But I can't help it, I read his books and watch hank and John blog together and I can't help but think if the world were full of more Johns and Hanks world suck levels would significantly decrease and to me that's a pretty good reason for someone to be your hero. So John Green is my hero and that's how that works. It's also worth mentioning that Hanks green has ulcerative colitis, you may or may not be aware that I too have this shitty disease, in fact I am now as of today (the 13th of October) on my 23rd day in hospital because of it and have only just been told that I will more than likely leave in a week with my colon still inside my body, something that was not guaranteed to me yesterday. You would think that news is the best thing that happened to me today? You would be wrong. You see my mother with the help of my boyfriend bought me Turtles All The Way Down today and there is nothing the doctors could have told me that could compete, even that I get to go home soon and that I get to keep my organs. John Green has once again searched inside my brain and pulled out all the things I have ever felt and put them into words. I've had OCD as long as anyone can remember, it was joined by a whole host of other mental health problems as a got older but that's a story for another day because OCD has always been the first. John Green also happens to suffer from this stupid and irrational disorder and so does the protagonist of his newest book. I felt like my soul was being shown to me. I've gotten much better over the years and at 19 I've got a pretty firm grasp on my mental health but reading this was like being taken back to when I didn't, back to when everyday was a struggle for control over my own thoughts. I never like to comment on books accuracy when they are outside of my own experience but I can honestly say this book captured my ordeal with obsessive compulsive disorder so clearly I cried. John Green is such an incredible author, he pulls the thoughts right out of my head in a way I never could and puts them into words I could never find. Without his books I don't think I would be where I am today or have as strong a grasp on my mental health as I do. I honestly don't know if I can say I would be here today without his books. This is a really personal review because to me John Green books are personal, they were with me for every hospital admission, every low moment and high, I read and reread them and they helped me make sense of the mess inside my head. I finished this book in one sitting, it took a couple hours and I was trying to go slow but I just couldn't stop, I now plan to start all over again as soon as I finish this review. All I can say is I love this book. I love it and it was worth the wait and I need everyone in the world to read it because if John Green has had this much of a positive effect on me and my life I can't be the only one. Who I recommend this book to: every single person on this planet and those who aren't. I give this book a gold rose 🥀 because it is one of the best books I have ever read. The feeling you get when reading a John Green book is like no other.

@fishingboatproceeds