#narobabble

Sometimes... Sometimes I have these internal "arguments" in my mind that make no sense at all and they always involve something about me or the things that I like. Things that in a way define me. It doesn't feel EXACTLY like an argument, but it'd be easier to explain it as if it was. One side (The side I want to be on because it is what I like or agree with) uses a lot of reason and explanation. This side makes the most sense. The other is sort of the opposite. This would be the person that repeats the same point as if it was some sort of chant. This side's point is usually something incorrect. fucked up, closed-mined, etc. This is the side I obviously never want to agree with and never have but I often fear that I'll only disagree with it because I know it would be fucked up if I did. Eventually, I side with the right one after I distract myself for a while or if I get the feeling that the things I enjoy usually give me but this is rare because if I try to think about instances where they've made me happy before or try to make new ones, I get annoyed because I'm prevented from enjoying it by the annoying, asshole side and it turns into be telling myself I like it a ton instead of actually feeling that way. I may still sort of like it but not as much as I would on any other day. My mind's been doing this since I was about 7 with random beliefs I have, people I love or things I like.