This is dedicated to a person that meant a lot to me.
Maybe you donāt want to talk to me.
So Iād like to at least explain in an open letter.
Even though I wanted to show you I cared, Iāve made many mistakes. Iāve learned from them. I donāt want it to be too late ā we are both only human, weāve both made mistakes. Everything you said youāve done wrong, I already forgave you for a long time ago, and I still love you as my best friend. Weāve had a closeness lasting years and the last rough patch we had isnāt worth throwing away something like that.
Iāve wanted to support you through everything in the years to come. Your words mean a lot to me and Iām sorry if it ever seemed like they didnāt. They always did. I always wanted to believe you, and I admit that some days it was harder to be reassured because Iād have other things going on.
That aside, I want to support your writing ambitions, your filming. I wanted to help you through the problems you encountered, just like you were there for me in the last month during one of the scariest times in my life, and I appreciated that more than anything.
You know me well enough to know that I wasnāt out to hurt you. I donāt try to insult you or make you feel like a bad person because I wouldnāt want to do something to consciously hurt you ā and youāre not a bad person. At all. I protected you from other people who I worried was looking for you.
One of my worst transgressions was upsetting you the way I did. Although I never intended to hurt you, I realise I still did that night, and I acknowledge that Iāve committed my most regrettable action yet.
Had I gotten the chance to relive that night again, I would have simply given you some space for a while. Things were hectic. It was not the best time and I was not in my right mind. I know you wanted to try, and I did and still do, but I never expressed that properly. I never said I wanted to end things that way. Iād lost hope for a moment, but I didnāt know it was going to result in this.
Iāve learned my lesson, and if you were to give me a chance, I would never do it again, I swear on the Bible.
Iāve never made a promise. This is the only one Iām willing to make and stick to.
Please donāt let this be a horrible end. If it does have to end, Iād like it to be a peaceful one. Please let us at least talk in a civil manner before we have to part.
I miss you. Youāre my friend, not my enemy.