Apr 21, 2014
Sometimes, I don't know what to say. I have a millon things I need to say, but it's nothing only comes out.
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Sometimes, I don't know what to say. I have a millon things I need to say, but it's nothing only comes out.
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Swirling ideas
For these past few months, I have wanted to create a video. Which is a bit of a weird idea, for those who know me, I know. But I want to do it so I can prove a point I. To those who broke me, judged me and made me feel so alone, that the nightmares never left me during daylight. To show a different side of me in a aspect, but I feel so conflicted about doing it. I'm sort of deciding between a lyric video with a message in it and a completely home made video in a place none of my friends have been before. To show how different I am now thanks to them and explain it...
I feel like there is so much i need to say to you.... but theres no point you made up your mind already.
"Você sabe que no fim é melhor dizer demais, do que nunca dizer o que você precisa dizer."
You know when...
You know when you want to tell some people something but you just can't bring yourself to say it, and then it eats away at you all day for days on end? Or, when you don't want to admit it, but that you miss something or someone and know that if you ever said that to anyone they would criticize you for it? How about when you want to see someone you haven't seen in so long and you know it would be weird, but you just want to, just for a moment? Right about now, i know all of these.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I'm so sick and I don't know why. Could it be any worse? Because I really have to go to college on thursday and I have this big presentation and I need a really good grade because I don't want to fail. I'm wearing my pajamas and I HATE pajamas. This means that I'm really really sick. Why am I always the one who screws things up? Seriously, I just want to get better.
And my dad is so stressed and I don't want to see him like this and it means that I have to find a job and my dad needs to retire because he did a lot for me and now is my turn.
And I bought a lot of clothes today and I seriously don't know why. I'm not wearing to hang out with anyone because I don't hang out and I should've saved the money for my new camera. (And my english sucks even though I'm graduated because I'm a fucking loser)
I can't handle this mess. I can't be Raíssa right now. I need something to distract me, I need someone to love me. I don't mean a boyfriend, I mean a real friend or something like that. I don't really know how I'm supposed to live like this, this is not a life. I know I have the ''perfect life'' with everything I need, but it's not working like this. I can't stand this mess that I'm inside. I can't stand being this anxious anymore. Because everytime I'm getting the fuck out of my house I think I'm gonna die and my air disappears and I just can't breathe and I think I'm going to throw my heart up. Know that I have to go to college and face people and talk to them really makes me wanna die. I don't remember the last that I had fun because it was a long time ago. I don't even know what if ''fun''anymore.
I'm really nervous and I can't try to be sweet because I know I'm not going to be kind with anyone. I really wish someone every morning to huge me and tell that everything is going to be ok.. but I don't have this person in my life. So, what am I supposed to do?