#nashton!

Chapter 2

“Oh, c’mon Cal. It’s Sunday night,” I said into the phone.

“Just come out with me, Ash. I met this girl. She has friends. It’s just a small hang. Nothing major.”

“A small hang actually makes it worse, Cal. That means I’d have to interact with people.”

“Good! Less chance of you moping in the corner all night. Get dressed. We’re doing this.”

“I don’t mope…”

“Yes, you do. Look, can’t Lauren watch Cass for the night? She watched her last week.”

I rolled my eyes. “Alright,” I caved. “If Lauren’s free to watch Cass I’ll go. But only for a bit.”

“Wait, for real? Alright!”

About an hour later, we pulled up in front of a house. Music poured out from the back yard and I could hear noise of conversations, laughter, and the splashing of the pool. “You ready?” Calum asked me as we walked up.

I adjusted my hat on my head and let out my breath. “I guess.”

He turned to go towards a girl who was waving at us and smiling. “Have some fun for once, yeah?”

I looked around, watching him go off with some girl. I spotted where the drinks were and made my way over to see what they had: cheap beer, tequila, and water. I groaned and settled for a water. It was probably best if I didn’t drink anyhow.

I maneuvered through the crowd, trying not to spill my drink or theirs as people brushed past me without a care in the world. I took a deep drink from the water. “Mmm, shit! Sorry,” I quickly said as I almost collided with a girl.

“Ash?” Nic asked, clearly surprised to see me.

“Hey,” I said, trying to hide my own surprise. “Wanna drink?”

“I’m good,” she said, holding up her own water.

I half-smiled, “Cool.” I rocked back and forth on the heels of my feet trying to figure out what to say. I’d been avoiding her in the halls at home, trying to push her from my mind as best I could. But, every time I tried to sleep I just remembered the way her lips had brushed my cheek, and how badly I wanted to feel her lips on my skin again. Nic didn’t need to become attached to someone like me. I knew I was too busy to give her the kind of attention a girl like her deserved. And she was building a life for herself. She needed someone who was building a life for himself too, not some guy raising a kid. That didn’t stop me from wanting her though.

“Hey… um… you left your jacket,” she told me.

“Oh, is that where it is? Cool.”

“Yeah… um… is everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh… cuz you seem a little…”

“Nah, just busy. Sorry.”

“Okay… Well, it was good seeing you, Ash.” She smiled and walked off to find her friends.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose, cursing myself. “Whoa, who was that?” Calum asked, appearing by my side.

“Just some girl.”

“Some girl… isn’t that the girl from the bar?”

“Yeah.”

“Go talk to her! Make something happen!”

“Cal… she’s… I’m… it’s…”

“What?”

“She deserves someone better than me, okay?”

“So?”

“So, I can’t do that to her. I’m not gonna waste her time when I have literally nothing to give her.”

“Ash. For once in your life, stop doubting yourself. You have more to offer her than anyone else here. And more than that, you’re actually a damned good guy. Go. Go!”

I sighed, took another drink, and walked over to Nic. “Hey,” I said, interjecting myself in their conversation. “Can I talk to you?”

“Yeah, sure,” she smiled and followed me to a quieter part of the house. I was acutely aware of the eyes on us and the jealousy. “So, what’s up?”

“I… uh… I was wondering if you… uh…. wantedtogooutsometime?” I rushed.

“Go out? With you?”

“Yeah…”

“Sure. I’d love to.”

“Great. How’s Friday? Or whichever day works best for you.”

“How about now?” she asked coyly.

I nodded my head fast. “That works.” Then, “Did you want to get out of here? Maybe get some real drinks?”

“Yeah, sure. Are we walking?”

 I laughed at the joke, “I actually drove this time, so we can take my truck if you want.”

“Awesome. Let me just tell the girls I’m leaving.”

Yeah, I gotta tell my friend, too. Meet you out front in five?” She nodded then walked back to her friends while I scanned the crowd for Calum. “Hey, Cal. I’m leaving.”

“What? Ash…”

“It’s not like that. I got a date.”

“What? Ash!”

“Yeah, so you're good?”

“Yeah, I’ll find a way home. Have fun on your date!”

I laughed as I made my way out of the house and found Nic on the porch. “Ready?” I asked, offering her my arm.

She wrapped her arm around mine, our fingers brushing together as we interlaced them. “Yeah,” she smiled. “You know, you had me worried there for a minute. I thought I had scared you away.”

“Nah, I don’t scare easy,” I told her as I opened the door for her. We let go of each other as she got in the front seat. I gently closed the door before making my way into the driver’s seat, saying a silent prayer that I had left Cassidy’s car seat with Lauren.

“Can I ask what happened then? I mean, it’s okay if you don’t like me. Or aren’t interested in me that way or whatever.”

“No. I like you, Nic. It has nothing to do with you. I’m just…”

“Just what?”

“Alright… I’ll just put this out here and you can make your choice. I’m not good enough for you. You’re a girl who clearly has a bright future ahead of you. And I… well… I’m just… I have a five year old.”

“What?”

“I’m a single dad. I have sole custody over my daughter. So, if you’re looking for something serious, I’m probably not the guy to get serious with. That’s all.”

“And are you looking for something serious?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure what I want. But I know that I like you. And I’m willing to see where that goes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, I’m also willing to see where this goes.”

I smiled and started driving. “So, tell me about yourself. I don’t know much about you besides your name and that you moved here for grad school.”

She let out a small laugh. “Well, I’m Nic. It’s short for Nicole. I grew up in Atlanta. I went to college there. Moved here for grad school. I needed a chance of pace.”

“Nicole… Pretty. What are you going to school for?”

“Rehabilitation medicine.”

“Wow… so like sports injuries and stuff?”

“Hopefully.”

“So, do you like sports?”

“Sort of. My dad’s more of a fan than I am. But I know enough, I guess.”

“So are you more into baseball or football?”

“Both, I guess. Football is easier to follow for me, but baseball’s more exciting.”

“Well, yeah, it’s easy to follow a team that only plays 1 game a week.”

She laughed, “That’s why I like it.”

I laughed too. “That’s cool though. So, you’re an Atlanta fan?”

“Yep,” she nodded. “And you’re a…” she looked at my hat which was my Seattle Mariners cap. “Seattle fan. Go figure.”

“I could say the same, Miss Atlanta,” I teased.

In a swift motion, she took my hat off my head, flipped it frontwards and placed it on her own. She flipped down the visor and stared at her reflection, posing here and there. “Hmm… the blue’s kinda nice.”

I looked over at her, my hat low on her head. “Looks good on you,” I told her.

“Oh, now you ruined it! I can’t look good in a Seattle hat!” She laughed loudly as she handed me back my hat. I quickly flipped it backwards and slid it on. “There, much better. Although, you look good without the hat, too.”

“Yeah?” I looked at my reflection in the rearview mirror. I looked like I always did. I took off my hat and ran my hand through my hair, giving it a ruffled, “rolled out of bed” look. I shrugged. To me, hat or no hat, I looked like I always had.

“So are you just one of those guys that always looks good?”

I laughed, “I guess. Going from a high school athlete to the police academy to keeping up with a five year old will do that to a guy.”

“Well, you look amazing.”

I laughed again, feeling my cheeks turn red. “Thanks. You look amazing too. Stunning, really.”

“Well, it’s hard to help with rehab if I’m not in shape myself. Plus I was a dancer.”

“Dancer?”

“Yeah, I was on my high school and college dance teams. Did cheer and gymnastics too.”

“Wow… that’s actually really hot,” I admitted. “So what do you do for fun? Like in your downtime?”

She shrugged. “Typical stuff. Read, watch TV, listen to music. Nothing weird or super cool I guess. Why? Do you have a cool or weird hobby?”

“Kinda? I play music.”

“Like instruments? What kind?”

“Little bit of everything. Mostly guitar and drums though.”

“That’s cooler than what I do.”

“Oh, c’mon. There’s gotta be something cool you do.”

“I mean, I draw.”

“See? That’s cool! Just doodles or…?”

“Doodles mostly.”

“Very cool,” I said as I pulled my truck onto a gravel road and stopped. I shut off my engine, but left the radio playing. “This is my favorite place,” I admitted, not really sure why I was telling her that or why I took her here.

“It’s beautiful,” she admired, staring out the windshield towards Puget Sound, the sun starting to sink into the horizon.

“I like to come here when the world gets a little too fast for me. I come here and time seems to slow down.” Again, I had no idea why I was telling her these things.

“I can see why you would. I mean, yeah Atlanta is a city, but it’s still a southern town. So there’s stillness to it. Here? Well, everything seems so busy.”

I shrugged. “It’s home. Well, actually my mom and I moved here from Australia. But I was two, so I consider here home.”

“Australia?!”

I laughed. “Yup. But, like I said. I consider here to be home. Well, Monroe’s home.”

“Is Monroe far from here?”

I shook my head. “Bout a half hour drive.”

“And your mom’s still in Monroe?”

I nodded. “Yep. She’s still in the same house with my stepdad and little brother. Harry’s still in high school.”

“And your sister?”

“Lauren’s in Tacoma for college. So, she’s close too.”

“Are you close with your family?”

I nodded again, “Yeah, they help me a lot with raising Cass. My sister’s babysitting her now.”

“And Cass is your daughter? What’s that like? Being a single dad?”

“Hard,” I laughed. “Very hard. Her mom’s not in the picture, so it was hard both losing her and dealing with that on top of trying to raise a newborn. It was like hitting the jackpot on the worst possible luck.”

“That sounds rough, I’m sorry.” Her hand reached out to gently squeeze mine.

I shrugged, “It’s alright. I love being a dad. Just gets lonely sometimes.”

“You’re telling me you haven’t used the hot single dad thing to your advantage?”

I shook my head, “Not that girls haven’t shown interest, or that I haven’t been interested. It’s just hard to maintain anything real when I have to balance being a dad. And I’m not a one-night-stand kind of guy.”

“Maybe you just haven’t found the right girl.”

I shrugged. “It’s possible. But, from my experience, girls dig the hot single dad vibe until the phone rings and I have to break our dates because Cass got sick or had a nightmare. As if I could choose when and when not to be a dad. But Cass is priority number one; and they all think it’s cute until it’s not. It’s cute to be the devoted father until it ruins date night. Then it’s an inconvenience.”

“Well that’s their loss. Like you’re an adult. It’s both stupid and selfish to think that the world doesn’t exist outside the two people sharing the relationship. Outside priorities being what they are, I just want the guy to be loyal.” In the fading light, I could see her face blush red, as she ducked her head and bit her lip.

I felt my heart pick up a little speed in my chest and my own face flush. My next few choices were either going to be the best choices of my life or the worst mistake of my life. I took a breath and bet on it being the former. I gently cupped her chin in my hand, lifting her face to look at mine. “I can be loyal,” I breathed.

“Can you?” came the small murmured question as she looked deep in my eyes.

“Mhm,” I told her before kissing her. It was one of those kisses that started out soft, but turned fierce. With one hand still holding her chin, my other hand wrapped around her back, pulling her into my lap. With her straddling me, I reach for my shirt, tugging it over my head and tossing it to the side with my hat. Her fingers went up to run themselves through my hair before they traced paths across my shoulders and back. I shuddered at her touch, a touch so familiar and that made me hungry for more. It made me painfully aware of how long it had been since I had been with a woman, and how much I had missed this. One of my hands reached up her shirt to undo her bra and the other hand fiddled with the button on her jeans.

“Mmm… Ash… wait…” she said, pulling back, breathing hard.

“Everything okay?” I asked, pulling her back to me.

“I’m… I’m not ready,” she blurted, pushing herself off my lap. She bit her lip while she waited for my mind to catch up.

“Oh…” I looked at her face, half-scared that she had ruined whatever we were building, and probably half-scared she had almost hooked up with me in my truck. “It’s fine,” I told her.

“Really? It’s not because I’m a virgin or anything. Like I’ve had sex. I just… we… I’m not ready to do this with someone I barely know. Sex means something to me.”

“That’s fine,” I told her, pulling her towards me. “I like you for you, Nic. We don’t have to do anything we don’t both feel 100 percent comfortable with.”

“Really?” This time, there wasn’t as much fear in her voice as there was surprise.

“Yes,” I told her again, kissing her. “Honest. I’m fine.”

“Sorry…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” In truth, I was a little glad she had stopped us. I was clearly more willing to put myself out there than I had been until today. But, I still wasn’t sure if I was ready for what came with having sex with someone, especially since the last time had left me with a broken heart and a daughter. I reached for my shirt and pulled it back on before fiddling with the radio. The music pumping through my speakers was the only sound as we watched the sun fade into the night. She scooted over the bench seat and rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her and kissed the top of her head, breathing in her smell. “So, you dance, right?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she answered.

“Dance with me,” I told her, opening my door and getting out. “C’mon,” I coaxed, holding my hand out for her.

She giggled and got out of the truck, taking my hand. I spun her in a circle before pulling her close and started swaying us side to side. She let out another giggle, “You’re ridiculous, y’know that? And you can’t dance.”

“All I have to do is spin you in circles,” I pointed out.

“There’s more to it than that,” she laughed.

“You’re the dancer,” I conceded. Then, “Just dance with me,” I begged, pulling her close. In the headlights of my truck, underneath the stars, we danced and sang along with the radio.

~~~