#naguaraquerandom

in ref to my tags on this post

ok no but LITERALLY i could write an entire thesis on the relationship buck has with fatherhood. when chris and buck are introduced in 2x03, i think it's really easy to dismiss the look buck gives chris/eddie as just like. a friend being glad his friend is reunited with his son. but literally everything we know about buck's relationship with his parents refute that wholly, because the look buck gives them isn't just "i'm so glad chris is safe" it's also "oh, so that's what a good father looks like"

and like, we see from the moment buck becomes a part of the diaz's lives that he's making the genuine effort his parents never made with him and maddie. he enlists carla's help, he makes sure bobby is okay with chris being at the station, he gives and he gives and he gives because no one afforded him that growing up besides his sister.

100% buck has always felt like he's been loved despite not because. despite him being reckless, despite him being headstrong, despite him sometimes making the wrong choices. but buck-- buck loves christopher because. because he accepts buck without question, because he makes people happy, because he made eddie into the father and man he is. buck loves christopher because he's chris, not despite that

and that's only amplified during 4x14 when buck takes care of christopher while eddie is in the hospital. because buck had literally no reason to need to do that. carla, abuela, pepa--a host of other people could have been the ones to take care of chris, to support him while his dad is away. but buck chooses to, he chooses to take the "harder job" and be with chris, because he knows that's what eddie would want. buck doesn't even know about the will at this point, so he's just proving the fact that he loves chris because. and not because he's legally obligated to, either, but because he loves chris. buck is going through something fucking awful, had to watch his best friend get shot in front of him, and instead of choosing to look after himself in that moment, he chooses to look after the kid that he loves like his own.

oh hey i found something you and lwj have in common 

omg at first i was like. i don't think i actually have sweetheart in exes to lovers amnesia (yet) and THEN i remembered that they actually get together in the very beginning before the amnesia happens, so it is your lucky day!!!

They make out on the couch for a little longer, sharing long, lazy kisses that make Buck feel like there’s an electric current running down his spine, along the path that Eddie’s tracing with his fingers. Something simmers low in Buck’s belly, something that feels a little like guilt, but it’s drowned out by the feeling of Eddie’s tongue in his mouth, the hot, hard line of Eddie’s body against his.

Eventually, they migrate to Eddie’s bedroom, stripping from their t-shirts and pants until they’re just in their boxers, and they tangle together on the bed, fitting together seamlessly. Eddie attaches his mouth to the hollow of Buck’s throat and sucks, high enough that Buck won’t be able to hide it in the morning. A noise punches out of Buck—ah ah ah—and Eddie grins into his skin, wide enough that Buck can feel his teeth next to the delicate skin of his Adam’s apple.

“Sweetheart,” Buck whispers into the thin air between them. He doesn’t know what he’s trying to say, really, but he slips his fingers beneath the elastic of Eddie’s boxers, presses them into the divots at the base of his spine.

Eddie rocks against him, slow, drawn-out, says. “What do you want, baby?”

“You,” Buck says, “just you.”