#narutoangst

As you made your way across the village, you came across Lee, Ten Ten, and Neji. They seemed to be immersed in their own small conversation, and you wanted to know what they were discussing. “Hey guys, what are you all chit-chatting about?” you asked curiously. “Oh, nothing,” Lee replied, “just that the kazekage is here to visit his best friend.” “Wait, what?! Gaara’s here?!” Nodding his head, Neji simply explained that they last saw Gaara at Ichiraku’s Ramen Shop. Running towards the shop, memories of the first time you’d met Gaara played in your mind. You remember back at the chuunin exams that Gaara had been feared of simply because he fought to kill. As a kunoichi of Konoha, you were taught to resolve any altercations by talking things out, but if the other shinobi were to result to violence, you would only defend-never kill unless necessary. Everyone feared Gaara-even you. There was only one person who didn’t-Naruto Uzumaki. Naruto was the weird kid, for sure, and a jinchuuriki like Gaara, but Naruto never had the bloodlust that Gaara did.

You didn’t understand why the villagers hated Naruto. He wasn’t the cause of what had happened to the village that night, he was only a small newborn baby, but rumors spread like wildfire from person to person, making everyone turn their backs on a small orphan child. You were an orphan like Naruto as well, but luckily, your grandma was willing to take you in. Your parents had died while fending off the Nine-tailed fox when Naruto was born. You couldn’t blame Naruto though. Your grandma explained to you all the details of the night it happened. You were only a few months old, your parents were shinobi who were protecting the village. They trusted your grandma to take care of you before they went to attempt to fend off the Nine-tailed fox. As a young child, you didn’t like Naruto either, mainly because you were scared of him and the stories and rumors people would spread about him being a demon or that the night would be back the moment he’d gotten mad. You didn’t understand why people were so mean to him as well. He was a child just like you and the others, yet the villagers treated him badly.

One day, you were walking through town with a few of your friends while they were making remarks about Naruto and that he was an orphan because of his selfish needs and that his parents had killed themselves because he was an unwanted child. You didn’t laugh with your so-called friends though, you actually felt bad that this young boy was being hated on. You saw the sadness in his eyes, the tears that were forming in his eyes, and the fist by his side. Your grandma happened to be walking by as well, and had called for you to go home with her. That was the first time you felt a sort of sadness for Naruto even though you didn’t know him. Later that night while making dinner with your grandma, you didn’t know what to say to her. Your grandma was quieter than usual that night. While seating yourself across the table from her, the quietness in the ear was deafening. “Grandma, are you okay?” you asked. Before her spoon reached her mouth, she brought the spoon back down to her bowl. She asked you a question, a simple one in fact, “why did you not stand up for that boy?” “Grandma…is it true that his parents didn’t want him? Why are people so scared of him?” was all you could ask your grandma before she told you about that night.

She began by telling you of how Naruto’s dad was hokage, and his mother was the jinchuuriki before he was. Then onto how your parents were killed because of their loyalty to protect and defend the village. Your grandma knew of the details and horrors because she was one of the skilled shinobi who had simply retired due to her old age. Although she was old, she was close with the Third Hokage who had visited with your grandma a few times before. You’d seen him around more as a child, but less and less the older you grew. With tears in her eyes, your grandma asked you, “If someone said that you were an orphan because your parents were dead, wouldn’t you be sad as well?” That was when you decided to befriend Naruto. You’d left your friend group and started to play with Naruto instead. Eventually, you and Naruto became the inseparable two. Although all eyes were on you throughout the village, you grew up with Naruto, building a friendship with him that would, in your eyes, last a lifetime.

Your friendship with Naruto then brought you both to Gaara. He’d become your friend after his fight with Naruto at the chuunin exams. Eventually, the three of you had become inseparable and were only separated by the distance between Konoha and the Sand village. Because the village of the Sand and Konoha were allies after the incident at the chuunin exams, Gaara and his siblings were the shinobi in charge of bringing messages or goods to Konoha. While they stayed for a week or so, you, Gaara, and Naruto would go around Konoha having fun and laughing at weird things all three of you found amusing. Everyone would always make faces and whisper amongst each other at the fact that you, a regular kunoichi was hanging around not one but two jinchuuriki, but you didn’t mind. As your grandma had taught you, “if you feel like it’s the right thing to do, then do it and don’t look back,” so looking back you never did.

After catching your breath, you peeked inside Ichiraku. Naruto had already beat you to meeting up with Gaara. You huffed as you saw them both laughing together at something Naruto had done. Hearing you behind them, they turned around to look at you. “Y/N, I was just about to look for you! Look who’s here—” was all Naruto could say before you pointed your finger at Gaara. Scared out of his wits, Gaara sat there silently. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going to be visiting?!” you yelled while Naruto simply sank into his seat. With a smile on his face, Gaara explained that it was a bit last minute, and being Kazekage had been a bit rough on him since he was only beginning and was still figuring things out. “That doesn’t give you an excuse!” you continued on. “Okay, okay, Y/N, lesson learned,” Naruto said while pulling out a chair for you to sit in between them both. Throughout the day, the three of you spent time walking around the village and reminisced every memory you all had of your younger days.

Eventually, you all ended up at a river, south of Konoha, at the request of Naruto. You all had invited the other classmates to join you as well since it was a popular spot during the summer. Swimming was fun, but exhausting, so you decided to rest with Temari while sunbathing for some time. “You know… my brother’s not usually talkative with other girls other than me.” “Does that make you jealous?” you teased her. “No…” she said before continuing, “I just think he might like you more than just a friend…” “What do you mean?” you asked curiously. “I think he LIKES you likes you, Y/N,” she said with her eyes shut underneath her sunglasses. Your chest suddenly tightened. You had thought about all the times Gaara had been so kind to you, but you were oblivious to his attempts. With a small o formed on your lips, Temari answered your own thoughts. “But don’t worry, I’m sure he’d make you a happy girl, he’s doing his best, Y/N-” What she didn’t know was that you weren’t in love with Gaara. You were in love with Naruto. You only saw Gaara as your friend, and you knew that Naruto was going to be the one guy who you’d forever be in love and inseparable with. You tried to keep it on the down low, and the only other person who knew your feelings was your grandma. Temari interrupted your thoughts with a simple, “—just don’t break my little brother’s heart.” That night, you tossed and turned while thinking of how to approach Gaara about what Temari had said. No matter how tired you were, you couldn’t sleep peacefully. Your grandma had heard you tossing and turning from her room, so she came in to check on you. Asking you what was wrong, you explained your situation to her. You cried as you told her that you didn’t want to choose. You wanted to stay friends with Gaara while loving Naruto, but you didn’t know that Gaara had feelings for you until now. Holding you until you fell asleep that night, your grandma couldn’t help but try to help you understand that you’d have to choose one day.

The next morning, you, Gaara, and Naruto were set off to your last adventure before the sand siblings were to return home. Lord Third needed to speak to Naruto about his last mission, so you and Gaara decided to meet with him later. Walking along the path towards the stone faces of Konoha, you were trying to make conversation with Gaara without being awkward and weirded out by the fact that he liked you. You both stopped at the top, overlooking Konoha. Before you could say anything, Gaara blurted out, “I like you, Y/N… I just wanted to let you know before I left back to my village.” You sat there quietly, while tears started forming in your eyes. One way or another, you couldn’t lead your friend on, making him believe that you had the same feelings even though you didn’t. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? I—” “I don’t like you,” you said, cutting Gaara’s question off, “I only see you as a friend, and I don’t think you should like me. You need to go find someone else to like, Gaara. I’ll always be your friend, and I’ll always be here to support you, but I like Naruto. I don’t like you the same way. Naruto is the guy I want to marry, not you…” While sitting in an awkward silence, Gaara sighed and said, “I know you like Naruto, I just thought I had a chance…” “I’m sorry, Gaara, but please give your heart to someone else who deserves it. I can’t give you the love you’ve given me. I’m sorry,” you explained to Gaara. When you looked up, Gaara wasn’t looking at you, instead looking over Konoha. Nodding his head in agreement with what you said, he simply said, “you’re right.” “I’m so so sorry, Gaara. I like Naruto, and I want to be your friend as well. I just don’t want this to sever this friendship we’ve built over the years.” Turning his head with his soft green eyes and a smile, Gaara held your hand and said, “It’s okay, I’ll be okay, Y/N.” That was a lie. You knew he was hurt, but Gaara was always the type of friend to put other’s needs before his own. He wasn’t selfish, but you only saw him as a friend.