#nedthepiemaker

hi! here:

All Things 'Captain Marvel' with Brie Larson: Fight Sequences, Superpowers, Goose The Cat | THR

does this mean i get to pick the character or should i just do headcanons for the mcu world as a whole because Boy Howdy do i have them ! actually im gonna do that lmao if you want a specific character i’ll do that too but

realistic: there have been multiple movies and tv shows made about captain america and the howling commandos. none are accurate. steve and sam watch them one afternoon and take a drink every time something is wrong. sam has to stop after like a normal human amount of time but steve just keeps going.

also peter is gay 

while it may not be realistic it is hilarious: the snl skit with j/rmy rnner playing a hawkeye who ran out of arrows exists in the mcu. and j.r. is the one who plays him because in my ideal universe he would not have gotten near the character of clint barton.

heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends: the world freezes when half the population vanishes. even after the initial mourning period passes, the world just cannot continue. a million stories crop up about the novels that will never be finished, the songs that will never be written, the buildings never built, discoveries never made. the world just pauses to mourn. no one knows what else to do.

unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own: just like take mcu clint barton and replace him with matt fraction’s clint barton. when they go to his house in age of ultron kate and lucky are there. kate is like “listen here you dumb piece of shit! you better not have called me out to east jesus nowhere for no reason! i had a date this weekend!” and clint is like “oh you need a whole weekend to get ready for a date or what? be serious for like two seconds katie-kate--” and then lucky comes running in and clint instantly gives up on seeming authoritative and jumps on the ground with his dog cooing about how much he missed him. the other avengers are suitably perplexed. 

also j/rmy r/nner doesn’t play him anymore because i only approved of that casting when i was young foolish and thought i was heterosexual so like get him out and replace him with someone else