Feb 23, 2018
Getting really nervous over a graphic art test!!! it feels like taking the first entrance exam for Nursing major. :(Ā
tanginang kinakabahan ako sobra!
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Getting really nervous over a graphic art test!!! it feels like taking the first entrance exam for Nursing major. :(Ā
tanginang kinakabahan ako sobra!
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I wanna go climb a mountain and scream on the top of my lungs.
I know that it may seem like to some that I am constantly moaning or havenātĀ āgotten overā my parentsā lack of involvement and support in my life but to be honest, I feel as if I have every right to complain about it.Ā I didnāt ask to be born in to this world. I didnāt ask to receive life. And yet here I am being told that I am my own problem and made to deal with everything by myself as if existing was a choice that I made. It feels like my parents have completely forgotten that they brought me in to this world because theyāve pretty much wiped their hands of me. I canāt ask them for any of the things that I need in this life and if I do, Iām told that Iām either asking for too much or that I need to do it without their help. Iāll tell you what: Iām fucking sick of living in a situation that I had no choice in being a part of. I didnāt choose to be a part of this family. I didnāt choose to have both of my parents not have a steady income or work a day in their lives. I didnāt choose to survive off of welfare money. I didnāt ask for any of this and yet here I am struggling to deal with all and no one is throwing me a lifeline and I am fucking drowning. I donāt give a shit if I sound like a little baby; Iām tired of doing everything by myself and not being able to ask for help from the two people who made the decision to give me life.
I am responsible for myself, Iām fully aware of that. The thing is, I donāt have a fucking clue in which direction to go or how to be independent because Iāve never seen someone do it before. Iāve never had a role model to look up to growing up that could lead the way and show me how to survive in this world without being on benefits and when I get angry cause Iām scared, Iām pretty much told that itās my problem.
Iām really on the edge right now.
I miss you so much. You made me feel so special, so pretty, so important, so wanted, so needed. You made me feel funny and quick witted, you made me feel like everything I had to say was important. You wanted to try the things that I liked, you wanted to know what I thought about the things that were important to you. You wanted to know why I didn't like something, what my problem was with that person, why I was down or tired. You supported me through the smallest most unimportant problems to the ones that affected my future and scared me to death. You made me feel safe. You made me feel like I could get through anything. I wanted to be with you all the time. We talked all day, most the night. I visited you at work and you met up with me when you were free. I wanted to hear everything you had to say, what happened at work, what happened on your night out, why you were stressed or worried. I wanted to know about your family, your dog, why you didn't like going away. I wanted to see your smile and your laugh, all day. You were so important to me, I should have told you that direct. We were so close. You left. Suddenly we couldn't speak much anymore and I broke. I think you met someone else. You let me walk out your life. I told you I couldn't just be friends with you anymore. And you let me go. I didn't think you would but you did. I hoped you would fight. You didn't. It hurts like hell. I hope that girl knows how lucky she is. I hope you know how much you meant to me. Maybe I was more into it than I thought you were at the time, maybe I was naive. I will never know. But I miss you and I hope your well and I hope one day you'll miss me too. God, moving on is hard.
Have people that I can talk to, but no one that I can REALLY talk to...hate having to keep things to myself.
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It's confirmed
I'm into older guys and it sucks because they all think I'm immature but I am not. Fuck man.
Some people proper piss me off, cannot be doing with sly fuckers anymore, how dare you be such a hypocrite and have the nerve to throw sly fucking hints at me? What's the point, be your own person, get your own fucking ideas, way and path, I've found mine now go and fine your fucking own instead of constantly being on my ass all the time, nothing is sacred with you around is it