#nectarine.rocks

Three options lay before me. One. Cleo is getting greyer because she’s aging. Two. Cleo is getting greyer as a temp related thing ala fox rabbit etc. three. Im fucking stupid and have never really for real noticed her colors

It’s sooooooo awesome to adopt what are they gonna do. Fire me. I’ve applied this in aspects that aren’t my job lately but it does hit the hardest. At my job. Every time I’m like augh I want to stop to grab coffee but I might be late. I go. Hang on. What are they gonna do. Fire me? And go anyway.

I’ve been freaking out a little about the three projects I committed to finishing before I leave my job because they’ve been all jumbled in my head but I just input like the 7 comparisons I have run and are just taking up space in my (physical) folder into the analyzer program and it’s soothed me. So severely. Like oh actually this is really manageable. I can completely clear them from my list they can be chunked into a different folder to disappear they are 100% finished I don’t ever need to think about them again

Two days in a row I’ve made myself really nauseous by playing pills on an empty stomach games and last night I went okay tomorrow I am for REAL not doing that. Which is true. Because I’ve done something else. Which is forget to take my pills to work.

Who recommended James gleick to me. It rocks and it’s making me crazy. Thanks

Just got an extremely mixed bag (assistant manager being really profuse with praise and help about me doing something else. Good. ) (explicit acknowledgement of the fact that I work harder and am (ten times!) more efficient and competent than our stupid idiot LOSER boss. Bad?)

JUST GOT NEW NUMBERS FROM LORI 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 I’ve spent the last two weeks going man this would be so easy if I had these numbers. And she just. Tweeted it out to me becaue I asked. 🧡 it’s so soothing. To look at numbers. It’s so awesome. To look at numbers. Looking at numbers. To calm down. Oh ho ho. I just love my little numbers

Has anyone noticed that when you address and plan things you feel better and less constantly muddled and more sure of yourself. Im noticing this

Going to do some straight #winging it this weekend. Nothing bad can ever happen

It’s going to be really funny if I do get this contract and quit my job to work thirty minutes away. From my job

For a long time kind of I was doing something where there were no variables involved in my presentation. And then I introduced variables slowly. And instead of getting outcompeted they filled the niche. I don’t think there are very many curveballs left in my evolution I think the broad strokes are pretty set I just might like. Start wearing polo shirts or become a soldering hobbyist. which is more of. Regional difference than new speciation . My point is I was trying to figure out if becoming a math guy is the extent of a different guy I could become in a way that still made sense