1. This might sound grim, but Hoyt attacking them in prison. That was the episode that made it click for me. Hoyt following his M.O. (hurting the wife and making the “husband” watch before he killed them) wasn’t subtle at all and seeing Jane go completely feral to defend her girlfriend Maura really did it for me. That episode did set a precedent for absolutely no emotional aftermath by having them attend that god-awful horse-themed birthday party, though. 

2. The wedding fantasies talk. LOOK, if any viewer had been living in denial up until this scene, this surely couldn’t have made it more obvious. They were, and I can’t stress this enough, lying on a mattress together. Jane was wearing that tank top. They were having wine. Sasha had a cold, so Maura’s voice was particularly low. And then they were talking about their DREAM WEDDINGS in such an intimate tone. By the time Jane turned around to face Maura I couldn’t breathe anymore. The moment I punched the wall was when Maura, referring to Jane’s hypothetical wedding, asked “Can I come?”. FUCK! ME! Ignoring all innuendo that could be drawn from that line alone, what do you mean “can I come”???????????? YOU’D BE THE OTHER BRIDE, YOU IDIOT

3. The episode where they make up after Jane shot Doyle. It hurt to see them hurting, ngl, but the whole bitchy, 3rd-grade feud, atmosphere of that episode amuses me. AND THEN THEY ALMOST DIE. That shit was so intense and even though you knew they wouldn’t kill off any of their leads, I was still on the edge of my seat. Jane protecting Maura when leaving the car while it was being shot at? Nice. Her propping Maura up by the butt? Nicer. Them hiding in the woods, Maura telling Jane to take her shirt off and Jane having to perform SURGERY on Maura’s leg with a SHARD OF GORILLA GLASS?? Poetic cinema. Maura saving them with her drowsy morse code? Amazing.Them fully making up later on and Jane nuzzling into Maura’s neck? I cried a little. I realize this is several moments, but what can I say? I’m a rule breaker (just gave myself a giggle with that LIE).

4. The I Kissed a Girl episode. Do you realize this ICONIC episode was the 6th episode of the FIRST season?? The queerbaiting got more ridiculous as the show went on, but they knew what they were doing from the start and we fell for it like the representation-starved women we are and you know what, I’d probably still fall for it today because I’m WEAK. That episode was literally about a lesbian bar murder. We had Jane and Maura discussing lesbianism and what kind of women they’d like; Them falling asleep in bed together; Jane going on “””fake””” dates with women; Jane being kissed on the neck by a woman and going to Maura for her to swab it (!); Maura telling Jane about the health benefits of sex. I mean. That was the full gay package.

5. I like tommy a lot, but I love you was how I lost all ability to produce coherent thoughts for HOURS. Even to me, who thinks it’s totally fine to say “I love you” to friends, that was a tad much if you’d die on the “they’re just best friend forever” hill. Telling your friends you love them is awesome. Doing so when you’re trying to establish you’re not romantically interested in someone else is ROMANTIC and you can fight me. In conclusion, they were gay and TNT, Janet Tamaro, Jan Nash and Angie Harmon owe me financial compensation for my troubles. Not Sasha, she’s an angel.

THIS IS BY NO MEANS A COMPREHENSIVE LIST

1. I already enjoyed this when she wore it to court, but then it made a come back paired with my favorite hairstyle and I’m still swooning

2. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still TEAM JUMPSUIT and I would love to see her in that in their future wedding, but this dress made her so soft and she was so happy. And then there’s the neckline.

3. Gray power suit that started it all... Vanessa had no chance.

4. I love seeing her in her dressing gown!! Why haven’t we seen her in that in Jacobs Fold?? 

5. MA’AM THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CARDIGAN

HAHA I WAS STILL SUCCESSFUL #CHAOSWIN

lol you did it, kid!

14. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given?

A coworker once said that she felt at peace when I was around because we shared so many views that when someone had a bad take she could look at me and know she wasn’t alone in her thoughts. That was nice.

18. Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable?

I haven’t actually been around people other than the ones who live with me, so I’ll say the hosts in Emma Atkins’ latest radio interview lol They didn’t say anything outright bad at all, but I suffer from extreme secondhand embarrassment, so I just had to mute them for most of it.

27. What part of a person's body do you usually find the most attractive?

Eyes, hands, collarbones...

36. Is there a place that makes you sad to return to?

Nothing came to mind and I decided not to think about it too hard lol

48. Do you think it's possible to fix a "broken" relationship?

You can see all of my vanity bookmarks here, but the required reading (imo) include:

this is the house of decay, where you ruin if you stay by @tigerlo

i had all (and then most of you, some, and now none) of you by @piratekane (who I still haven’t forgiven for this)

Everyone dancin' merrily in the new old fashioned way and Please have snow, and mistletoe by @thegirl20 

nothing but strawberries by @elenaafisher

And then, there you were by @blurryoz

Do you mean THE ONLY good thing about the month of our lord March 2020?

1. Vanessa and Charity finally being real with each other and voicing their fears

2. NOSE KISS

3. Hands-on-thighs/knees

4. All the interactions with the kids

5. Charity seducing Vanessa’s consultant (and this face)

PS: I wrote this before tonight’s ep and that last scene is definitely a fave!!

12. Best cliff-hanger?

I don’t know if it’s “the best”, but the only one I remember fully experiencing was the plane crash at the end of Grey’s Anatomy season 8. That was also the beginning of the end for my calzona heart!

16. A show that you hate to love?

There’s no other answer than Rizzoli & Isles. I was so attached to it and I watched it get progressively worse and I saw the fandom thinning out, but those characters still have such a strong hold of my heart.

18. Name an episode from a show that you will always remember?

Built to Kill from CSI. The scene where Catherine does her own rape kit will forever stick with me and it was pretty much my introduction to CSI and to TV show fandoms. This ties into questions 22...

22. Name a show that means something to you, and why?

I got into CSI pretty late (I mean, the show premiered when I was 6y/o, so...), but I was 12 and before that I wasn’t really into anything other than maybe Harry Potter. Because I got into the CSI fandom (back then we used FORUMS) I made friends I still talk to today AND it led me to my two trades. Making CSI icons/signatures for forums was how I first started using photoshop (and then I became a graphic designer) and wanting to understand interviews and translate them to Portuguese for friends was one of the things that pushed me to learn English (and now I’m an ESL teacher).

36. Favourite female director?