is it really a diary if you only use it to cry about the same guy?
i dont like this, feels like im in a constant loop
i do feel more understood now though
i felt genuine joy while explaining it, i felt great
but also Alien
and feelings, feeling
damn
feelings
it hurts, i do feel jealous, because i know believe (what an optimist) this closes a door, maybe im not losing something i had, but im losing one posibility
you really love to hang on every loose thread, he never mentioned anything about him being interested, just open to hearing about it
and still
feels like a promise
like a distant possibility
and why oh why had he had to tell me "i think you would like her" "she is like you" (she said "she is gorgeous") queue Mitski SHOULD'VE BEEN ME (im not gorgeous though) (and i would hqve never been able to give him the monogamy he wants)
what else to write here? a defense of the polyamory? the why did they misunderstand me cry?
for what?
im not happy
im not sad
maybe im both
no es un cuchillo caliente que quema mi pecho, sino que el nudo indivisible de la tristeza de ser rechazada
el silencioso grito de haber llegado muy tarde, muy temprano, nunca lista
No eres mi pertenencia, No eres mi propiedad
Y
Sin Embargo
Te deseeo poseer, tu mente tu alma tu corazon
validame quiereme rompeme
porque el dolor de un quiebre es mejor que la nada del olvido
