#ncjiwon

jiwon is born at anyang, a rainy day amid autumn, and unfortunately – his birth is the trigger of his family’s fallout.

his mother leaves when he turns five, no longer able to carry the weight of debt and his father’s gambling addiction. she leaves money for his older brother and a phone number – she carries a new name and flees the country.

jiwon turns to be the opposite of his brother – energetic and always bored, he doesn’t pay attention at school and then stops attending altogether, finding interest in a different type of knowledge; something he is good at for once.

finding comfort at dark alleys rather than at his own house, jiwon learns the street arts fast – scars on his knuckles and pockets full of illegal supplies, he roams the city lights with hope to find in them a home.

he is sixteen when he meets mr. baek, who offers him good money for a couple of errands – jiwon’s fight or flight instinct kicks off once he learns what he is required to do, but desperate for money and always hungry for attention, jiwon agrees.

despite dropping out of school, jiwon is a quick learner – maybe of less traditional studies. very quickly he becomes better at what he does, branching out to bigger deals – enough money in his pockets and mind at rest, everything is going well for a change.

that is, until a man he has “sent a warning” to appears on the news – minor case in a city like anyang, but jiwon fears it would be the catalyst to his end.

jiwon is eighteen when he tells his father he is enlisting to the KOR navy, and with their apartment walls reflecting red and blue, he moves to his new base in jinhae – where he serves 23 months.

mr. baek finds him in his new apartment in seoul two years after he finishes his service. he owes him a big favor for running off like that, jiwon knows, and gladly agrees to be the presser in his dry-cleaning shop.

jiwon resides in his brother’s apartment in seoul – his brother moving to live with their mother, and with his father in a rehabilitation program – jiwon is finally free of his vices and debt – finally finding peace in his solitude.

“what do you mean, you’re moving to adelaide?” jiwon asks but it comes off as a statement, his brother rolling his eyes at him from across the table.

the keys lay cold between them, waiting to be accepted.

“told you, i got nothing to look for in seoul. mom says she has a spare room – i’ll stay there for a while.”

jiwon is skeptic, he never trusted her – despite how attached jisung was to the idea of her, to the fantasy of reuniting with her. she left them once, jiwon wouldn’t want his brother to be hurt twice. no matter how much he voices these thoughts, they always go ignored.

“i don’t get it – you work for a big company and get side-money from your computer bullshit,” the chair scrapes unpleasantly against the wooden floor as he stands – jisung hisses at the sound, and jiwon merely continues, “now you’re leaving me, too? didn’t we promise to stick together after they took dad away? asshole.”

jisung breathes and stands up as well, carefully, “she said she has room for you.”

“our loving mother hasn’t spoken to me in fifteen years!” jiwon laughs but there’s no joy there, “the only place i agree to see her is in the pits of hell.”

they remain silent, jiwon is vibrating with anger – his fingers are twitching with restlessness, foot tapping against the parquet in annoyance.

“i’ll take care of the fucking apartment, don’t worry.” he sighs, fingertips itchy. “can’t believe you gave up on me, too.” it’s a mumbled after-thought, spoken to the ground rather than at his brother.

there’s a sigh and weight on his shoulder, jiwon doesn’t expect an apology – it is not a common courtesy in their family, but the half-hearted hug is almost soothing. almost.

“quit it, i will come around. they’re on my tail with what you call “computer bullshit” and i don’t want to get in trouble. familiar?” jisung is smug and jiwon hates his brother for reading him like an open book.

he nods, eyes locking on the set of keys and he punches his brother’s shoulder, finally flashing a smile – albeit somewhat reserved.

“i’ll come find you, if things go off the rails for me again. tell mom to keep that space she has, don’t know how long i will last in this goddamn city.”