Neo: full body armour. Weapons on his back and helmet strapped tightly on his chin.

Peisi: in the nude, no loincloth or nothing and also hates blankets so he’s exposed to the world without a care.

Telemachus: Screw you!

Neoptolemus: I'll have to check with my significant other, but I'll get back to you.

-

Peisitratus: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Telemachus: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Peisitratus:

Telemachus: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Neoptolemus: We know what you meant.

(See? Tele is the freak here)

-

Peisitratus: Neoptolemus, you do remember when we agreed we were better off as friends, right?

Neoptolemus, naked in Peisitratus's bed: No, I absolutely do not.

Peisitratus, already taking off their clothes: F---... Me neither.

-

Peisitratus: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Neoptolemus is? Because Neoptolemus is a straight up s--ual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, A--achusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more a--.

-

Peisitratus: I like your top, Telemachus!

Neoptolemus: I have a name, you know.

Telemachus: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

-

Neoptolemus: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Telemachus: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

-

Telemachus, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Peisitratus: Neoptolemus's in the kitchen.

-

Telemachus: sapnu puaS.

Peisitratus: What??

Neoptolemus: What language is that.

Telemachus: Turn your phone 180 degrees.

*Telemachus was removed from the groupchat*

(Hey, he grew up with the suitors. Of course he'd be a freak)

-

Neoptolemus: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Peisitratus: What’s up your a-- this morning!

Telemachus: *walks in* ...Hey.

Peisitratus: Hmm… nevermind.

Neoptolemus: WAIT NO!

(It's the other way around isn't it?)

-

Peisistratus: Go f--- yourself.

Telemachus, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch

(STOP why is tele such a freak?)

-

Telemachus: Wow, Peisitratus, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Peisitratus: We literally slept together yesterday.

Telemachus: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

(Honestly he doesn't have a good stand point on lwedness (glances at the suitors))

-

Telemachus: What are you in the mood for?

Peisitratus: World domination.

Telemachus: That's a bit ambitious.

Peisitratus: You are my world.

Telemachus: Aww...

Peisitratus:

Telemachus:

Peisitratus:

Telemachus: OH.

(Dont say it like that peisi, he'd like it)

-

Neoptolemus: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Telemachus: Nope, there's 26.

Neoptolemus: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Telemachus: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Neoptolemus: You'll get the D later ;).

(Tele casually bottoming)

-

Peisitratus: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Telemachus: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Peisitratus: Seize the d---.

-

Peisistratus: Who do we know that has handcuffs?

Neoptolemus: Well Telemachus and I-

Telemachus: *elbows Neoptolemus*

Neoptolemus: ...wouldn't know.

(It was tele's idea, wasn't it?)

-

Telemachus: *sucking on a popsicle*

Peisitratus: Pfft, you practicing for when Neoptolemus gets here?

Telemachus: *takes a huge a-- bite out of the popsicle*

Peisitratus: *Concern*

-

Peisitratus: I feel like doing something stupid.

Neoptolemus: I’m stupid, do me.

(The math on the last one)

-

Telemachus: Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.

Neoptolemus, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.

Peisitratus: Wow, Telemachus was late too! What a coincidence!

(😏)

-

Neoptolemus: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Telemachus: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

(Freak tele)

-

Neoptolemus: Stay foxy.

Telemachus: Die lonely.

(Tele this is not your mother's suitors.)

-

Telemachus: My hands are cold.

Neoptolemus: Here, let me hold them.

Telemachus: My lips are cold too.

Neoptolemus: *covers Telemachus's mouth with their hand*

(Neo is not the brightest)

-

Neoptolemus: Do you love me?

Telemachus: We’re literally married.

Neoptolemus: Yeah, but as friends or—

(Again, not the brightest)

-

Neoptolemus: Truth or dare?

Peisitratus: Truth!

Neoptolemus: Do you-

Telemachus: I dare you to kiss me.

Peisitratus: *kisses Telemachus*

Neoptolemus, to Orestes: They said “truth”, right?

(Lmao)

-

Neoptolemus: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Telemachus: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Neoptolemus: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Peisitratus, on a walkie talkie: This is Peisitratus, those idiots are f---ing around in the East wing again.

(Jahdkabsianhsn)

-

*playing twister*

Neoptolemus: Right hand red.

Telemachus: *ends up on top of Peisitratus*

Peisitratus: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

Neoptolemus: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

(So he's a voyeur?)

-

Neoptolemus: What do you want to be for Halloween?

Telemachus: Yours.

Neoptolemus:

Neoptolemus: …yeah, that would be pretty scary.

(Neo sees ody)

-

Neoptolemus: I have a lie detector in my shirt.

Telemachus: …What? Weirdo. Take it off, then.

Peisitratus: Why do you want them to take off their shirt?

Telemachus: WHAT- NO I DON’T…

Neoptolemus: beep… beep…

(FREAK TELE)

-

Neoptolemus: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Telemachus: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Neoptolemus: But you’re always acting stupid?

Telemachus: ...

Telemachus: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

(Ah yes perfect)

-

Neoptolemus: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Telemachus: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out on bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

(As I said, tele is the freak here. And he has bad pointers for the examples)

-

Telemachus: Hi.

Peisitratus: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell them?

Telemachus: I did.

Peisitratus: And what did they say?

Telemachus: “Thank you.”

Peisitratus: You’re totally welcome. What’d they say?

Telemachus: They said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and Neoptolemus said, “Thank you.”

(He panicked)

-

Neoptolemus: Are we fighting or flirting?

Telemachus: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Neoptolemus: Your point?

(He's seen war, tele. You'd know from the suitors spars)

-

Peisitratus: Hey, Neoptolemus? Can I get some dating advice?

Neoptolemus: Just because I'm with Telemachus doesn't mean I know how I did it.

(Tele started it)

-

Telemachus: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted.

Peisitratus: I’m “a couple of things”.

Neoptolemus: I’m “got distracted”.

(They're a treasome, and tele bottoms. It's just easier for him to smooth talk because Hermes)

-

Peisitratus: Telemachus is playing hard to get.

Peisitratus: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

-

Neoptolemus: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

(Neo: about Orestes)

-

Neoptolemus, talking about Telemachus: WHAT THE F--- I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE F--- WHAT DO I DO.

(Ody get your son)

-

Neoptolemus: I want to kiss you.

Peisitratus, not paying attention: What?

Neoptolemus: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

-

Peisitratus: *pretending to joke* So when are you going to go out with me?

Telemachus: I don't know. When are you going to ask me to?

Neoptolemus: And you just ran away?!

Peisitratus: I didn't expect them to flirt back!

So here are a couple of wips

Top diopen. Diomedes design is @simoondraws and I think Penelope is just Penelope.

Close up and reference under cut

Ok I’m just a yapper and wanted to talk about them I’ll not lie to myself. (All of what Im about to say is basically the explanation of my last post about them, the meme of Neo getting flushed about holding hands and Tele just chill while thinking the biggest atrocities a human can think of……..)

I would also like to thank @/diomedeshoe (not my moot, don’t want to annoy them) for letting me use their art for the sheet🫶 I really needed something to make it more clear that this is for them lmao

Let’s go we all have a month to prepare yipie

edit: for everyone who’ll participate and post things of it, it’d be easier to find by using a tag so uhh ‘neomachus kinktober’ is great ig

ok umm just some more things I’d like to say about it ig: