#natdyrs

“i was with my girlfriend, we were driving back to campus after a celebratory dinner.. the car.. it came out of nowhere, and when i tried to get out of the way we just.. we slid and they slid and..” a lump grew in his throat as he recalled the worst night of his life. jameson closed his eyes, lulling his head back as he ran a hand through his hair. “a drunk driver hit my car.. on the passenger side. she.. was gone on impact. they said there was nothing i could have done but..” the tears pooled in the corners of his eyes, he shook his head. “the point is.. the point is the first day i saw you, em.. it was like a saw a ghost. god, i thought i was going insane.. you look.. you look so much like her. and i just.. i couldn’t stop myself. i swear it was never meant to be sinister, in any way.. i just, couldn’t stop myself from following you. it was like a ghost leading the way and i just had to find a way to you.”

“damn it, remi. you’ve got to be the most beautiful woman i have ever laid my eyes on.. you know that? you drive me absolutely mad.”

“well.. fuck. i haven’t told anyone i’m fuckin’ sober yet but i guess the cat is out of the fuckin’ bag now, huh? been about three months, hardest three months of my fucking life.”

“the first damn thing i did when the rumors of this whole quarantine thing started poppin’ up was call upon my favorite lady.. and after alexa told me to go fuck myself, i found the first instagram baddie i could in the dms and spent three nights of pure bliss at a hotel downtown.. had to get my fix and let me tell ‘ya. i was damn near the most romantic man in all of los angles for those three nights.. made sure she came first and everythin’.”

“i.. never stopped having feelings for anthony — i thought that much was obvious. that doesn’t mean we’re.. together or anything. he’s my oldest friend and that is what’s important right now. i don’t think either of us are in a place where a relationship with each other would be healthy… i have a lot of other stuff going on, things to explore.. and i’m going to focus on myself for awhile.”

i do want to say — before anything happens, or doesn’t happen, there’s a conversation i’ve gotta have with my boy, anthony. that man is my brother and that’s a bond that comes before all the rest.”

“i did.. i did break up with my girlfriend. it was just one of those things, you know. i always had the best intentions in mind, bringing her here but i guess i had an easier time convincing myself i was over what i had left behind when i wasn’t standing in the middle of it all. the truth is i left my heart here in tree hill a long time ago, my ex never had it and she deserved to know that, so i told her.. wasn’t an easy conversation, she left a couple days later. i wish her all the best, it just wasn’t right between us. when you know, you just know.”

“no..” she hesitates, before continuing. “and yes.”