#navygreen

I wish he was too. I wanna be laying on his chest. Take me back 20 hours and I’d be there. His sleep habits don’t match. This heartburn makes me wish I didn’t have a chest. I wanna vomit in more ways than just these words. I need sleep. Probably don’t deserve it but damn I’d rather be sleeping than struggling to breathe. Man I miss him. I bed I’d sleep if he was here. He always puts me to ease.

Dad took this.

When I wanna post something about her but question it cause everything you do these days on social media is for attention. I wish I could say that I’m doing it solely to get it off my chest but that’s not true. I want people to know it’s her birthday. It’s a good day. It’s a hard day but it’s a special day. It’s nothing like dad when he texts us. It’s just a happy birthday.

It’s always his words that stick with me. I don’t think it’s strangers. Strangers don’t know you. They don’t know your favorite color changes from black to orange to yellow to red with the tides. Or that you dance when you eat and don’t like ice cream without sprinkles. Strangers see you for a split second and judge you on their own insecurities. When he says things to me, they stick. They repeat. I wanna be better for him.

Clarity

I’d like to wish my mom a very happy 60th birthday.