“ABSURD!! KING OBERON IS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY WHO IS THIS VILLAIN”

!!!!

“This shite came from the mansion.”

“We were sent along on ae quest tae find powerful weaponry, from ae trusted ally— But the whole thing was ae massive trap.”

“We found these fancy robes before entering that cursed place, an’ like ae twat, I put ‘em on. Turns out, they’re called ‘Robes of the Faerie Queen.”

“We stepped through ae faerie ring tae enter the mansion, that split us all up. I got tossed on ae throne, declared Queen an’ the fuckers havenae left me alone since.”

“Can I hear—“

“HOMYGODDNESSMYQUEENNNNNNNNHOWCOULDYOUABANDONOURBEAUTIFULKINGLIKETHISSSSSSS”

“—FOUND ‘EM”

“WHAAAAT”

This is Pat George’s Māori Mihi which is a greeting/Introduction.  A Māori Mihi is often recited before or during a pōhiri ‘welcome ceremony’.  A person stands up and introduces themselves by telling those present about their whakapapa ‘genealogy – lineage or ancestry’. 

Translated: My mountain is Puketohunoa. My river is Kawakawa. Taumārere (Northland) is my homeland. Ngāti Manu is my tribe. My canoe is Ngatokimatawhaorua. Ngāpuhi is my extended tribe. Karetu is my Marae (meeting grounds/community). 

Pomare is my Chief. Ada Timperly (Johnston) is my Grandmother. My name is Pat George. Matakohe in the Kaipara is where I live with my family.