For my desolated tumblr page.

(it’s so sad to write so, but what can be sadder than reality?)

So right now I’m in a month before 3rd semester ends and holiday approaches. This is the month of hell. Papers, essays, field works, suck-a-dick dramas, and creamy yet fatty food combined forming a large, malicious, eye-hurting bright-colored monster. This monster ready to eat me alive, and I think it’ll wait for December to eat me (knowing that last year’s 1st of December really destroyed me), I am just guessing from the experience of mine.

Anyway, I just wanted to write something in this typical night about my thought that floating around my brain. It’s about how loneliness can introduce you to someone you really need to know, the name is “yourself” (or you, me, her/him, whatever you refer yourself as).

I love being lonely and mellow and stuff because it lets you do anything freely, imagine something you wish to achieve, recollect all things you’ve done and blame yourself about how you were supposed to reacted at that time (I did this like a LOT). Those things really satisfying to do and stressing at the same time. But really, being lonely really help you find yourself and shape yourself. Being lonely force you to talk to yourself, to argue and to be mad to yourself—your mind, and you can win it. Unlike talking to other people, sometimes they just love to bring you down without giving way out to your problems. I mean no harm but I have few friends that are too often to do that. Maybe they were teasing me but it’s just, like, y’know, me being, and I was like— FUCK OFF. (Sorry G and O, I love you both but you guys are so cruel and I hate myself for hating you both. Cheers.)