#nbooth

I also decided to watch Rouge One today... I honestly can’t say that I liked it all that much... It was mildly entertaining but really should have just been a straight to DVD kind of thing, it’s was just so average.

I also went to see my parents today, I mowed the lawn at their place, and got a battery charger and my water sprayer so that I could spray the lawn with some seasol, hopefully doing that will actually work though and not kill everything it touches, because that would kind of really suck... I don’t really use fertiliser much, mainly because it usually really smells and I keep the plants on a windowsill in my bedroom, so yeah... That plus I know that too much of a good thing does usually seem to fuck shit up, so I’m going to try and keep it down to about once a week or so and see how things go... So far the plants are doing pretty well though, so that’s awesome!

In other news I also saw louise again today, I’d really like to ask her out, but I’m not really seeing any super obvious signs that she’s really into me like that apart from the occasional opening up to, plus I still don’t really know if I actually WANT to go out with anyone really... I really just want someone to cuddle occasionally honestly... Like a pet, but I’d much prefer someone I can talk to as well...

I also saw my high school friends today, that was alright... They started without me again, which I did say I didn’t mind when I was back in mona vale, but now I don’t even know... Honestly I feel like the world is against me... I think it might be in reaction to the fact that I took one pill less than I normally do earlier in the week because I ran out of medication, but that shouldn’t really be the reason... should it? like, does 60mg less of duloxetine for one night REALLY fuck me up that much??? I certainly know that taking none of it at all (accidentally, even without realising it) does later in the week, but I should be fine with at least SOME of it, shouldn’t I? I wish I has taking less and less in small doses without knowing to see if it’s just my brain doing a placebo thing or if I do actually need it... Because I certainly know for sure that if I do it because I forgot I get super fucked up because of it much later on in the week...