#natasha threads

now what? natasha hated that she could no longer do the things she once did, working a day job from early afternoon to the evening and going straight from her studio to the streets, watching over los angeles, taking down criminals and dropping them off at the doorsteps of whichever precinct happened to be close by. now... towards the middle of the second trimester, she was doing good to make it through all of her classes before growing exhausted. at least things were quieter now. there were others who did what she did... so that helped alleviate the guilt that she couldn’t fight like she used to.. at least for now... but did nothing to help her restlessness. even at home, in her personal life, things were... quieter, more boring which right now, she needed. she was not expecting a knock at her front door that afternoon, nor did she recognise the voice on the other side. she tucked a loaded handgun in the waist of her jeans, covering over with the long cardigan she was wearing before opening the door, taking in the other woman, her eyes drawing towards the badge. “yes?” she acknowledged. “what can i do for. the lapd today?”

“no, i’ve got everything handled.” but natasha didn’t have anything handled. not one bit. it was true that she and loki had managed to make some progress, but for the most part, her personal life was still a complicated mess that she alone had to sort out. and she would. eventually and in time. right now, she was ignoring it. she had to in order to keep her stress level down because apparently stress wasn’t good for unborn children even though... natasha was used to far worse than this. she still had quentin to deal with... who she was avoiding since every conversation tended to turn into an argument. what world was this that allowed natasha to have more of a civil conversation with loki, her accidental husband, than someone who had actually been her husband? “thanks though, barton. it’s good to see you again,” 

natasha hadn’t been this happy in a long time really. there were still threats to be dealt with of course, because there always would be. that was her life and her friends’ lives. they’d chosen that. beyond that... everything was good. her and loki’s businesses were still going steady, she had her friends, he had his brother back... they had their son and they were going to be remarried eventually. things were so good right now, it almost made her uneasy because... this kind of joy never tended to last. not for her. something always eventually came along to destroy it all. at the same time, she was enjoying the fact that for once, she was truly happy. it must have showed more than she realised. “you’re a part of that, you know,” she told her sister from across their bar booth where they were having a couple of drinks together... finally. “i’m glad you’re here, glad that you seem to be pretty content yourself.” she shifted around in her seat to face her fully. “i have a couple of things to ask you though. you know... nothing crazy. first of all... loki and i have asked his brother to be nik’s godfather. we’d like to ask you... to be his godmother, if you’re willing.”

only a few months ago, that promise had frustrated her, when natasha had casually dropped the fact that she was pregnant... hoping it would get loki out of her condo... their condo. now... they brought a small smile to her face and warmed her heart. things had changed so quickly. almost as quickly as when loki had regained his memories, in fact. could natasha say that she a hundred precent trusted him beyond all doubts? no. however, that was just natasha romanoff and the way she was wired... coupled with loki’s reputation and the history that they did have. she trusted him enough to not feel the need to fight and keep him out of her life and their son’s life. she trusted him enough to decide to stay... as long as he wanted her to. most of all, she trusted him with their son. “oh yeah? well, i think i could live with that,” she teased with a small smirk. “well, i can say the same. you’re stuck with a mewling quim of a mortal now. ‘cause i’m not going anywhere.”

natasha had stayed. despite everything, despite the fact that... she’d thought she’d made up her mind, despite the fact that they were in fact... former enemies... she’d stayed. things were... fine. she and loki were for the most part getting on just fine. it helped that they still had their jobs, slept in separate rooms and didn’t see much of each other despite living under the same roof. lately they didn’t behave so much as a married couple... than roommates. roommates that just so happened to be about to have a baby. they still argued... frequently because... at this point, that was just them. they got on each others’ nerves... sometimes without even trying. “oh yeah?” she said, barely glancing up from the book she was reading. “do i want to know what was going on in that dream?

“oh relax, frosty, i assure you, no one is hurting me and if anyone tries, i’m fully capable of destroying them emotionally and physically on my own,” though natasha reached out at the same time and gave loki’s hand a squeeze because... she did appreciate the sentiment. it was a testament to just how far the two of them had come. the more time they spent together, the more they actually talked... the more she found herself believing that they really could make this work. the more she found herself believing that the three of them, herself, loki, and nikolai... could be something akin to a real family. something neither herself nor loki had really had. the more she... found herself wanting that with him. it wouldn’t be perfect and they’d have to work at it every day, but no family was perfect... no family didn’t have to work at it to make it work. “so...” she found herself giving him a small, mischievous smile as she thought back to when he’d asked her the same question about barton. “is this love, loki odinson?”

natasha’s love life was not something she wanted to try and figure out right now. right now, she was trying to remain as... stress free as possible and trying to figure out the complete mess that was her entire life? would have been counterproductive. she’d been spending time with peter quill lately which... helped. it was easy to relax and have fun with him when he managed to coax her into it. she could avoid everything else and pretend her current issues didn’t exist. first of all... she and loki should probably get divorced at some point. just because she was having his son and he’d made it clear that he was going to be involved... did not mean they had to stay married when clearly neither of them really wanted to remain so. second, there was fucking quentin beck licking at her heels for... what reason exactly? she didn’t know what the fuck to expect from him and frankly right now that meant she wanted little to do with him until he became a little more... transparent. these days she wasn’t in the mood for anyone’s mind games and her patience was thin. “yeah, well... clearly losing me isn’t possible anymore in this place, considering it brought both of us back,”