#nendrab

I wrote a new ficlet. Can be found on AO3 here.

It was a regular evening in the bookshop. An evening like many others since the averted apocalypse. Comfortable routine.

Crowley however wasn’t comfortable, but restless. He had been changing his position on the sofa, again and again and again, twisting and turning in every possible and impossible way but he couldn’t relax. He glanced over to Aziraphale who was talking. Crowley was listening to him but he could not recall a word of what had been said. There was an itch under his skin, in his bones, a deep ache in his muscles and blood. The sofa was too giving under him, too soft, or maybe just soft in the wrong way.

Crowley took a deep breath and got onto the ground, away from the sofa, instead leaning against Aziraphale’s chair. The angel’s voice paused, then turned questioning, concerned. Crowley waved at him, motioning to continue. He was fine. He would be fine. The voice returned. The words started to form properly again.

Crowley leaned against Aziraphale’s chair, listening to him. The itch, the ache, were still there. The dim room was too bright. His head was too heavy. With a sigh he gave in. His head dropped, resting against Aziraphale’s leg. The words did not stop this time. The voice stayed but changed, shifting to softer tones, a comforting murmur cradling him. Flowing past like a calm river. Crowley finally relaxed incrementally. Hard and soft, the right kind. He closed his eyes against the too bright dimness. There was a weight against the other side of his head, a movement in his hair, settling. The itch finally subsided. The ache receded. Everything quieted.

Crowley has been tired before.

This shouldn't be such a big deal.

Sleep shouldn't tempt him to stay home instead of meeting up with Aziraphale, not now that things are going so well between them, not now that things are allowed to be going well. He keeps telling himself this, denial and spite enabling him to drag himself through the City, finally reaching the door of the bookshop. Arrived at the goal...

And then suddenly, he finds himself draped over the old musty couch and Aziraphale, very confused as to HOW that happened but not at all opposed to it.

"Wha-" he manages to get out before a huge jawn takes over.

"Oh, there you are, love," Aziraphale says, smiling down at him. "I found you sleeping against my door. I wasn't sure if that was part of one of your nefarious plans, but I figured this would be more comfortable."

Crowley stretches and wiggles and sinks even more into the comfortable embrace.

I remember The first time I saw you The world shattered Even though it had just been made

I remember The first time you spoke to me Words so infuriating, so interesting, so different It made me question everything even more

I remember The first kindness Shelter, safety, warmth Given so unthinkingly it was unthinkable

I remember A first laugh, a first touch A first time sharing Discoveries made together Fights and, dare I call it forgiviness

I remember all of it.

This AU was inspired by @luckyspike who saw a magician that was 100% Crowley. And also p dorky. So, here we go: Carnival AU!

Both of them grew up on the carnival. Crowley developed a huge crush on him when Aziraphale gave away a really neat toy plastic saber (it could make wooshing noises) to some kids who had to go home late and needed a light.

Aziraphale has a win a book stall. He reads on the job and also puts his own books in between the prize books on accident. Hence, he ends up fighting children way more than anyone on the carnival should.

Crowley is the magician who also may or may not be kind of a con man, exchanging your money for fakes during his show. Problem is he's actually pretty terrible at the conning part. They have an arrangement where Aziraphale swoops in and distracts people if things get dicey, and Crowley distracts parents when Aziraphale needs to get back a book from a child. Crowley also maybe sometimes stresscleans Aziraphale’s booth and alphabetizes the books, which Aziraphale hates, but he loves that Crowley finds his books when he misplaced them so it’s ok.

There’s a big romantic moment when Crowley improvises a show and swipes back three books from a german family.

But then their families get in a big fight and want to stop the fair… FOREFAIR.

They try everything they can to stop it, including increasingly convoluted plans that MAY end in kids getting swapped and raised with the wrong families, but that didn’t even work out because those families were kinda ok with one another anyway.

In the end they just leave and start their own fair with Tracy the fortune teller, Anathema and Newt who man an amazing food stand, and Shadwell, who noone knows what he does but they don’t have the heart to tell him to go away. Which is good, because as it turns out later he was the fair’s lawyer all the time and he got ALL the dirt on the families.

For example there was a biiiig con scheme, and then that story with the lady that somehow left the fair with an extra nipple… In the end everyone agrees the new fair will be left alone, and they all are happy.

You know They tell each other stories About how the world was made Seven days Day and night Land and sea Creatures above and below and everywhere And them

They believe it Even though they don't know it true The same way you do The same way I do too

But the thing noone tells Noone believes Noone knows Is how the world Was made anew When I met you

You have given me a new petname, A token of your affection And like all the other precious affections I have snatched it and greedily hidden it away from them all in my heart

This freshly minted moniker (Don't you see, I'll even alliterate for you) Is Dreadfully inconvenient

I haven't heard it spoken But I have read it off your lips Off the smile you singe me with only to hide it away Off the purse and pout when you consider my temptations

It's not a tender thing to call someone Not a compliment, not poetry And yet I am addicted to it More than to any substance ever offered Addicted to something so insubstantial

Do you ever guess? How half of my words are only meant to rile you up so I can see your passion How all of my temptations are half hearted so you can ponder them and decide on your own

I'm sure it's all terribly annoying To have someone so opposite, so oppositional Yet you never complain, swallow all words The ones I long to hear and the ones that would destroy me (And how befitting that is for you)

But as long as you let me, I'll watch, and I'll hope and I'll stay Yours faithfully Dreadfully inconvenient Forever

This is for a good omens version where Crowley was secretly writing poetry for a long time, and they might just be some of Aziraphale’s favourites…

Check out the fic that inspired it all here and the rest of my poetry here!

aka Do not challenge me to write a feely poem with a ridiculous metaphor because i WILL

telling someone

about what i feel for you

would be like pouring them out into a pan

all the individual facets, the kernels

and their knowing would heat it up

make them pop all over

impossible to hide

unless you give me the same

molten butter

so we can consume them

I would never say I love you What a tasteless phrasing No pizzaz, overused, no meaning Associations and accusations of the worst kind

No, the words I will say won't be I love you But they will only have The meaning I imbue them with And the meaning you leave them with

So I will say Words dripping of sarcasm, irony and truth And you will see the sarcasm and the irony And neatly pack away the truth you cannot face

I could confess, I should think Confess with words that are entirely true And not endanger us Because you wouldn't hear it

I could confess, but I won't For fear someone else might hear For fear it will endanger us For fear you really wouldn't

So I would never say I love you But every word I ever say Will mean it all the same

This is for a good omens version where Crowley was secretly writing poetry for a long time, and they might just be some of Aziraphale’s favourites…

Check out the fic that inspired it all here and the rest of my poetry here!