#natashas365daysofwriting

Today it snowed For the first time all year And I couldn’t help but realize That I have no one to hold

And there you are still Loving me from afar I wish this heart Wasn’t so afraid  Wasn’t so hard to please I wish this heart loved you

It would be so nice To fit into those arms It would be so warm So safe I don’t know Or think that I want danger But for some reason I cannot make myself want you

I will write about you Until my last breath You deserve at least that

I am hoping now That you won’t get back Before these words Can metamorphose Inti how much I love you

I hope in this silence You hear the screams That my heart is banging out I hope the glass breaking bleeds And makes your face In the art that it is

Now back from the cold I faced Because being with you For one more moment was worth it I sit here Still tipsy from the drunk we shared Loving every inch Of your imperfect Loving every inch Of your perfect

You told me That you liked it when I swore So I will fucking Say As much shit As you fucking want right now You are my motherfucking smoke I can cough you out And want more I am as comfortable in you As I am my own skin On my good days

I started to plan Your funeral today Red roses I feel like that’s what you’d want

When I think of you I think of melted chocolate And bubbles Warm water  And ice cubes crunching between my teeth I think of looking out at winter At falling snow Cuddling myself in this empty bed Tea and wine and hot chocolate and beer

I’ve made myself a little home In your smirk In your hands And sharpened tongue I’ve become comfortable  Caressing you from afar