#nbday

There are so many amazing, beautiful, wonderful, awesome people on the nonbinary day tag right now, and it makes me really happy. I love you all. You all make this world a better place. <3

So, I posted on my Facebook about nonbinary and what that even means, and a little bit about why it’s important to have visibility. I also said that I use they/them pronouns. My mom shared the post. Her friend commented, “She’s awesome.” She... She.  I LITERALLY JUST SAID I USE THEY. It’s not that hard?? It’s in the post that you presumably just read. I don’t understand.

Ok so before nbday is over, imma share my story! I first found out I was nonbinary in my junior year of high school. It was very difficult because I'm from a very homophobic, close minded, southern town. I didn't actually come out as trans until about a year and a half ago, and a lot of people were very supportive of my name change. However, my dad (to this day) has been horribly disrespectful about the whole thing. So disrespectful in fact, that I had to cut my ties with him recently for refusing to defend me against gross transphobes. The point of this is to focus on the people that will love you, no matter who you are, and will respect you, no matter how you identify. There will always be people who care about you. You are loved, and your gender is valid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Lorcan came to the realization they were agender when they were nine. They were sitting on the floor of some Bulgarian wizard camp, listening to their father discuss sightings of werewolf vampire hybrids when they sat back and said "you know... I don't /like/ being male.... But I don't want to be like mum either.....or anything." And Rolf looked down at him and went and got Luna, and then they both hugged them and said "of course that's fine!" Lysander had a harder time of it. E wasn't comfortable coming out when it came to eir gender. E'd already had to come out as aroace to his family, tell them that e didn't want a family, didn't want to feel anything like commitment on a romantic or sexual level. Had to tell them how e had always felt so /broken/ because eir mom and dad and aunts and uncles had always looked so happy in love. UntilRoxanne laughed and told em that they were okay. That there was a word for it all. That nothing was /wrong/ just /different/. Being genderfluid was difficult some days. Waking up, not knowing if you were a boy or a girl or something in between, not knowing what you'd be by noon. Lysander felt guilty the first couple of years everytime e'd have to duck eir head and say "no.... That's... I was... This morning I was he... Now I'm... Now I'm...." And e'd trail off, not sure what to say. But then they traveled to America, em, eir parents, and Lorcan. And they met a vampire who went by "Va, Vam, Vamself." And Lysander realized e could /make up his own/ pronouns. Ey tried out faeself, jayself, and for a while narself, but none of those really fit. And after research e decided in E/ey/eir. Because they were gender neutral, and sounded like both he and she at times. And now e can smile sardonically, say "No, no. He did not say that. Nor did she. E said it. And I am e."

Nonbinary Grantaire who leans towards male most days but there's a lot of days where he feels like /he/ is a foreign word they can't grasp, /they/ is too impressionable, is not what fits, and nothing sticks just right. But Grantaire doesn't agonize over it. There's plenty of other things in life that don't have a name, that can't be explained or defined. The color blue in Enjolras' eyes or the tired but so, so, so alive look of Jehan's posture. The happiness found in Joly even on the most painful days and the smile of Bossuet when the stars come out and he's still holding hands with the two people who love him. There plenty to be worried about. A name that Grantaire can't place on the most wonderful of days is not one of them. They'll wear wine red lipstick and proclaim clothing isn't gendered as they try to fit into Jehan's most flowey dress and their old black converse. Gender is a construct that does not fit them and fuck it all they'll live however they want today.

A bit late to the party, but I’ve been keeping up with everybody else’s NB day posts, just wasn’t feeling myself re: selfies today, so happy NB day!

one of the best things to come from this nbday is the word "diamoric" ngl I love it and I'm so thankful of the people who created it