fic summary: Brooke Lynn is a 23 year old graduate writing boring, uninspired pieces for the fashion department of a newspaper and living in a city all her friends have moved away from. Silky is living at her parentsâ house and spends her days applying for jobs sheâs promptly rejected for. Nina and Monet are struggling through their first year as teachers whilst being sickeningly adorable girlfriends. Akeria is pursuing her dream of being a badass lawyer, even if her masterâs degree is slowly crushing her soul. Plastique is acting like the second coming of Paris Hilton, so nothing there has changed. Scarlet is overworked and Yvie is underpaid and their relationship isnât all it appears from the outside.
And Vanessa? Vanessa is nowhere to be seen.
(A story about a holiday, a breakup, friendships and relationships in a post-graduate world, careers, navigating life after university, figuring out what it means to be an adult, and coming to terms with the fact that we really are not nineteen forever.)
a/n: welcome to the sequel to Not Nineteen Forever!!! i should say itâs not *~ mandatory ~* to have read the original before this but itâs encouraged huehue xo hope u enjoy and please feel free to reblog, like and send love!!
***
Brooke felt the all-encompassing sense of dread wash over her as her alarm went off, the sounds of the radio that were gradually fading in doing nothing to make the experience of waking up for another day of work any more palatable. She groaned loudly as she stretched, her arms flying out to the side and hitting the edge of the double bed. Brooke starfished a little, stretching her legs out as long as they would go and trying to put off getting up and showered for as long as she could.
Rolling over in bed she reached for her phone and stopped when she saw the rose-gold rectangular frame beside her on the bedside table. It caught her by surprise every day, almost a sort of routine in itself. A picture of her and Vanessa from when they first moved in, standing at the doorway having just popped a bottle of champagne. Brookeâs face was in a funny contorted sort of smile as she yanked the cork out of the bottle and Vanessa was clapping her hands in excitement, a brilliant white moonbeam painted across her face. Brooke remembered the day well. Monet had taken the photo with Nina beside her, both of them still in their work clothes after theyâd visited straight from a hard day full of teaching. Akeria, Silky, Plastique, Scarlet and Yvie had all been inside, shuffling through the huge variety of Dominoâs pizza boxes that had just arrived at their door like a deck of cards. That night had been so special. Whatever had happened since then, Brooke would probably treasure that memory forever.
In spite of herself she smiled as she looked at the photograph, then turned her attention to her phone screen.
No notifications. She didnât know why she expected anything more.
With a cloud over her head that matched the ones in the uncharacteristically grey June sky, Brooke brushed her teeth and peeled her pyjamas off before stepping into the shower and adjusting the dial to somewhere between tepid and warm. Vanessaâs shower gel sat in the corner, the tropical fruit and mint one with little tiny sloths all over the front. Brooke found herself hurting as she looked at it, still loath to use it as she took her own from the opposite side and splatted a huge dollop into her shower puff. Sometimes she used it indulgently, like a secret she shared with herself. She didnât know whether sheâd buy more when it ran out. That was something she still needed to think about.
Once she was clean Brooke briskly dried herself with a towel, sitting on the edge of the bed wrapped in it as she carefully blow-dried out her hair. She picked out her outfit: smart black work trousers with a fabric belt that pulled her in at the waist, a black and white patterned shirt, black stiletto heels. As she painted some minimal makeup on her face in the hope it would make her look less like a sleep-deprived zombie and more like she had her life together in some way, Brooke checked the clock and cursed as she realised she was running behind.
Leaving lipstick for the moment, she grabbed her bag, shoved her feet in a pair of black pumps, and left hurriedly for the train. Breakfast wasnât a priority; she knew she could grab an iced coffee and a croissant from the cafe in the station in between changing trains, as it took her two to get into work. It was times such as these that she wished she knew how to drive like Monet, Plastique and Akeria, or had learned since uni like Nina or Scarlet. But then again, cafe food for breakfast was one of the very few perks of public transport.
Brooke eventually arrived at the huge concrete block with windows that held her offices, taking the elevator up to the fifth floor, clocking in, shooting a lacklustre âhiâ to the girls she sometimes chatted to and settling herself in at her desk. As office positions went, Brooke supposed it wasnât awful- it was beside the window looking out onto the streets of the city below and it provided some much-needed light to her day. Logging on to her work laptop, she checked her emails (one from her boss about the article due for Friday, and one from Cheryl about money for flowers for somebody going on maternity leave that sheâd never met or heard of and might not even have worked there).
Her working day had started.
University hadnât prepared Brooke for graduate life. It hadnât prepared her for the fact that friends moved away for jobs and houses and flats, internships and apprenticeships and postgrads and masters. It hadnât prepared her for the fact that her group chat, once flooded with about a hundred messages if she so much as left it for five minutes, gathered dust as everyoneâs lives took over. It hadnât prepared Brooke for the feeling of missing out on somethingâŚChrist knows what. Perhaps living, making memories instead of simply swiping through ones already made on a Saturday night spent alone in bed with a bottle of wine to herself. It hadnât prepared her for the yearning, the regret at having taken those days for granted when they were the happiest of her life and she hadnât even realised it. If Brooke had known how soul-crushingly boring her life would be once she got that rolled-up piece of paper in a little tube she wouldâve been dragging the girls out every single night. The all-encompassing sadness and longing for something better hit her harder on days like these, sepia ones with big clouds that hung ominously in the sky but never gave her the satisfaction of raining. She supposed that feeling had only been exacerbated byâŚ
She didnât need to remind herself of that.
It was ten oâclock in the morning and Brooke was staring out of the small office window stupefied with boredom when her phone vibrated. She jumped, pouncing on it as she always did whenever a notification went off. Her phone hadnât been on silent for a full month. It hadnât been the person sheâd wanted or expected, but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.
Silk: HEY GIRL LONG TIME NO SPEAK! IâM GONNA BE IN TOWN THIS AFTERNOON FOR AN INTERVIEW BUT IâLL BE FREE AFTER AND IâVE GOT A COUPLE HOURS TO KICK ABOUT UNTIL MY TRAIN. YOU WANNA GRAB DINNER? XXXXXXXXX
Brooke frantically made plans as if she was under a time limit, as if the moment would slip through her fingers like sand in an hourglass. She suggested some restaurants that she knew wouldnât eat into either of their fragile graduate salaries and they settled on an Italian in the city centre, where the portions were big and the meals were tasty.
Brooke spent the rest of the day looking forward to meeting her friend. She couldnât remember the last time sheâd seen Silky. Maybe it had been as long ago as New Year. Brooke smiled as she remembered the occasion; all of them cramming into Scarlet and Yvieâs flat to see in the year. Silky and Akeria had got too drunk off prosecco and screamed along to JLS, Scarlet and Yvie had both made a buffet to rival a hotelâs, and Nina, Monet, Vanessa and Brooke had all been tangled up in an almost relationship-ruining game of Articulate. Plastique had brought her new girlfriend Naomi to introduce to everyone and the girl had looked ever so slightly alarmed by the sheer chaos of everyone put together, but sheâd laughed and joined in all the same.
That had been another happy memory. Those seemed to be hard to come by these days.
Work dragged. It always did. Brooke managed to write three sub-par articles that she sent to her editor at the end of the day anyway because hell, it was their job to turn carbon into diamonds. So when she hopped on the train back into the city, Brooke felt a little buzz in her veins that she hadnât felt in a while.
It took her until she saw Silky standing outside the restaurant- hair in a bun full of flyaways, eyebrows still Sharpied on, in a pair of smart trousers and a floaty top- that Brooke realised that part of the reason she was so excited was because sheâd been so lonely for such a long time. Well, only really a month, but it felt like a year. It had taken her living on her own to realise just how boring her life was without all her friends so constantly part of it, and now they all had their own lives and schedules it only served to show Brooke how empty her own was withoutâŚ
Well. Without her.
As soon as Silky looked up from her phone and spotted Brooke her face lit up, and she fixed her with a smile and a screech that Brooke never thought she would have missed hearing but by God, she had.
âBROOKE LYNN!â she screamed, followed by lots of squealing and babbling as she wrapped the taller girl in a tight hug and refused to let go for at least twenty seconds. Brooke didnât mind and she found herself clinging back, Silky suddenly the loudest anchor sheâd never known she needed. When Silky finally pulled away she grabbed Brooke by both wrists, shaking her back and forth a little. âOh my God, BITCH! Oh my God. FUCK! Itâs so good to see you. How the fuck are you?â
Brooke appreciated that- Silky asking how she was. Yvie tiptoed around Brookeâs feelings when they texted and Brooke tiptoed around her and Scarletâs perfect domestic bliss, both of the subjects too touchy for Brooke and the pair of them instead choosing to communicate via meme. Nina barely had time to breathe these days let alone text back, and PlastiqueâŚwell, Plastique wouldnât get it.
None of them would, she supposed.
âIâmâŚIâm surviving! Iâm being an adult, I guess, and this is what life is now. Howâre you?â Brooke swiftly moved the conversation on, and Silky took the hint and dropped both her wrists, pushing open the door.
âIâm on cloud fuckinâ nine girl. Câmon, letâs get some vino anâ Iâll catch you up on the world of Ms. Ganache! Think of it as a free episode of the reality TV show that is my life.â
âLetâs be real, Silk. If anyoneâs lifeâs like a reality TV show right now, itâs mine,â Brooke raised her eyebrows, not quite committing to her own attempt at being lighthearted and instead couldnât have sounded more bitter if sheâd eaten an entire lemon with its rind on.
Silky, for her part, shrugged and let out a small sigh. âYou ainât wrong, girl, you ainât wrong. But the offer of wine still stands, so letâs get sat. Where the damn hell is a waiter?â
They eventually got shown to their table and the conversation flowed frantically and excitedly, mirroring the wine. Silky filled Brooke in on every last detail of her life- most importantly, Brooke thought, was that Silkyâs parents who she was back living with had adopted a cocker spaniel puppy called Pooch. Graduate life had been tough on Silky; she still hadnât managed to get a job and so therefore couldnât afford to rent a flat, so sheâd moved back to her sleepy and uninspiring hometown. Living with her parents, sheâd groaned, was beginning to chip away at her; the constant pressure they put on Silky to find a job, move out, get a boyfriend, and lose weight was beginning to grow wearing in the extreme, and Brooke didnât blame her for being fed up.
âYou know youâre always welcome to come chill at mine, you know. If itâs getting particularly rough,â Brooke suggested not-quite-casually, glad of the fact that loneliness didnât have a scent because if it did sheâd be reeking of it.
Silky gave a bashful smile, looking down at her half-eaten plate of spaghetti bolognaise in front of her. âYouâre a doll, B, but you know I canât do an hour on the train any time my Mama tuts at me buying a size XL of anything. In fact therapyâs probably cheaper than a train ticket here but realistically I donât got the money for either, soâŚthanks, but in the words of Simon Cowell, issa no from me.â
âThatâs okay. I get it, Mums are simultaneously the worst and the best people,â Brooke pulled a face. Thinking about her Mum made her wonder when the last time she texted her was. She felt a little ashamed for not knowing off the top of her head. âBut hey, at least you got that interview, right? How did it go?â
âAlright,â Silky muttered in a non-committal way. It was the most un-Silky response Brooke thought sheâd ever seen her friend give. It was weird and unpleasant; the Silky from uni wouldâve yelled the place down about how sheâd aced it, how theyâd make her the chief editor right there and then, how she could write an article for them entirely in Wingdings and itâd still be the best thing theyâd read all day.
Seemingly picking up on Brookeâs discomfort, Silky gave a small laugh. âI donâ know, booâŚI used to be so sure of myself, I used to be so set in the fact that writing was somethinâ I was good at. When I was a kid I used to write these fuckinâ huge storiesâŚpages anâ pages long that my teachers would pull big overexaggerated smiley faces at anâ squeal over anâ put big glittery star stickers on. I thought I was somethinâ special. Anâ then uni, yâknowâŚI was a small fish in a big pond- hell, a big fish in a big pond- but I still thought I was the shit even when I got bad grades. I thought my markers just didnât get it, that they were the ones that were wrong. But now itâs likeâŚâ
Silky heaved a sigh and put her fork and spoon together neatly on top of her half-full plate. ââŚI canât even get a job at a fuckinâ local rag, so why the hell am I even tryinâ with the big city offices?â
There was something about it all that made Brookeâs heart break all over again, the way that life after uni had worn Silky down to the extent where she didnât even know if she was good at anything any more, didnât have much visible self-worth left. Silky had always been the heart and soul of their group; she, Akeria and Vanessa, and in the time it had taken between now and graduation Akeria had become the polar opposite of Silky- so completely embroiled in her quest to become a barrister that she barely had time to reply to any of them any more.
And VanessaâŚwell. She knew where Vanessa was. Or rather, she didnât.
Greece was a big country.
âYouâre trying because youâre Big Silky Nutmeg Motherfucking Ganache,â Brooke said with a determination sheâd not felt in a while. âCome on Silk, youâre you. If grad life has broken you then what the fuck hope is there for any of us?â
( Any of us sounded better than me , Brooke thought.)
âKikiâs doinâ okay for herself,â Silky shrugged, her downtrodden tone counteracted by the way she picked up her fork again and twirled a single strand of spaghetti around it, eating it once she was finished speaking.
âKikiâs vagina-deep in a hellish and all-consuming masters degree thatâs probably eating her up from the inside out just as much as everybody elseâs jobs are. I mean, are any of us doing anything we actually like?â
âNina anâ Monet? Theyâda quit by now if they hated teaching so much.â
âNina West would join the fucking scientologists and stick it out just so she could say she didnât give up. Sheâs the final boss of the term mama didnât raise a quitter . Theyâre having a hard time, Silk. We all are. Itâs just tough because weâre all so busy and shit at keeping in touch that everybody thinks each othersâ lives are perfect butâŚtheyâre really not.â
âYvie and Scarlet seem pretty happy.â
Brookeâs face took on an involuntary look of distaste, so irritated and bitter was she at the image of them and their perfect flat and their perfect jobs and their perfect coupley life. âTheyâll have something up, nobodyâs life is that perfect. Maybe their relationshipâs secretly falling apart orâŚsomething, fuck, I donât know.â
There was a beat of silence in which Brooke finished the last little pocket of tortellini sheâd ordered and Silky twirled another mouthful of spaghetti around her fork. She chewed, then shrugged thoughtfully, her head tilting a little. âYâknow we should go on holiday. Fuck all this shit off for a week, get away from it all.â
Brookeâs eyebrows raised in appreciation of the idea. She and the girls had never been away together before and the prospect of lying on a beach doing absolutely nothing under the blazing sun was an inviting one. âWhat, a girlsâ trip? Like in Sex and The City?â
âMhm. âCept we go on an all-inclusive to the Med âstead of Mexico âcause ainât none of us can afford that shit.â
âExcept Plastique.â
âTrue. Fuck that bitch. She could prolly buy Mexico.â
Brooke laughed and for the first time in a good few months she felt a little flicker of excitement lick at her heart, so much so that she could see her pulse race at her wrist. She couldnât stop the smile that spread across her face. âOh my God. Iâm so in. Letâs do it.â
âWe have to get all the girls on board, though. Otherwise there ainât no point.â
âDefinitely. Where should we go? Spainâs always good.â
Silky had her phone out and was typing furiously. She paused as something presumably loaded, then her face lit up. âIf we go the week after Nina anâ Monet finish up school for Summer we can get flights to Crete for ÂŁ20 return.â
âTwenty, what the fuck? That canât be right,â Brooke screwed up her face in disbelief, and Silky cocked an eyebrow at her as she showed her the proof on her screen. Conceding, Brooke shrugged. âThatâs so good. I donât want to know what that planeâs like though. They probably just stuff you all into a tin can and ping you into the air with a giant rubber band.â
Silky howled with laughter and thumped the table so hard that the wine sloshed about in their glasses, little tiny red tsunamis. As Brooke snorted in response purely to Silkyâs own mirth, a small thought set off a little drip of dread that threatened to put out the excitement that had only just begun to burn in her chest.
âWhere is Crete again?â
Silky let out an unimpressed breath from her nose. âBitch, you got all the geography skills of a Love Island contestant. Itâs just off the Greek coast. Kinda near Turkey too, but itâs Greece.â
Brooke felt her heart drop, Alton Towers Oblivion all over again. She blinked quickly, tried to hide her discomfort. âWell, weâre not going there.â
Silky gave a small sigh, a little hint of resignation or long-suffering to it that Brooke didnât appreciate. But when she reached over the table and patted her hand on top of Brookeâs, she felt a little bit more understood, a little bit more validated.
âB, Greece is a big place.â
It was the exact same thing Brooke herself had thought earlier, except now it didnât seem true. Now, with the prospect of going there, it seemed like the tiniest microcosm of society. The world was simultaneously too big and too small, and Brooke felt the cold drip in her heart get worse. âSilkyâŚâ
âLook. We ainât exactly gonna pick the same place sheâs at, are we?â
Brooke put her head in her hands and sighed. âSheâs not there anymore.â
âWhat?â
âI phoned the hotel a week ago to try and speak to her. I was going to fly out, try and talk to her and fix things. They said she didnât work there anymore. So I donât even know where she is at all.â
Silky huffed, frowning and concerned. âIâm sorry, Brooke, this shit mustâve been hell.â
âYouâve got no idea.â
There was a pause as Silky pushed her food around her plate. âCreteâs small, but it ainât that small. We still got a one in a million chance of bumpinâ into her if we go.â
âThatâs still too small for my liking. Both the island and the chances.â
âAight, one in a billion. Trillion. Point is, it ainât gonna happen. Anâ besidesâŚâ Silky waggled her eyebrows, flashing her phone screen at Brooke again. âTwenty pounds for the first week of the school holidays. This shitâs like gold dust.â
Brooke smiled slowly in spite of herself. Maybe Silky was right. And maybe it would be fun to swan around Greece, eat seafood and pretend to be in some knockoff version of Mamma Mia. Scratch that, it would be fun. Sheâd get to spend a week surrounded by her friends in the sun, which was what she badly needed at the moment.
Brooke was nodding before she knew it. âOkay, fine. Crete it is.â
âYES, bitch!â Silky cheered, loud enough to be heard by the entire restaurant and possibly the chefs in the kitchen too. âNow letâs get dessert. All this wine needs soaked up by a big slice of sticky toffee puddinâ.â
It was easy to feel optimistic with Silky back being her loud and just-the-right-side-of-obnoxious self, and with a plate of tiramisu in front of her. But after theyâd finished up, paid their bill and sheâd hugged Silky goodbye at the train station, Brooke found the endorphins wearing off as she got back to her dark flat and into her cold bed. Maybe it was because she was finally coming down from the high of meeting up with a beloved friend, maybe it was because she knew she had another monotonous, greyscale day of work to get through tomorrow.
Or perhaps, Brooke thought as she turned over in bed, caught sight of the familiar rose-gold frame and blew it a kiss, she was simply missing her girlfriend.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
âI really want to kiss you,â Yvie said almost inaudibly and fuck, shit, that was out in the open and Scarlet felt as if she was plummeting through the ice sheet even though nothing had gone wrong. She only left a second between Yvieâs words and her response, a hopeful but afraid little whisper in the silence of her room.
WELL it was nice knowing y'all, i died and went to gay heaven, @artificialortega killed me: Do Not prosecute, she was only feeding the gays it's alright
Also, Ortega if you need a favor, money or idk a kidney, whatever you want really, i got you fam đâ that chapter was đŻđ
Not Nineteen Forever (21) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex) - Ortega
a/n: omg iâm emotional. guys, welcome to the last chapter of n19f. this fic has been the absolute best fun to write and i truly love these girls and the journey theyâve been on so much. big big huge thanks and love to every single person thatâs ever left a note, hit reblog or left me lovely anons, DMs, comments or tags, theyâve all meant the absolute world to me and i love u so much. obviously i canât let things go, so keep an eye out for some form of sequel coming in the next few months or so (patience is a virtue xo). for one last timeâŚâŚ.letâs go, lesbians!!!!!!!
please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!
tw: bit of weed in this one. no zoos, dw xo
summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.
last chapter: the girls all went to the beach, Scarlet and Yvie made plans for after uni, and Scarlet got the degree classification she so desperately wanted.
this chapter: itâs Brookeâs graduation day.
***
Brooke looked around at the chaos that was their kitchen. The kitchen utensils (which were all Ninaâs that she and Yvie had shamelessly used as if they were their own over the 2 years theyâd lived together) were wrapped up in bubble wrap and packed neatly into cardboard boxes which sat on top of the dining table. Yvieâs kitchenware- a blue bowl with a chip out of it, a huge white plate, a Tigger mug, and a mismatched fork, knife and spoon- had been inelegantly packed into an orange Sainsburyâs bag and left on the counter. Brooke had already packed up her own belongings and had moved them into a corner of her room so they wouldnât take up space in the already-tiny kitchen. All their store cupboard food was in the process of being packed up for the foodbank, which was inevitably going to be flooded with the discarded super noodles, tinned soups and flavoured teas of the migrating tenants of student flats.
Yvie let out a snort from her position in front of their food cupboards, and Brookeâs heart gave a twinge at seeing them so empty. Top shelf had been hers: pasta, rice, stock cubes, and emergency maple syrup tin. The middle shelf was Ninaâs: loaf of white bread, tins of tuna, ryvita, breadsticks, crisps. And Yvieâs food had occupied the bottom shelf: chocolate digestives, Ainsely Harriott cous cous, peanut butter, and sour patch kids. All gone. Except, Brooke noticed, for a jar of Marmite which had sat on the middle shelf and that Yvie was holding in her hand.
âWhose was the Marmite?â she asked, an amused tone to her voice. Nina shrugged from her position on the sofa.
âIâve never once eaten Marmite.â
âItâs on your shelf, girl,â Yvie shrugged, her eyebrows questioning. Nina gave another shrug.
âI know. Itâs always lived there. I swear to God it just turned up one day and I left it there. Thought it was one of yours because Christ knows youâre both too lazy to put it on your own damn shelves,â Nina reprimanded them both. Brooke laughed.
âYou know youâre going to regret being so mean to us when you donât live with us any more and weâre adults and it takes 9 months to clear our schedules for one singular coffee,â she raised her eyebrows at her flatmate as Nina pouted and let out a groan, held out her arms for a hug which Brooke fell into.
âDonât! This is already too heartbreaking, I canât believe we only have two days left here.â
âI canât believe weâre actually organised with this moving out process.â
âI canât believe we have a phantom jar of Marmite that nobodyâs claiming,â Yvie piped up, peering at the jar with interest. âBrooke, you like this shit, right?â
âMarmite is Satanâs black fecal matter and Iâm offended you think I eat it,â she deadpanned, shifting to get comfy in Ninaâs lap whilst attempting to be as inconvenient as possible to her friend.
âGet the hell off me. Only my girlfriend is allowed to sit on me for so long that I lose feeling in my legs,â Nina huffed, shoving at Brooke until she relented and sat beside her. It didnât stop her from putting her cold feet on her bare thigh though, and Nina hissed and jumped away. âI take it all back. Iâm not going to miss either of you idiots at all.â
âYouâre a crap liar,â Yvie smiled smugly, binning the Marmite and joining the two girls on the sofa, squeezing in between them both. âAwh, guysâŚitâs the end of an era.â
Brooke suddenly felt tears prick at her eyes out of nowhere. âShut up. Weâve still got tomorrow and the next day.â
âYeah, but tomorrow youâre gonna be doing graduation-y shit and then itâs moving day!â Nina protested. Her voice grew small, dropping to a murmur. âItâs kind of like itâs our last day.â
The girls fell silent. Yvie let out a huge puff of air from her lungs. âDonât tell anyone I said this but Iâm gonna miss you girls so fucking much.â
âAwh, Yves. Iâll miss you too,â Nina sighed, burying her face into Yvieâs shoulder and curling her arms around one of Yvieâs. âBut this is good! Change is good, even if itâs scary and different. And youâre gonna be living with Scarlet! Thatâs exciting!â
âHowâs the flat hunting going?â Brooke asked Yvie, who had a little smile on her face. Brooke didnât know if Yvie knew that she always began to smile a little whenever Scarlet was mentioned. She wasnât going to mention it to her. She would maybe mention it to Scarlet.
âLike Iâd rather shit in my hands and clap,â Yvie groaned, running her hands down her face. âItâll be fine, though. Weâve got a while. Her lease isnât up until August so weâve got a few weeks to keep looking and in the meantime Iâll just stay with her in that Dickensian death trap she calls a flat.â
The girls let out a laugh, Brooke resting her head on Yvieâs shoulder too. There was a small silence.
âAt least you and Monet are sorted,â Yvie spoke again, Nina nodding in agreement. Buoyed by how well Yvieâs suggestion to Scarlet had been received, Nina had been determined not to fuck up another relationship milestone with Monet and had asked her to move in with her as well. The answer had been an emphatic yes, and the pair of them had used their terrifying teacher-levels of organisation skills to find a cute two-bed flat in a nicer, only slightly more expensive part of the city. They both knew their relationship was still new and fragile, so theyâd agreed a room each was a good idea to give them their space when they each needed to work or wanted a bit of time on their own to simply do nothing. Brooke knew the two girls were joined at the hip though so they probably didnât need that sort of contingency plan, but it was a sensible decision nonetheless.
âI canât wait to get the keys and just vomit up a bunch of fairy lights and candles in every possible room,â she beamed, excitement radiating out of every pore. âItâs going to be so fun- weâre going to take turns cooking, and build pillow forts, and blast our songs on a Sunday morning and clean the whole place-â
âFuck. Adulthoodâs fully got you. Brooke, quick, if we run we can still save ourselves,â Yvie deadpanned, Nina giving her a whack as Brooke laughed.
âI personally canât wait to go round and visit at every available opportunity. Iâm going to move in,â Brooke smiled, and Nina gave another sad kicked-puppy pout.
âI wish. Canada is so far away,â she sighed, a little knife going through Brookeâs heart at the thought of moving back. She didnât want to think about it, but it was just inevitable. It was happening, and it was fact. She was going back to Canada. She didnât really know what she was doing, she hadnât found herself a flat, and she didnât have a job to earn money and pay the rent with even if she had, so she was flying home.
She really didnât want to think about leaving. She didnât want to think about leaving the city, constantly busy with tourists and families and drunk students and Very Important Working Adults. She didnât want to think about leaving the park, with the cherry blossom trees that lined every path and fond memories of barbecues and picnics and drinking in the sun with the girls. She didnât want to think about leaving uni- because as stressful as all hell her degree had been, sheâd loved studying fashion design, loved making prototypes, loved learning about something she loved, even though her degree was fuck all use to her trying to get an actual job. She didnât want to think about leaving the flat: the shower with its drippy head, the hob with the one gas burner that didnât work, the carpet in her room with the incongruous red faded stain, the fucking Sports Direct mug. The girls that she loved so much her heart felt sore if she thought too much about it: Nina singing obnoxiously early as she got ready for placement, Yvie making the kitchen into a war zone trying new recipes, the ridiculous squabbles they got into about the washing up, pre-pre-drinks where they shared a bottle of pink Gordonâs and splashed mixers into their mismatched glasses and sang along to Ariana Grande at the top of their lungs.
Tears stung at her eyes again, and she swallowed the big lump in her throat to shoo them away. It was too late though, as Nina had seen her glassy eyes and reached over to hug her. Her own voice was thick with tears as she spoke.
âOh, girls,â she let out a shaky breath, Brooke giving up the fight as she felt her own tears drop down onto her hoodie. âChange is goodâŚbut itâs shit.â
âFuck you both, Iâm not crying,â Yvie said, her breathing all shuddery and letting them both know that was a lie. The girls all sat and held each other as they wept quietly, mourning the death of their student careers and this life theyâd lived for three years that theyâd all too often taken for granted.
Brooke was the first to dry her tears, giving one decisive sniff and sweeping under both her eyes with determination. âRight. Iâm putting a stop to this, weâre not spending our kind-of last night in the flat sitting crying like a bunch of babies. Weâre going to order food, get high as St Peterâs balls and watch shitty game shows that make us yell at the TV. Okay?â
She was happy that Yvie and Nina both snorted a weepy laugh and nodded at her. âOkay.â
And the three girls did just what Brooke had suggested. There was, however, bickering about where they should order from. Yvie wanted sushi from the tiny little place tucked away in a back street that did bento boxes with prawn katsu and salmon maki which were like little rice parcels of heaven. Nina wanted Chinese from their favourite takeaway that delivered from out in the suburbs and where, for about fifteen points all in, you could get a banquet of sweet and sour chicken in sticky red sauce, crispy golden salt and chilli chips with huge red jewels of chilli and slices of garlic, chicken fried rice in a rich Cantonese gravy which bound everything together and chow mein with soft spring onion slices and huge chunks of onions all tossed in soy sauce. Brookeâs selection won in the end though as her argument was the strongest- âI might not taste any of this again, Canada is a long fucking journey, okay?!â- so they ordered burritos and chips and salsa from the incredibly-overpriced-but-worth-it burrito bar on campus. They finished the last of the weed that had been wrapped in tin foil and cling film and shoved to the back of the broom cupboard along with the bong, and they made horrifying cocktails from the dregs of their leftover spirits and mixers. The burritos arrived and they stuck Challenge TV on and shouted at the Catchphrase contestants who couldnât get the most obvious fucking catchphrases Brooke had ever seen in her life.
The evening was perfect.
They talked about Brookeâs graduation tomorrow, Nina and Yvie both saying how proud they were of her. Brooke was glad she had the girls, since her Mumâs flight over to see her graduate had been cancelled because of freak winds back in Canada. Brooke had already cried to her over facetime about it, but Yvie had managed to find the link to the livestream that was only meant to be shown on campus, and sheâd sent Brookeâs Mum the link so Brooke knew she would be watching even if she couldnât properly be there. As soon as theyâd heard the news, the girls had all agreed on the group chat to set up camp in the union and watch the livestream (as Brooke and Plastique would be graduating at the same ceremony) and then take photos with them both afterwards outside the great hall as if they were a gaggle of proud Mums. Even though it wouldnât be what sheâd planned, Brooke was still looking forward to it.
It was around midnight before Brooke took herself off to bed, and just as she got cosy underneath the duvet her phone lit up with a notification. She couldnât help the smile that involuntarily shot to her face when she realised it was Vanessa.
V: hey whatâs ya fav Kanye West album mine is GRADUATION!!!!!!! How you feelin about tomorrow boo? xxxxxx
Brooke let out a laugh, muffling it too late with her hand when it came out louder than expected. Christ, she loved the girl so much.
B: Kanye West is a misogynist pig and i wonât stand for him xxxxxx
B: Stronger is a bop though xxxxxx
V: You got that one right xxxxxx
B: And Iâm good! Big jumble of feelings. Big happy/sad vibes xxxxxx
V: I know itâs bittersweet af xxxxxx
V: Me n Scar just held each other and cried once the ceremony was over xxxxxx
Vanessa and Scarlet had graduated last week, as had their other friends. Brooke and Plastiqueâs graduation date was the latest and so they were graduating last. She didnât mind that, though. The longer she could stay being a student the better.
B: Lol we just had a big cry as a full flat xxxxxx
V: Donât lmao idk what we gonna be like when our lease is up xxxxxx
Brooke scrolled up and looked at all the texts theyâd exchanged from the past two months, the same signature of six kisses at the end of them all. They hadnât really spoken about where they were relationship-wise since the night in the library. Maybe Vanessa didnât want to. Maybe it was for the best. Brookeâs heart hurt as she realised she was going to be on the other side of the world in a matter of days, and maybe Vanessa didnât want to see her ever again. She frowned at her own thoughts before tears had a chance to start welling in her eyes again. It had been good to truly get back to where sheâd been before with Vanessa- just texting random garbage, having deep chats about the future, being ever-so-slightly flirty with each other. She thought about confronting the issue head on over text, but it wasnât the medium through which to have that kind of conversation.
As if Vanessa could read her mind, however, another text came through.
V: When do you fly back again? 20th? xxxxxx
Brookeâs heart felt sore.
B: 12th xxxxxx
V: oh right
Brookeâs pulse froze at the lack of kisses. Her fingers ghosted over her screen, trying to figure out what to type. Vanessa sorted the problem for her.
V: fuck I wish you werenât leaving xxxxxx
Brookeâs heart swelled up then popped. Was this the time? No. But their time was running out, she knew that much. Maybe she could see her before she left. Sheâd see her after her graduation anyway.
B: I wish I wasnât either xxxxxx
B: But youâre coming tomorrow yeah? Xxxxxx
V: Wouldnât miss it for the world baby xxxxxx
Fuck, she would miss her so much. Sheâd already told Vanessa how much she meant to her, just how fucking incredible she was in every way, and yet Brooke felt like doing it again.
She didnât, because it would be too weird. But she wanted to more than anything.
V: You gonna look so beautiful and clever tomorrow I just know it xxxxxx
Brooke smiled to herself, blushing on her own at the compliment. Vanessa seemed to be firing risky texts to her left right and centre, so Brooke took a risk of her own.
B: Not as beautiful as you xxxxxx
She almost threw her phone away once sheâd sent it. A reply came back almost instantly.
V: Stop with the lies xxxxxx
She was leaving in two days so she sent another risky one, caution truly pissed into the wind.
B: Youâre honestly the most beautiful girl in the world xxxxxx
At that point Brooke put her phone face down on her bedside table and decided to sleep, her heart full of butterflies and her thoughts filled with the ridiculously massive crush she had on the girl sheâd been idiotic enough to let go the first time.
When Brooke woke up, her phone was blowing up with messages. The one she checked first was from Vanessa in reply to the one sheâd sent last night, and was simply a series of heart eye emojis. The next one she opened was a text from her Mum, paragraphs of pride and love for her daughter that made Brooke want to cry already. The others were all from the chat- Silky, Akeria, Vanessa, Scarlet, Yvie and Nina all spamming it with messages of luck and love for her and Plastique, and promising theyâd be watching the screen and waiting outside for them when the ceremony was done.
Brooke got ready in a dream-like haze. She took her smart black tailored dress out of the cupboard where it had been hanging for the past month, the garment more ready for graduating than she was. She showered then dried her hair, curling it and brushing out so it made waves down her back. She put on her makeup- browns and nudes with only the tiniest bit of highlight. When she stepped into her dress and heels and looked at herself in front of the mirror, she hardly recognised herself.
She looked like an adult. A woman with her life stretching out in front of her, ready to be whatever she made of it.
Brooke phoned a taxi- it was raining just a little, even though it was already July- and pulled on a smart black coat when she saw it pull up outside, dashing carefully down the steps of the stairwell and out into the new day.
Graduation wasnât til 11, but Brooke had arranged to meet up with Plastique beforehand anyway, just so they could be excited together. When Brooke pulled up at the taxi rank outside the square and the huge ceremony hall, she could see Plastique and her Mum there already, standing bickering amongst the growing gaggle of students and families. The sight only hurt Brooke a bit, until she remembered the girls would all be watching, and her Mum would be watching too no matter how far away. It would, after all, be about one and a half hours of waiting for Brooke to walk across the stage, take a scroll and shake a hand, and then it would all be over.
It was scary to think that that was all that was separating her and the adult world.
Trying not to get too deep and to instead just enjoy the day, Brooke excitedly paid the driver and dashed out of the taxi, Plastique spotting her running towards her and giving an excited squeal. She opened her arms out for a hug which Brooke crashed into.
âBitch! How are you!â Plastique cried, Brooke only squeezing her tightly in response. âIâm so excited! And sad. And excited! And emotional.â
âYeah, I can tell!â Brooke teased, Plastique laughing as she stepped out of the hug and gestured to her Mum, dressed very glamorously in a blue dress, blue heels and a pink fascinator. The occasion didnât really call for it but Plastiqueâs Mum was always one to embrace the potential glamour in every situation, and so she had gone all out.
âYouâve met my Mum, right?â Plastique smiled. Brooke nodded and waved her a hello. Sheâd met her once at their second year showcase, the woman keeping her in stitches with her hilarious stories.
âI have! Nice to see you again, Alyssa.â
Alyssa, throwing formalities out of the window, instead pulled Brooke into a crushing hug. âAnd you too, my angel! Awh, Lord, âTique told me all about your Mamaâs flight. My heart is absolutely breakinâ for you, honey. I wouldâve sent a plane over for her but nobodyâs flying out of there come hell or high water.â
Brooke suppressed a laugh, finding it unbelievable that âIâll just get her a planeâ was on Alyssaâs list of options. âItâs okay Alyssa. Thank you, though. Sheâs going to watch the live stream, Yvie hooked her up with a link.â
âWell Iâll be your Mama just for today, girl. I am so proud of you both!â Alyssa cried, putting both her hands on Plastiqueâs shoulders and sighing. âLook at my intelligent daughter, out here gettinâ degrees and lookinâ so beautiful at the same time.â
Plastique smiled at her Mum lovingly, the two of them sharing one last hug before she and Brooke took themselves off to pick up their robes. It was surreal actually wearing the gown, all billowing and black, and helping each other fix their hoods, light blue with fringes of pink. They went to get their graduation photos taken, Brooke surprised that they were given a prop degree to hold as sheâd always thought it was her actual degree sheâd be holding. She laughed as Plastique moaned to her about not being able to see the photo until it got mailed to her, and the fact that her Mum ordered about twenty four copies so even if it was horrible she wouldnât ever be able to escape it. Alyssa texted Plastique to tell her sheâd gone into the hall to get a good seat, so her and Brooke decided to just go and sit ready anyway. They had to say goodbye to each other briefly until the end of the ceremony, as everyone had to sit in alphabetical order. As she waited for the ceremony to begin, Brooke scanned the huge crowds all seated in the hallâs three tiered levels. Her eyes fell on each empty seat and her heart broke a little more each time she saw one.
Nobody she truly loved would see her graduate in person. Sheâd be lying if she said she wasnât absolutely gutted. But at least she had Plastique, and of course, Alyssa.
Before she knew it, the ceremony had begun. She tried to pay attention to the Deanâs address and the chamber choir singing in Latin but she couldnât help feeling like a 16-year-old in her school assembly, bored and just full of anticipation. Eventually, the awards began. Brooke clapped for all the other students crossing the stage, her eyes trained on the way they walked. She swallowed down the panic she felt, banished the thought of tripping over to the back of her mind. It reached Plastiqueâs turn, and she gave a huge cheer as her friend walked across the stage with all the grace and poise of a supermodel. She could hear Alyssaâs voice shouting from the balcony- âThatâs my baby! Thatâs my girl!â- and, for a moment, she thought she heard the yell of a voice she knew all too well.
No. That was crazy. She must have imagined it.
E in the alphabet turned to F, then G, and eventually, H. Brooke didnât have many others to sit through, and eventually there was only one girl separating her and her degree. The moment these three years had led up to, finally being lived out.
âBrooke Lynn Hytes.â
She heard her name and smiled as she walked carefully across the stage, shaking the Deanâs hand tightly and collecting her scroll all wrapped up in its little embossed tube. She couldnât wipe the smile off her face as she walked to the other side, heard the claps, heard the cheers, and heardâŚ
âLove you, Brooke Lynn!â
Stop.
âGo Brooke! Love you, girl!â
It was her. It was actually her. Vanessaâs voice, soaring above the crowd and reaching Brooke like an arrow.
What the fuck was she doing here, at her actual graduation ceremony? As Brooke dismounted the stage she scanned the room like a meerkat, the place far too packed to distinguish Vanessa from any other of the little blobs of people sitting in each row. But she knew it was her. Vanessa had seen her graduate, had seen her collect her degree and had cheered for her.
Brooke didnât know how sheâd managed to get a ticket - they were all reserved for families- but she suddenly couldnât wait for the ceremony to end.
She didnât have long to wait, as time flew by and everything was over before it could all sink in. Brooke and Plastique emerged from the hall to the crowds outside and, just as they had promised, the girls all rushed forward to crush them in ridiculously tight hugs, Silky yelling at the top of her lungs how proud she was of them both and Akeria shaking a bottle of five pound cava until the cork opened easily and sprayed the fizz all over the two girls. Brooke clung to Plastique and laughed, unable to stop the smile that was plastered on her face.
âI canât believe it! You both did it, congratulations!â Scarlet cried cheerfully, Brooke pulling her into another hug.
âDid you see me shaking when I walked across the stage? I thought I was going to trip and fall off the damn thing!â Brooke laughed, the other girls all laughing too.
âYou looked like a confident, graceful, successful queen,â Nina told her, Brooke wanting to cry at her friendâs compliment. âAnd you are all of those things! Fuck, I canât believe weâve all graduated now. What the hell are we going to do?!â
âAw, letâs not think about that,â Akeria shushed her, a proud smile on her face. âWell done, ladies. Weâre all proud of you. You did that shit.â
Plastique hugged and thanked them all again before making her excuses, saying sheâd be right back, and dashing off to Alyssa. As she left, Yvie took Brookeâs hand and squeezed it.
âSo, have you not got some big, teen-movie speech to make, or something?â she quipped. Brooke frowned, looking at her with confusion. The rest of the girls all waited for the penny to drop excitedly, and Brooke saw Akeriaâs eyes land on someone just over her shoulder. Brooke turned around and, through the crowd, saw Vanessa waiting beside the hall. Their eyes met, and Brooke could see her try and then fail to suppress the smile on her face. Brooke turned back to the girls, pointing over her shoulder at the girl waiting for her.
âHow didâŚyou were all-â
Akeria rolled her eyes, gave her a gentle shove. âGo get your fuckinâ girl, idiot.â
Brooke hardly had to be told twice. She turned around, took two steps, then three, then four, until she realised she was almost jogging over to where Vanessa stood. And suddenly she was in front of her- her hair wavy and falling over her shoulders, her outfit exactly what any graduation guest would be wearing- a smart red dress that accentuated Vanessaâs collarbones and dark eyes and the bright white of the smile she was flashing Brookeâs way.
âHey,â Brooke began, faltering slightly. She didnât know where to start, so she chose the obvious. âYou were there.â
âYep!â Vanessa smiled at her proudly.
âHow didâŚhow?â Brooke stuttered out, still completely at a loss. Vanessa let out a laugh, charming beyond anything Brooke had heard before.
âI messaged your Mama. Got her number off Yvie after she sent her the link for the livestream. Basically said âhey Ms HytesâŚcan I grab your ticket and see your daughter graduate so I can surprise herâ?â Vanessa grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Brooke couldnât believe it. Her own Mum had been in on the whole thing and hadnât let on. She was going to kill the woman the moment she touched down in Toronto.
âOh my God. Youâre amazing,â Brooke gasped, taking a little step forward so they were closer. She felt like crying. Vanessa was here, in front of her for what was maybe the last time. She had to do something. She couldnât lose her. Not again.
âAmazing, huh?â Vanessa asked shyly, looking to the ground. They both knew the question meant so much more than simply what it was, and Brooke, without knowing where her confidence had emerged from, took both of Vanessaâs hands in hers. Vanessaâs gaze shot up, and their eyes met.
âCan I kiss you?â
âGod, please.â
Without waiting a second longer, Brooke tipped her head down and met Vanessaâs lips. It was somehow just like the first time, even though in many ways it wasnât at all. This time, Brooke knew every single inch of Vanessaâs body, she knew her ambitions, her fears, she knew what it was like to have almost lost her and be lucky enough to have her come back again. But most of all, Brooke knew that she was in love with her, so fucking in love with her, this one of a kind girl who she was desperate to keep in her life no matter if Vanessa chose her to be hers or not. Their kiss was gentle and urgent and passionate all at once, and Brooke wanted to hold onto the moment forever. When Vanessaâs lips were gone and Brooke was all at once looking at her again, she had tears in her eyes.
âHey, hey, âNess. Come on, this isnâtâŚdonât be upset.â
âI am, though! Iâm an idiot. These past two months we couldâve been kissing like that and going on cute dates and planning the future and having fuckinâ insane levels of sex but I left you hanging like boo boo the fuckinâ fool when I knew what my decision was the moment we had that conversation in the library, because itâs you, Brooke, fuck, itâs always been you. I love you so much,â Vanessa sniffed, frantically wiping her tears away as Brooke pulled her against her chest. Vanessaâs voice murmured against her, the most hopeful, plaintive question. âDo you still love me?â
âFuck, Vanessa, of course I love you. Youâre justâŚthe person I was meant to meet, youâre the person Iâm meant to have in my life. I love you so much.â
Brooke felt like an idiot as tears began to well up in her own eyes. She looked down at Vanessa and she looked back up at her.
âYouâre leaving,â Vanessa let out a tiny sob, her forehead hitting Brookeâs chest again.
âIâll come back,â Brooke said immediately, meaning it. âHonestly, I will. Iâll book my flights as soon as Iâm home. Iâll look for flats and jobs and we can start again. Weâll make it work. I want to be with you.â
Vanessa looked up at her, her happy, grateful smile at Brookeâs words all she needed. She let out a tearful laugh. âBrooke Lynn, will you be my girlfriend?â
Brooke laughed too, taking her both her hands and squeezing them. âHey, fuck you, I wanted to ask first!â
They both laughed then leaned in for another kiss. Brooke didnât need to answer. Vanessa hadnât needed to ask.
As they broke away and wrapped their arms around each other, Brooke felt the tears spring up in her eyes as she looked over at the girls. There was Akeria, making some quip about something, and Silky howling at whatever it was sheâd said. Monet had joined them all and was swigging the cava out of the bottle, an arm around Nina who was looking at her with adoration. Scarlet and Yvie were telling them both a story, their hands intertwined and their bodies close. Plastique had dragged her Mum over to meet them all and her face was animated as she spoke to her, so full of happiness and excitement.
âFuck, Vanessa, I canât believe itâs all over,â Brooke let out a small sob. Vanessa reached up, swept her tears away with a gentle finger.
âHey. Donât cry because itâs over. Smile because it happened.â
Brooke smiled down at her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. There was nobody sheâd rather have spent the past three years with.
âYou wanna go steal that cava back from Monet?â
Brooke giggled and nodded. Joining their hands together and giving them a little squeeze, they walked back over to be with their family.
âIâm in love with you. I love you so much that it scares me. It scares me more than being fuckingâŚtrapped in the library in the pitch black with no way out,â Brooke let out a hybrid of a laugh and a sob. By now, Vanessa had lifted her gaze to look at Brooke, and Brooke had shifted hers so she could protect herself from Vanessaâs reaction. âBecause I donât want to hurt you again, and you deserve better than someone like me.â
âThen donât,â Vanessa said quietly.
âWhat?â Brooke whispered, confused. She tugged the sleeves of her jumper over her hands and jammed them under her eyes, used them to stop the tears from escaping.
âYou said you donât want to hurt me again. Then donât,â Vanessa repeated patiently. Brooke blinked. She had no idea what that meant, so she went with the knowledge she had at hand.
âI love you, and you love me,â Brooke said softly, finally meeting Vanessaâs eyes. âCan weâŚdo something with that information?â
Vanessa let out a loud blast of a laugh, making Brooke giggle even though she didnât know what was funny. âGod, thatâs the most Brooke Lynn Hytes way of asking me out ever. Can we do something with that information.â
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
FREE
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
âI wanna run into the sea! Can we run into the sea and tell the girls?â
Nodding excitedly, the three friends tore towards the coastline screeching like banshees. Scarlet could feel the wind in her hair, the sun beating down on her, and the sand shifting underneath her feet with every step she took.
She had never felt so conscious of her own mortality and yet as if she could live forever all at once.
âHey, I donât! Could be fun,â Monet piped up, a little sparkle in her eye as she flicked her dark curls over her shoulder and sat down beside Nina much closer than sheâd been before. âFind out all the nasty shit you get up to in your spare time, Miss West.â
Nina gave Monet a shove as she laughed, her face resembling a Dulux colour chart of pinks. âFine, ugh. Start the god damn game, Vanjie.â
Brooke took a second and looked around. Nina and Monet were dangerously close to getting with each other, at the very least.
Not Nineteen Forever (17) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex) - Ortega
a/n: hey angels! thank u for ur patience, here is yet another chapter of the hellscape that is n19f. as i said on my blog, u will either love this chapter or hate it. either way let me know what u think!! this is a big chunky one at 13k (ik iâm treating u during this quarantine) so grab ur snacks and settle in. lots of love, byeee!
trigger warning: a little light drinking xo
please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!
summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.
last chapter: Scarlet celebrated her birthday by helping Nina win back Monet, a surprise party organised by her girlfriend, and a suspiciously civil Brooke and Vanjie.
this chapter: from one birthday to another, the gang heads out to the country to celebrate Brooke and Akeriaâs 22nd. everyone seems back on good terms, but will the combination of hide and seek, truth or dare, a hot tub and of course a lil bit of alcohol change anything?
Brooke rolled her eyes, unable to help herself laughing as Nina rolled her suitcase towards Monetâs car. âItâs hardly a holiday, is it, girl? Overnighter in an airbnb in the middle of buttfuck nowhere?â
âListen, Iâll take what I can get, thank you very much,â Nina raised her eyebrows, as Monet lifted the door of the boot up and Nina heaved her case inside.
âOh, what a compliment,â Monet quipped from beside her, Brooke making a sick noise as Nina slid her arms around her girlfriendâs waist and gave her a squeeze.
âNot with girlfriends, obviously. Youâre a Tesco Finest girlfriend. Not a smartprice girlfriend,â Nina explained, Monet smiling proudly and nuzzling their noses together. Brooke already wanted to vomit and she wasnât even car sick yet.
âPack it in, bitches, or Monetâs uninvited,â she deadpanned, pushing herself off the wall she was currently leaning against and looking up at her bedroom window, ignoring the girlsâ shouts of indignation. âRight, have you got everything, yeah?â
âHave you seen the size of this bitchâs suitcase? I think she has literally managed to pack your kitchen sink,â Monet cocked an eyebrow at Nina, who elbowed her in the ribs. Nina produced her phone from the pocket of her dungaree dress.
âHey Google, can you divorce your girlfriend?â she asked into the speaker, Monet howling a laugh and shoving her.
âSeriously, guys, I havenât packed enough anti-sickness tablets for this,â Brooke said dryly, making her way to the passenger door.
âOh, are you planning on recreating the great rail replacement bus fiasco of â18?â came a voice, Brooke turning round and narrowing her eyes at her smug flatmate, emerging through the door with her girlfriend and a small holdall bag.
âI was sat hungover opposite the toilet on a three hour coach journey, what the hell else was I expected to do?â Brooke defended herself. Yvie sat down on the wall outside their building, Scarlet joining her.
âHmm, all Iâll say, Monet, is that I hope you have at least three empty plastic bags in the back seat with her,â she advised smugly, Brooke wishing she was still leaning against the wall so she could shove her off it.
âWhen is Plastique coming for you guys? Can I arrange for you to be sitting in the middle of the road when she drives up it?â
âHey, what the fuck did I say?!â Scarlet yelped, outraged.
âYouâre a bystander, Scarlet, and a bystander is worse than a bully,â Nina remarked sagely, Monet nodding along in support.
âBesides, Iâm allowed to bully Brooke. Itâs part of the lease,â Yvie shrugged, fixing the huge round sunglasses that had been on the top of her head and positioning them so they were right at the bridge of her nose. The March sunshine was welcome; it made Brooke feel happy, optimistic of things to come. Even the small scrub of grass out the front of their stairwell had bright purple, yellow and white bulbs poking through it, bringing a defiant sense of beauty to their surroundings. Brooke had been so pleased with the weather when sheâd opened her curtains that morning that sheâd packed a bunch of clothes she usually reserved for the summer. It felt odd wearing her denim skirt without the black tights sheâd clad herself in for the past three months, but it was a welcome feeling. Yvie hadnât really seemed to get the Summery memo other than her sunglasses- a huge knitted jumper covered in holes hung off her skinny frame and a pair of thick exercise leggings kept her legs warm.
âYou couldnât spruce yourself up a bit for my birthday, bitch? I feel like any minute now youâre going to start dancing around the street moulting straw singing about how you desperately want a brain,â Brooke smirked, Yvie simpering a fake smile and giving her the finger in response.
âItâs only fifteen degrees, Brooke, itâs hardly time to crack out the Kopparberg and blast T Shirt Weather yet,â Scarlet laughed. It was a bit hypocritical, Brooke thought as she looked Scarletâs outfit up and down- a floaty, lacey dress and a pair of white Adidas- but of course she would defend her girlfriend. It wasnât actually fair, contemplated Brooke. Scarlet and Yvie would always team up, so would Monet and Nina. Brooke had to fight all her battles herself.
âBesides, your birthday is over! Move on, hoe,â Yvie smiled, running forward and shaking Brookeâs shoulders relentlessly as the other girls laughed uproariously in the background. Â Brooke laughed and batted her away, knowing she was just joking. As she shoved her friend off of her, a familiar grey Audi drove up their street and pulled in behind Monetâs car. Plastique gave her horn a little beep, waving and rolling down her window.
âLetâs ride, bitches! Iâm so ready for this weekend,â she squealed, as Yvie and Scarlet rushed to shove their bags in the boot of her car.
âI think Iâve been ready since we booked it,â Nina sighed, stretching. âRight, letâs go, girls! Dun-duun-da-na-na-dun dun.â
As Nina continued singing Shania Twain and hopped in the passenger seat of Monetâs car, Brooke passed by Plastiqueâs window and gave her hand a squeeze. âYou know how to get there, yeah?â
âUp the motorway then off at junction 4 and then just follow all the signs for the B road. We good,â she nodded, then gave a laugh. âKikiâll probably end up in France somehow, you know what her sense of direction is like.â
âYeah, but sheâs got Silky and Vanj to direct her. Sheâll be fine,â Brooke shrugged, thumping on Plastiqueâs door and making for the other car. âRight, see you ladies at the airbnb!â
Monet blasted her horn once, twice, three times as Brooke dashed into the back seat and buckled up. As Nina connected her phone to the aux cord and started blasting typically Nina-ish cheesy music, Brooke felt an excited little smile creep up on her face, slapping her hands against her thighs to the beat. The past almost-a-month had gone by quickly, and Brooke and Akeriaâs shared birthday trip away had arrived before Brooke had known it. It had been booked on a whim, an excited message from Akeria on the group chat about a potential birthday night out had grown arms and legs until suddenly the girls were all transferring her money for a night in the country to jointly celebrate her and Brookeâs birthdays. They had turned 22 within ten days of each other, and the girls had all decided that the amount of money they would have spent on two big nights out- Ubers, big bottles of vodka for pres, club entry, club drinks and cheesy chips at the end of the night- probably equated to the same, if not more, than the amount they would drop on a boujie house in the country. The house they had booked was huge- five big bedrooms with floor to ceiling windows, a lounge straight out of a murder mystery drama with plush sofas, towering bookshelves and a massive roaring fire, a kitchen with a table big enough to fit them all round and an aga with what seemed to be a thousand burners- though whether anyone would know how to work the damn thing was anyoneâs guess, Brooke thought with a snort. The icing on the cake of the whole place, though, was a huge section of outdoor decking with a hot tub set in the middle of it. To most of the girls it would be like living somebody elseâs life for the weekend, but, Brooke thought mischievously, to Plastique it would probably seem the same as a weekend at home.
Brooke was glad they could all do something like this, go away together after what had happened. She didnât really know what had happened to Vanessa to make her warm up to her so unexpectedly. It had all started when they were preparing for Scarletâs birthday surprise; Brooke remembered how hard her heart had been beating that morning as sheâd known it was the first time sheâd be properly seeing Vanessa since they broke up, having to wipe her sweaty palms on her jeans as the door to the kitchen had opened and Vanessa, Akeria and Silky had walked in. Akeria and Silky, to their credit, had been fine and normal with Brooke, despite the amount of dragging through the mud they had probably done to her name when theyâd heard the news of her and Vanessaâs breakup. Vanessa, (understandably, thought Brooke) had hugged Yvie, Plastique and Nina, but not Brooke, the obviousness of the action lost in the frenetic melee of the girls seeing each other all at once. Brooke had preferred that, though. She wouldnât have wanted the awkwardness of reminding herself how perfectly her arms seemed to fit around Vanessa, the brief scent of the Aussie shampoo she used in her hair, her head against her chest even for just the tiniest second.
After that, Vanessa had started with the digs. Brooke had thought sheâd had malicious intent at first, until she got bored and decided to fire back.
(Yvieâs voice had yelled from the hallway. âWhoâs made the cupcakes yet? Anyone?â
âWell if itâs Brooke, we all dyinâ tonight.â
âAt least I can make something! How much do you drop on Deliveroo in a month, like, half your student loan?â)
With each verbal sparring match, Brooke had watched as the small, sardonic snorts Vanessa had given evolved into a full-blown beaming smile, the kind she always used to shoot Brookeâs way with the perfect white teeth and the tiny dimple and the little blush that hit her cheeks. It was almost painful knowing that Brooke had given up that smile. And that had been the moment. The moment that Brooke had finally admitted to herself what sheâd been wanting to deny all this time- she deeply wished she hadnât ended things with Vanessa, that sheâd fought through the ick and given it at least more of a shot than she had. Now Vanessa had moved on and she was seeing someone else and she was happy. Happy without Brooke. Why had Brooke broken up with her so quickly?
She was an idiot.
âShe was an idiot.â
Brooke snapped out of her trance, blinking and trying to figure out how Monet had managed to get inside her head. âWhat?â
âThat woman. Blue car. Completely cut me off,â Monet rolled her eyes, frowning as she inched forward in the traffic until she was almost bumper to bumper with the car in question.
âOh M'net, donât start a fight,â Nina sighed, resting her knees against the glovebox.
âIâm not! Iâm just letting a bitch know that her misconduct was noted,â Monet growled.
âHer misconduct was noted? God, youâre such a teacher,â Nina laughed, a big chuckle with loads of heart that made Brooke smile.
âHey, so are you!â
âStop fucking bickering or I will take your vocal cords and strangle you with them!â Brooke cried, tiring quickly. She watched Monet smirk in the rear view mirror.
âItâs alright, Neens. Just because Brookeâs jealous of happy couples and regrets breaking it off with Vanjie-â
âWait what? I donâtâŚoh, Nina, for fuckâs sake! I told you not to tell anyone!â Brooke snapped, training accusatory eyes on her friend. After Scarletâs birthday, sheâd told Nina what sheâd told Yvie, just in a little more detail, and sheâd been more sympathetic than her other flatmate, making her tea and nodding understandingly as Brooke vented at her. Nina was usually good with secrets, a reliable and trustworthy friend. Brooke couldnât understand why she would-
âAhahaha!!! BITCH! You just totally exposed yourself! Oh my God!!â Monet screeched in time with her tyres, thumping her hand against the steering wheel. Brooke was confused, her heart still thudding. âNina ainât told me shit but I got eyes and ears, anâ I saw you two flirting at Scarletâs. All damn day and night. You donât act like that with someone you just broke up with.â Â
âYeah Iâm afraid you just spilled your own secret, Brooke,â Nina deadpanned from the passenger seat, giving a little laugh.
âShit,â Brooke sighed, putting her head in her hands. âGreat. Well, you probably think Iâm a total asshole, Monet.â
âHey, Iâm a very chill person! You do you, girl. You wanna get with Vanessa for 3 months, break up with her for one and then get back with her again, thatâs no business of mine,â Monet shrugged, a twinkle in her eye.
âYeah, I know I made a mistake, thanks,â Brooke sighed, biting her lip as she let her thoughts wash over her. Monet had a unique angle on the whole situation. She lived with Monique, of course, and that whole thing was still going on between her and Vanessa, if a message Vanessa had accidentally sent to the group chat last week was anything to go by. Brooke had wondered for days on end whether it had actually been an accident or not, the content of the message sending her crazy with jealousy as it was essentially just Vanessa begging Monique to come round and fuck her into the mattress. Sheâd considered whether or not it could have been deliberate, but the absolute roasting Vanessa had received afterwards from the other girls couldnât have been worth it if it had. Brooke considered asking Monet for some inside knowledge, decided against it, and then did a U-turn as she concluded that her pride and dignity were already bruised so she might as well go the whole hog and shatter them.
âSo, uhâŚVanessaâs still seeing Monique.â
Monet ran her tongue over her teeth. âSheâs certainly round at the flat a lot.â
âSo is that, uhâŚI mean, do you think thatâs going to turn into anything more, orâŚ?â
âI donât know, girl, I donât know if itâs my place to say.â
This is like pulling teeth. âDo you think they-â
âTheyâre having a lot of sex.â
âMonet!â Nina burst out in a shocked laugh.
âWhat?! They are!â
âExcellent!â Brooke exclaimed sarcastically, staring out the window as the city around them turned into fields and the houses turned into service stations.
âCâmon, Brooke, you have to admit you do kinda deserve this a lilâ bit,â Monet laughed, Brooke rolling her eyes from the back seat.
âRight, both of you shut up. Iâm officially banning any conversations about pining or relationships until we get to the house. We sing, we eat snacks, occasionally we play I Spy. Thatâs it,â Nina scolded them, turning around in her seat and staring Brooke down. Brooke had never felt more like a disgraced teenager in her life.
âUghhhh, fine, Mom,â Monet groaned, changing up into fifth as they hit the motorway, the weekend becoming more real and making Brooke tingle with excitement despite the news she hadnât wanted to hear.
Just as Nina had ordered them, the three girls spent the rest of the journey singing at the top of their lungs to Vengaboys, B*Witched and Cascada, Brooke on crisp duty as she passed the cavernous bag of barbecue rib McCoys forward every five minutes or so, Monet making hurried grabs at crinkle cut crisps in between changing gears. Brooke managed to avoid the dreaded travel-sickness that had plagued her since she was about six years old, much to Monet and Ninaâs delight. The sun didnât let up, and it still hung proudly in the sky as the girls pulled up the leafy, tree-lined driveway to the house theyâd booked, the branches hanging low and curling around each other signalling they hadnât been cut in a while. Spying Akeriaâs Corsa and Plastiqueâs Audi already parked, Monet pulled up alongside the huge white house, the little set of three stone chimneys on the roof puffing out smoke and letting the girls know that at least one room wouldnât be too cold inside. As Monet neatened up her parking, the sound of Silkyâs screeching cut through the crunching of wheels against gravel, and the rest of the girls spilled out of the front door shortly afterwards. As soon as the car had stopped, Brooke excitedly hopped out of the passenger seat, hugging any girl she could reach. Before she knew it, sheâd found herself pulling out of a quick hug with Vanessa, and the two were in front of each other.
âHey,â Brooke decided quickly to speak first, setting the tone so there wouldnât be any awkward pauses.
âHey! How was your ride? Get here okay?â Vanessa asked politely, tucking a strand of her caramel hair behind one ear. She was dressed in a tiny little cropped black jumper and some faded grey jeans, Brooke trying to ignore her mind reminding her of how right it felt to wrap her arms around Vanessa again, how tiny her waist was and how much she wished she could go back for another hug- for fuckâs sake, cut that shit out.
âUh, yeah! It was fine. Traffic wasnât too bad. How about you?â
Vanessa let out a laugh. âShit was like Wacky Races. Akeria nearly rammed some old cunt off the road. Iâve never seen road rage like it, we genuinely feared for our lives. Or her license. Oh my God, this house is insane. Câmon, you need to see it!â
There was a split-second where Brooke felt Vanessa tug at her hand, which was quickly dropped as if the action had never happened. It was almost as if Vanessa had been on automatic pilot; the ease with which she used to slip her hand into Brookeâs hadnât been forgotten by either of them. And then Brooke felt Plastique leap onto her back like a monkey, and the girl was excitedly chattering away to her, and the moment had passed.
Brooke barely had time to take in the huge cream-painted hall with the varnished cream stairs stretching practically up to the ceiling when Plastique steered her down two steps and into the kitchen, grey stone tiles making Brookeâs feet feel cold even through her trainers and the huge wooden table overflowing with assorted snacks. Akeria and Scarlet clung to the rail of the AGA, the two girls clearly feeling the cold in the chilly kitchen.
âDid any of us actually bring a meal between us or are we just going to live off of Twirl Bites and Classic Dip Selections?â Yvie wondered, picking up a four-pack of various dips. Brooke laughed.
âHey, thereâs pizzas in the fridge! Do yâall really think I would let you starve?â Silky piped up, opening the huge fridge to reveal at least ten pizzas, more than they would eat in one night.
âNobody goes hungry in the presence of Silky Nutmeg Ganache,â Plastique smiled proudly, holding her fist out for Silky to punch. As the girlsâ fists connected, Brooke watched as Vanessa scraped a wooden chair out against the stone floor.
âYou girls wanna have a munch and then get wrecked?â
âHmm, if we get drunk too early then thereâs no way weâll be able to work this oven,â Scarlet shrugged, biting her lip and frowning.
âYeah, weâre gonna struggle to operate this sober,â Monet considered, opening up one of the oven doors and investigating.
âWell how about we snack and then play a game? I wanna play hide and seek in here,â Nina bounced on the balls of her feet excitedly. Akeria snorted.
âHide and seek, youâre such a child. But to be fair, that could be fun. Or sardines.â
âWhatâs that?â asked Brooke. âI donât know if we had that but called it something else.â
âThat one where one person hides and everyone else seeks,â Yvie explained. âItâs way better. Way more chaotic.â
âSweet. Iâm down,â Brooke shrugged. She was glad that all of the girls she was friends with were happy to dick about and play kidsâ games for an afternoon, and it was the kind of thing sheâd miss when she graduated and would have to find a job.
The girls were all feeling peckish after their long drive, though, so they all grabbed the nearest snacks they could and headed upstairs to the living room, where Akeria had managed to start the fire which was crackling warmly in the huge marble fireplace. They all dumped their food on the huge glass-topped coffee table and had a little explore around the house before they relaxed. There was a surplus of bedrooms, and it had been agreed that since they were celebrating Brooke and Akeriaâs birthdays, the two girls should have a bedroom to themselves each. Brookeâs bedroom had a huge bay window out to the rear of the house where the fields stretched for miles, and an actual four-poster bed.
âI canât help but feel like you guys should take this room and I should take yours,â Brooke said with a pang of guilt for Yvie and Scarlet, who had dumped their things in the room they were sharing and had come to investigate Brookeâs.
Scarlet made a noise of discouragement. âNo, itâs fine! Thisâll get cold anyway, itâs so big. Our roomâs cosier.â
Brooke watched Scarlet share a smile with her girlfriend and wrap both of her arms around Yvieâs. âYeah, honestly, Brooke, itâs fine. Scarlet would manage to bump her head and toe and Christ knows what else on all four of the posts anyway.â
Scarlet burst out into offended laughter, letting the girls know that she secretly agreed a little bit.
âHowâre the others?â Brooke asked, peering down the little corridor with the exposed wooden beams and hearing chatter and Monetâs deep laughter coming from the other rooms.
âPlastique, Silk and Vanj are all in together. I think V drew the short straw so sheâs on the sofa bed,â Scarlet gave a shrug.
âThatâs unfortunate,â Yvie commented, raising her eyebrows at Brooke slightly.
âBehave,â Brooke smacked her, not appreciating the implication. Vanessa had only just become friends with her again. They were hardly going to spend the entire night going at it like rabbits just because Vanessa wasnât looking at her like she wanted to kill her anymore. âCome on, lovebirds. I feel like I havenât shovelled enough crisps down my throat today.â
The three girls made their way to the living room again, where Nina and Monet were draped over the sofa and snacking on some sort of jelly sweets. Gradually the other girls joined them in drips and drabs and they spent the time chatting and gossiping in their usual way- about anything and everything under the sun. Brooke kept finding her eyes being drawn to Vanessa. It wasnât entirely her fault- she was sitting opposite her, and often Brooke would find her already looking her way. Although that could have just been Brookeâs imagination. God, she didnât even know anymore. Â
âRight!â Nina cried, as everyone looked dangerously close to slipping into a snack-induced coma. âSardines time!â
âKiki should hide first, itâs her birthday!â Silky argued immediately, Brooke only the tiniest bit affronted.
âHey, hey, itâs Brookeâs birthday too. Also, I feel like yâall are way more enthusiastic than me about this, so I really donât mind.â
âBrooke hides first!â Nina shouted unnecessarily. Brooke stood up from the sofa and rolled her eyes.
âWait, so everyone is after me? Christ. This is like that nightmare I had about being on Hunted.â
âGood luck tryna squeeze that Jolly Green Giant-ass body into any of these cupboards, bitch!â Vanessa yelled across the room to uproarious laughter, Brooke turning round in time to see Vanessa stick her tongue out at her.
âOh, like you can talk! Are you not the same size as an actual Subway sandwich?â Brooke bit back, sticking her tongue out right back and feeling an excited fizz in her stomach as she caught Vanessa blushing slightly as she laughed. As the other girls joined in with the mocking and all piled on each other, Brooke spotted two girls who werenât laughing- Akeria and Silky were looking at each other knowingly, a look that seemed to convey disapproval. What the hell was their problem? If Vanessa was fine with her, then that meant there was no reason for the two of them to hold a grudge either, right?
Brooke frowned, trying not to read too much into it. She turned around and headed out the door. âOkay, count to 100 then, bitches!â
As she heard the others all start chanting descending numbers like a terrifying cult of mathematicians, Brooke began dashing around the house for a place to hide. She ran past the bedrooms, assuming that the others would check there straight away. Brooke considered going behind the porch door, but then thought that might end up being too obvious. She found herself in the kitchen, and to her delight she noticed a huge wooden door set into the wall that had to be a cupboard. Opening it, she saw what looked to be a pantry- shelves and shelves with only a couple of tins left by other guests at the house. It was good, but Brooke didnât think it was a particularly great place to hide until she spotted another door at the very end of the pantry- slightly smaller with a little circular handle. As Brooke turned it, she was confronted with a tiny dark room, with only the blinking lights of the boiler that sat inside to illuminate it.
Perfect.
As Brooke hopped in, she could hear the blood roaring in her ears and her heart thumping. She wanted to giggle. This was exactly how it had felt to play hide and seek when she was little, and she couldnât believe she was a grown-ass twenty-two year old still feeling the same way. Hell, she couldnât believe she was a grown-ass twenty-two year old playing hide and seek. Gradually, she began to hear the sound of footsteps thundering above her, the old ceiling creaking and letting Brooke know the girls were on their way. Then, it all went silent for a while. Brooke breathed out heavily. Just then, she heard the door to the pantry open and one set of footsteps shuffle through it. They dashed to the end of the room and then seemed to be satisfied that there was nothing more to investigate- until Brooke heard them do what seemed to be a double-take. Keeping her breathing silent, Brooke stood frozen to the spot as she saw the door gradually open with a long, murder-mystery style creaaakâŚ
Shit.
Vanessa stood at the doorframe to the cupboard, a shit-eating grin on her face. âIâve been tellinâ Yvie Iâm the best at hide and seek, but she ainât believe me. Whatâd that take me, two minutes?â
âYeah, good job, Poirot,â Brooke smirked, although it was hiding a multitude of nerves. Her and Vanessa, stuck in a tight, dark space together until the other girls found them. This was fine. This would be fine. âRight come on then, girl, you need to get in.â
âFuck no, I ainât goinâ in there! Thatâs a straight-up spidersâ nest, fuck that.â
âJust get in!â Brooke grabbed her gently but firmly by the wrist and dragged her inside, closing the door behind them. It was entirely dark except for the small strip of light where the door met the doorframe, which illuminated Vanessaâs hair and collarbones. There was a small beat of silence in which Brookeâs eyes adjusted to the darkness again, and when her vision had settled she could see Vanessa smiling at her cheekily. âWhat?â
âThereâs a spider in your hair.â
Brooke rolled her eyes. âNo thereâs not.â
âThere is! A big one. Itâs some Harry Potter type shit, I swear.â
âShut up, Vanessa, Iâm not falling for that shit,â Brooke snorted a laugh, squashing the unease that began to creep up on her.
âItâs got, like, a billion eyes.â
âHas it.â
âAnâ forty legs,â Vanessa bit her lip, trying not to laugh.
âWhat the fuck kind of biology classes did you go to? A spider with forty leg- JESUS!â Brooke all at once cut herself off, feeling a movement at her shoulder, her hair flicking against her neck slightly. She gave herself such a jolt that it felt like whiplash, and she watched as Vanessa laughed at her brushing wildly against her shoulder. Brooke was confused when her hand connected with another hand. Vanessaâs hand. How the hell sheâd managed to reach up there without Brookeâs notice was anyoneâs guess, but sheâd certainly done what sheâd set out to do. Brooke launched herself forward and squeezed a hand at Vanessaâs waist, laughing as the other girl screeched in response. The two girls descended into giggles, Brooke having to fend off Vanessaâs playful swipes as she berated her.
âShut up, bitch! Youâre going to get us caught!â Brooke laughed, grabbing one of Vanessaâs wrists in each hand. Suddenly, both girls paused, the compromising position they were in dawning on both of them. The memory of when she used to pin Vanessa to the bed with both her wrists and kiss her neck shot through Brookeâs mind like a hot iron, unwanted and welcome all at once. In the darkness, she could see Vanessaâs single raised eyebrow.
âYou telling me you donât wanna get caught?â she murmured, her voice low and making the atmosphere charged and thick with something that hadnât been there before. Brooke squeezed her thighs together. This couldnât turn into something else. She couldnât let it.
âWell, that is the whole point of the game,â Brooke said, trying to inject as much level-headedness into her tone as she was able. To her dismay she watched as Vanessaâs eyes took on a dark twinkle.
âOh, right, uh-huh. The game. Sure,â she smirked, Brooke only able to laugh in response because that way she wasnât saying anything. This situation was fucked. It was so weird. Vanessa was flirting with her, unprompted. So what did this mean? That she still liked Brooke? That she wanted to be friends and was just playing? What did this mean for her and Monique? They couldnât be that serious, then, if Vanessa was doing all this? Or maybe theyâd fallen out and Vanessa wanted her to be jealous? But what was the point of making somebody jealous who wasnât here? What if her and Monique were together and Vanessa was cheating? What if-
âAYYYYYY FUCKINâ HOES! Yes! Iâm shit-hot at this game, Jesus!â Silky threw the door open, screeching her head off and sending every thought that Brooke was overthinking into the stratosphere.
âStop yellinâ bitch, and get in!â Vanessa laughed. As Silky squeezed into the ever-decreasing-in-space cupboard, Brooke felt her throat almost close up as Vanessa shuffled up against her to make more room, tilting her head up, locking eyes with Brooke and sending her a look that she couldnât decipher before looking away and whispering to Silky.
They were eventually found by the other girls- namely because there was no space at all once Scarlet arrived so Plastique found half of the girls with one toe in the cupboard and the rest of their bodies outside of it. The game carried on, but Brookeâs head wasnât properly in it. She would deliberately put in the bare minimum effort when she was looking for the girls because, really, she wouldnât know what to do if she was stuck in another confined space with Vanessa. Why had it turned so weird before? All flirty and edged with something she couldnât work out. It wasnât right- Vanessa was meant to be mad at her, meant to hate her and never want to speak to her again and somehow theyâd gone from civil, to nearly-friends, to eye-fucking each other in a boiler cupboard in the space of a month?
The encounter was still playing on Brookeâs mind as she got ready for dinner. The girls had all decided that they would âdo a Love Islandâ (in the words of Akeria) and all get glammed up to sit in the living room and play games after theyâd eaten. It felt funny to be putting on a dress, heels and fake lashes without the possibility of going out anywhere, but the methodical process of putting on her makeup was a welcome distraction from the swirling thoughts in Brookeâs head.
âAyo,â came an unexpected voice, causing Brooke to flinch a little and drop the lipgloss sheâd been applying moments before. Looking behind her in the mirror she saw it was just Yvie and Nina. Usually sheâd have been happy to see them, but right now she was doing too much overthinking and couldnât let on what had happened earlier between her and Vanessa. So Brooke just stuck on her best fake smile as she turned around to face them.
âHey! You guys look so good,â she complimented them, Nina smiling and Yvie giving a little snort.
âWell I didnât want to be accused of not making an effort for your birthday again,â she poked her tongue out at Brooke and tugged a little at the beads on the hem of her short gold dress.
âIf you trip in those heels I hope you know thatâs, like, instant paralysis,â Brooke commented, looking at the spikes of Yvieâs six inch stilettos. When the girl did glam, she did glam, Brooke had to give it to her.
âAs if Yvie needs to be any taller than she already is,â Nina laughed playfully.
âAwh, she needs to be tall so she can look down on her smol bean uwu girlfriend,â Brooke teased, Nina continuing to giggle and Yvie giving an amused roll of her eyes.
âWhatâs up with you anyway, bitch? Youâve been, like, extra bitter around all the couples today. Itâs supposed to be your birthday, cheer the fuck up,â Yvie gave her a little nudge with her foot. Brooke frowned. She didnât think she had been being bitter, but maybe Yvie was right. Fuck, what had she even said today? Brooke hoped that Vanessa hadnât noticed anything.
âNo, thatâs not true. Iâm fine! JustâŚâ Brooke sighed, the bingo-hall-style tombola spinning rapidly in her head to generate an excuse. ââŚexams are soon, you know, and Iâve not started revising yet-â
âOh my God, bitch, theyâre in May! This is March! Chill the hell out,â Yvie laughed, pulling Brooke up from her position on the floor by the long mirror in the corner of her room. âLetâs go eat pizza. If Monet and Plastique have worked out how to cook them in that 1920s horror oven.â
As Yvie excitedly strutted out of the room and Brooke made to join her, Nina reached out to squeeze her hand.
âYouâre a crap liar, Brooke Lynn Hytes,â she hissed quietly, Brooke rolling her eyes and making to protest when Nina spoke again. âBut I wonât push it. I just wish youâd open the fuck up more.â
Brooke felt guilty. âI just donâtâŚitâs something I donât want to overthink, Nina. So the best way you can help is helping me stuff myself full of carbs then pouring a 24 pack of San Miguel down my throat.â
Nina nodded understandingly as they reached the top of the stairs, Brooke holding back a snort as she watched Yvie cling to the bannister for dear life as she descended. Nina gave her hand another squeeze, then dropped it. âI can do that. You look beautiful, by the way.â
Brooke shyly looked down at her short, black one-shoulder dress and smoothed it down. âThanks, babe.â
Ninaâs smile suddenly turned scheming. âAnd so does Vanessa.â
Before Brooke could protest, Nina was bounding down the stairs in her bright white Filas that sheâd paired with her blue and white checked dress. It wasnât as formal as Brookeâs or Yvieâs, but that was the beauty of having a glam night in a big house where it was just them- nobody could judge you for being over or underdressed.
As Brooke followed her flatmates into the kitchen, she was met with the sight of her friends all happy, chatting, and in their best outfits. Annoyed at herself, she found her eyes darting around to find Vanessa. She wanted to know why Nina had said what sheâd said, wanted to know if she was just winding her up.
And then her eyes came to rest on the most gorgeous version of Vanessa sheâd ever seen, and her anxiety dipped, did a loop, then spiked. They were both in black- some dumb coincidence that the earth had sent her way, no doubt- but Vanessaâs was shiny, a vinyl dress that clung to her as if it was made of latex and painfully highlighted every curve of her body. Sheâd paired it with red heels, which had straps that snaked their way up her calves and showcased her perfect skin. Her dark hair had been blow-dried out (probably by Akeria, Brooke guessed) and fell in perfect waves down her back and over her shoulders (had she fucking highlighted her collarbones?). Her makeup was, as usual, perfect, a dark shock of eyeshadow and an indecent red on her lips causing Brookeâs heart to race. The worst part, though, about the whole outfit, was the silver zip that ran from the top of the dress to the bottom, right in the middle at the front, and either Vanessa (or someone mucking about with herâŚprobably Silky) had unzipped it just the tiniest amount. For about the hundredth time that month, Brooke cursed herself for breaking things off with Vanessa. It wasnât just about her looks though, or her body, or how much she missed the sex. Their interaction in the cupboard made Brooke remember how funny Vanessa was, how much of an endearing goofball, how she was just a cheerful person whose only real wish in life was to be properly happy. And Brooke had hurt her, made her the exact opposite of that. Vanessa loved everything and everyone so deeply, was the most open of books, and was so unafraid of feeling. Meanwhile there was Brooke not even able to tell her own flatmates, the two girls that knew her best in the world, about her own feelings.
As she watched Vanessaâs eyes drift from Scarlet and Monet, who sheâd been talking to, across the room to rest on her, Brooke felt her heart stop. Not giving a single thing away, Vanessa smiled, gave a little wave, and crossed the room to where Brooke stood.
âHey!â she began, so confident and self-assured and making Brooke feel more like a trashbag than she already did. âNice dress.â
âThanks!â Brooke smiled, uncharacteristically flustered at the tiny compliment. âYou look so beaud!â
Fuck. Brooke kicked herself for getting tongue tied, badly hoping Vanessa wouldnât have noticed. As she watched a confused smile appear on her face, Brooke realised sheâd have to explain herself. âI was going to say beautiful, then I changed it to good and they just sort ofâŚmushed together.â
Brooke felt her face grow hot as Vanessa simply raised an eyebrow in a smirk. âIâll take both. Beautiful and good.â
Just as Brooke was about to defend herself, Silky announced to the girls in her own Silky-esque way that the pizzas were ready, and, giving a cry of delight, Vanessa had dashed across the room and left Brooke forgotten about.
As they all ate, Brooke fought an internal battle. She had absolutely no right to feel sorry for herself, this mess was entirely of her own making. Besides, she had to put everything out of her head now; she had made her decision, Vanessa had moved on, and she had to let the whole thing drop. But despite all this, it didnât stop her brain constantly pestering her with what-ifs.
It was still pestering her once theyâd all finished their dinner and moved upstairs into the huge living room for drinks and games, so she was glad when Nina popped herself down beside her with two ice cold bottles of beer from the fridge.
âOne for each hand,â she explained. Brooke burst out laughing. She fucking loved Nina so much.
âWhereâs yours?â
âMonetâs making mojitos for me and her. I love having a girlfriend, itâs like a sexy butler that you get to have sex with and cuddle any time you want,â Nina mused wistfully, giving Brooke her second belly-laugh in the space of two minutes. As she composed herself, Monet came into the room with two huge tall glasses overflowing with crushed ice and garnished with lime and mint.
âWhere the fuck did you get mint and limes?â Brooke asked, screwing her face up in confusion then scrambling to pull a slightly more attractive one as Vanessa came in flanked by Silky and Akeria.
âI brought them, bitch! Anyway what did I miss?â
âNina called you a sexy butler,â Brooke said casually, sipping one of her two beers and smiling as she watched Nina grow flustered.
âJesus Christ, Iâm getting all the compliments today! First I was a Tesco Finest girlfriend, now Iâm a sexy butler. You know how to treat a lady, Neens,â Monet teased, pulling her girlfriend in and smothering her with kisses on the cheek.
âUgh, get that couple shit outta here,â Vanessa yelled from the other sofa, throwing a leftover crisp at them. Monet instantly snapped back.
âUh, like you can talk, Vanj.â
âWhat the shit hell is that meant to mean?â Vanessa laughed, amused.
Akeria grew outraged as she turned around to face Vanessa, her long, straight hair swinging wildly as she flipped it over her shoulder. âNEED we remind you what you sent to the group chat last week?!â
Silky began yelling, mirroring the cries of woe and dismay that were circling through Brookeâs brain at being reminded that Monique was still very much in the picture. âNO we do NOT need reminded! I canât go through that again, dear Jesus GodâŚâ
âFuck babygirl, I need that mouth on me-â Akeria began reading dramatically from her screen, the girls cringing and laughing and every word feeling like a kick to Brookeâs gut as Vanessa, face bright red, wrestled with Akeria to get the phone out of her hands. â-Iâm touching myself but you know itâs not the same- aw, V! Give it back!â
âIâm gonna eat this fuckinâ phone, Akeria Chanel Davenport, I swear,â Vanessa chided her furiously, holding the phone out of her reach then relenting, giving it back to her. Silky fanned herself dramatically, making the others laugh. As Brooke did her best fake laugh and joined in, she tried not to make eye contact with Vanessaâs embarrassed face.
âAw, are we talking about the unfortunate dirty text incident?â Plastiqueâs voice came from the hall, everyone laughing again as she sat down in the armchair beside the fire. âSeriously, V, you should be a songwriter. I swear that whole thing couldâve been from a Kamille song or some shit-â
âWell, all sexts are a little bit cringey, arenât they?â Nina offered kindly, attempting to cheer Vanjie up. In doing this, she only succeeded in earning herself an exasperated cry from Monet.
âV, do you wanna go out? I canât stand this bitch any more, she just keeps insulting me.â
As everyone howled with laughter and Nina frantically smothered her girlfriend in kisses trying to get her back onside, Brooke sneaked a look at Vanessa. She was laughing, but her face was still a little red. Christ, she looked so cute. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
âSpeaking of sex, Iâm assuming Yvie and Scarlet went off to bang?â Plastique shrugged, everyone finally realising who was missing.
âOh, fuck this! Save that shit for later!â Silky protested, Akeria laughing and whacking her.
âHey, let them be happy! Itâs my birthday so Iâm sayinâ if they want to fuck, let âem. In the meantime I have an empty wine bottle and a room full of girls with secrets that need spilled,â Akeria announced. Plastique clapped excitedly, Silky cheered and Vanessa rolled her eyes.
âFor Christâs sake, Kiki, do we not already know all there is to know about each other?â she complained. Interesting. So Vanessa didnât want to play truth or dare, a game she was usually always down for.
âExcuse the fuck outta me, we played that stupid tuna game earlier!â
âSardines,â Brooke deadpanned, earning herself a laugh from the room.
âIt was some type of fish, I got that much right.â
âHow are you through a whole bottle of wine already?â Silky asked, impressed.
âCan I live? Itâs my birthday! Now will you hoes stop pissing in my cereal and letâs play!â Akeria implored, setting the wine bottle down against the red carpet and spinning it so violently Brooke worried that it would smash on the marble grate. It slowed, turning round and round and finally resting right back at where Akeria leant down from the sofa. She let out a giggle. âOops. Guess itâs me.â
âKeeks, truth or dare!â Plastique asked excitedly. Akeria tilted her head, deep in thought.
âHmm. I ainât drunk enough for dares yet, so letâs go truth.â
There was a beat of silence as everyone racked their brains to think of something. Monet was first with an idea.
âFuck, marry, kill: Silk, Vanj orâŚuhâŚâ
âAsia,â Vanessa said simply, sipping some coke and spirit concoction through a straw as Silky let out a screech. Brooke was confused. She met her eyes with Ninaâs, who looked equally baffled.
âWait, whoâs Asia?â Nina asked. Akeria, to her credit, looked composed. To be fair, Brooke had hardly ever seen her look anything but.
âSheâs a friend from my course. We did a paired project together anâ she came over to the flat to work on it the other week,â Vanessa shrugged. âHer anâ Kiki seemed to hit it off.â
âI donât have a fuckinâ crush on the girl, Jesus. Donât make it weird,â Akeria rolled her eyes, blinking slowly. If Brooke squinted she mightâve spotted a flush to Akeriaâs face, but perhaps that came from the glow of the fire.
Monet muttered under her breath to Brooke and Nina as the three flatmates bickered away. âIs Akeria gay?â
Brooke blew out a bunch of air. âFuck, I donât even know whoâs what anymore.â
âSheâs never classed herself as straight,â Nina elaborated cautiously. âShe talks about getting dicked down by guys a lot. Then again, itâs really only Silky that does that and Keeks just joins in.â
âSilk and Vanj know something we donât,â Brooke reasoned, watching as the two girls laughed and Akeria sat, poised and smirking at them indulgently as if they were kids.
âRight, enough! âKeria, fuck marry kill: Vanjie, Silk or Asia, then,â Monet shrugged, sipping her mojito.
Akeria flipped some hair over her shoulder and tilted her head to the sky thoughtfully. âI honestly canât decide who Iâd rather kill, Silk or Vanj.â
âOh, so youâre gonna fuck or marry Asia, correct?â Vanessa quipped, a little fire igniting in Brookeâs heart as she watched a wicked smile spread across her scheming face.
âNo, I donât know her well enough to have any strong feelings towards her either way. You and Silk, howeverâŚâ Akeria raised her eyebrows long-sufferingly, coaxing a laugh out of the other girls. âUhh, right, marry Asia, or whatever. Kill Silky.â
âBitch! Iâll kill you for real,â Silky objected, pummeling Akeriaâs arm with a cushion.
âFuck Vanj because she likes girls anyway and if sheâs going down on me it means sheâs not talking with that fuckinâ gritter-truck voice of hers,â Akeria shrugged as she concluded, the room cheering and Vanessa doing a little celebratory bow. As she flipped her head up she caught Brookeâs eye, giving her a little wink. Brooke crossed her legs and tried not to think about Vanessa going down on anyone. Least of all her.
âAight!â Akeria said, indicating to everyone that her turn was well and truly over. âWe move.â
The bottle was spun once more, Brooke taking a long drink out of her bottle and draining it. She needed to be tipsier than this. Everyone else seemed a little more drunk than she was, apart from Vanessa who she noted was sipping her drink sparingly. Brooke shook her head a little, trying to stop bringing her focus to Vanessa every five minutes. Sheâd taken her heels off and tucked her legs up underneath her on the sofa, and her thighs looked good for it.
âPlastique, truth or dare!â
Plastique tucked her hair behind her ears. âUhh, dare.â
Brooke knew what to do for this one. Plastique had taken Ariel on a couple of dates, but the girls were emotionally stunted and neither of them had properly articulated their feelings to the other yet. âCall Ariel and tell her how you feel about her. Properly.â
As the other girls âoooh"ed in appreciation, Plastique fixed Brooke with an unimpressed glare. "Iâm not doing that.â
âPussy,â Brooke shrugged, sipping her other beer. Vanessa let out a laugh from the other side of the room.
âBrooke Lynnâs telling someone else theyâre a pussy for not being open about their feelings? Are we in the correct universe?"
As the other girls gave a laugh that was only the slightest bit uncomfortable, Brooke rolled her eyes. "Okay, well at the very least send her a heartfelt text.â
âWhy are you pushing this so much, ma?â Plastique pouted as she relented and reached for her phone.
âBecause Iâm bored of sitting in lectures hearing you moan about how you canât tell her how you feel because it would make it weird or how you donât want to come across too intense!"
"We all had to listen to you pine after Vanjie for two and a half years but we never forced you into admitting anything,â Plastique shrugged, the room erupting into shrieks. Brooke gave a choke of a laugh, wanting the ground to open up and swallow her. She knew her face was bright red without having to look in a mirror and, as much as her brain was imploring her not to, she found her eyes darting quickly to Vanessa to catch a glimpse of her face.
Calm, smiling tight-lipped and smug. As if sheâd won something.
âNo, but you did start a sweepstake about us so get off the high horse, thanks!â Brooke sing-songed back, the slight hint of irritation to her voice letting Plastique know she was to drop it. Us. The word felt weird in Brookeâs mouth, it hadnât been used in so long. Two and a half years. Had she really liked Vanessa for that long before everything had happened between them? Brooke had actually thrown away two and a half years of feelings for the sake of one feeling of indecision, a feeling that maybe they shouldnât have been a they any more?
For Christâs sake donât look at Vanessa.
âFine. Iâve put tonightâs really fun but I miss you, I always miss you when youâre not with me, hope you know how much I care about you. That heartfelt enough for you bitches?â Plastique muttered, embarrassed. Nina let out an âaawâ, Akeria made a sick noise.
âAcceptable,â Brooke shrugged, sipping on her beer again. Suddenly, a cheer went up from Akeria, Vanessa and Silky who could see who was coming through the living room door first. Yvie and Scarlet were walking close, holding a glass of red wine each and wearing matching poker faces.
âOh, here they are! Nice of you to finally join us!â Nina cheered, Scarlet giving a small smile and smoothing her dress down, sitting beside Yvie on the last remaining couch.
âAll the best people are fashionably late!â she shrugged. Yvie gave a snort and swept some hair over her shoulder to cover her neck. Brooke saw the action and jumped on it.
âNice neckwear.â
Yvie turned only slightly red. âThanks. Gucci.â
âHear that? Yvieâs girlfriend is Gucci. Not Tesco Finest. Gucci,â Monet nudged Nina, setting another laugh off amongst the girls.
âWeâre playing truth or dare,â Brooke explained to the two girls, as Plastique gave the glass bottle a bit of a pathetic spin.
âVanjie!â
Vanessa shook her head. âNah that spin was shit, it donât count.â
âLike hell it donât! Truth or dare, bitch?â Silky all but interrogated her. Vanessa thought about it for a moment, then decided.
âTruth.â
Brookeâ heart hammered in her chest. She hoped to God they wouldnât ask Vanessa anything about her, anything about them.
âWhatâs going on with you and Monique, Vanjie?â Monet asked dramatically, Akeria giving a cry of delight and thumping her hands against her thighs.
Great.
As the room broke out into eager laughter, Vanessa just smiled.
âWell, Monique and I are good friends, andâŚwe get on well. We both been, y'know, unlucky in love a lilâ, soâŚâ Vanessa trailed off, the room giving little chokes of anticipation and Brookeâs stomach twisting. ââŚif itâs one in the morning and one of us is maybe still upâŚy'knowâŚâ
Monet gave a tiny squeal through her teeth. Brooke wanted to wedge herself in between the sofa cushions and not emerge again til May of next year.
âY'know, Moniqueâs very confident, very sure of herself, anâ that'sâŚy'know, itâs attractiveâŚâ Vanessa trailed off, running her tongue over her teeth. Brooke knew that face, remembered the time when that face used to get directed at her before theyâd fall into bed together, frantic kisses planted along collarbones and clothes discarded over the uneven floorboards of Vanessaâs room.
âBut whatâs actually going on? Youâve said so much but not actually said anything,â Yvie let out an unimpressed laugh. Vanessa composed herself and sat up straight, taking a rare sip of her drink.
âWell, we get on well. Sheâs a good person. And weâre friends,â Vanessa smiled coyly, causing the girls to laugh uproariously.
âOkay, okay, we all see it! We all get it!â Monet laughed, the knife twisting in Brookeâs stomach. Could it have been more obvious that they were obviously having each other in every type of position imaginable with any chance they got, or was it just Brooke being paranoid? She thought back to what Monet had said in the car earlier and concluded that, occasional hits of the bong aside, she was not being paranoid by any stretch of the imagination.
The game rolled along. Nina was made to do something vague and embarrassing with Monet that Brooke forgot quickly (or perhaps blocked out), Scarlet was forced to admit (rather proudly, Brooke thought) that her and Yvie had quickly fucked upstairs in the time theyâd been away, and a few other of the girls did a couple of bland truths. As much as the bottle spun and spun, it never seemed to point Brookeâs way. Brooke was glad. She didnât want to admit or say anything, and she also didnât want to do anything remotely risky. However, when the bottle landed on Vanessa a second time, Brooke began to reconsider her thought process.
âDare,â Vanessa smiled, a glint of danger in her eye flashing quickly as she darted her eyes quickly to Brooke.
Brooke tried not to look at Nina as she spoke. âVanjie. Kiss the hottest girl in the room.â
âOh, thatâs a good one,â Plastique whispered quietly. It seemed as if the whole room held its breath. Brooke didnât know if she was grateful to Nina for the setup or whether she wanted to descend into the earthâs core. She knew Vanessa had answered this question before with this group of girls, she knew that Vanessa thought the answer was her. But that was before everything had changed. Brooke felt her pulse race as Vanessa looked to the ceiling, deep in thought.
Slowly, she turned her gaze to Yvie and Scarlet.
âYvie,â she began, a small sinking feeling lodging itself in Brookeâs chest. âCan I kiss your girlfriend?â
Yvie smiled at Scarlet proudly, happy for the compliment. âDareâs a dare. Bring her back.â
âScarlet, can I get a lilâ smooch?â Vanessa laughed, Scarlet laughing back and motioning for her to sit beside them on the sofa.
âC'mere, friend,â she laughed easily, Vanessa crossing the room and joining them. Brooke remembered when Vanessa had kissed Scarlet before- in the nightclub, before they were together and before Yvie and Scarlet were together. She remembered how it made her feel- a little irritated and sad all in one. Looking back, she realised it was plain and simple jealousy, and she knew her feelings werenât going to change this time.
Quickly, Vanessa leaned in and met Scarletâs lips, kissing her gently but slowly, her hand resting on Scarletâs hip easily. It could only have been about three seconds long, but each one seemed to tick by agonisingly slowly, and Brooke hoped she wasnât showing any of her fucked-up emotions on her face. As the two girls pulled away and the others whooped and whistled, Scarlet made a face.
âBitch, all I tasted there was pepperoni. That was the least sexy kiss Iâve ever had.â
âYou loved it, hoe!â Vanessa laughed, retreating back to her seat. Desperate to look at anything but Vanessaâs face, Brooke watched Yvie and Scarlet. Yvie had the satisfied grin of a mafia mob boss as Scarlet whispered something in her ear, then smiled seductively, kissing her once, twice, three times, red lipstick meeting purple.
âWell if I wasnât bi before, I sure as hell am now,â Plastique fanned herself.
âWe are the cornerstone of Plastiqueâs sexual identity. Thatâs a fucking compliment!â Scarlet cheered, Yvie laughing and wrapping her arms around her.
âNah, you and Yvie are my parents. The Mums of the group,â Plastique explained.
âFuck off, weâre not the Mums!â Yvie laughed, outraged. âNina and Monet are literally right there!â
âHey! Thatâs not fair!â Nina cried, outraged at the perceived injustice.
âYeah, donât lump me in with this dork!â Monet yelled, laughing with the other girls as Nina swatted her on the arm.
âRight! Spin, Vanj,â Yvie ordered, the girl spinning the bottle round obediently. Brooke watched as the top of the bottle whizzed by her once, twice, three times, past Yvie, Scarlet, the Antigua Road girls, slowed down as it reached Plastique, edged past Monet and Nina and then came to rest on Brooke.
âAll RIGHT! About time this bitch spilt some tea,â Silky clapped in delight.
âBrooke,â Akeria said with the threat level of an MI5 employee. âTruth or dare?â
Brooke paused. Her go-to was usually a truth, however there was no way she was going for that this time, not while she was still a concrete mixer of feelings for Vanessa and not while there was a room full of people wanting to know exactly what was going on with them. She shrugged. âDare.â
âOkay-â Akeria tailed off, making to stop and think. A practically evil smile spread across her face as realisation dawned on her. âSame dare. Kiss the hottest person in the room. Ten seconds.â
Silky let out a scream, growing so excitable on the sofa that Vanessa was almost sent through the ceiling. Scarlet whispered something to Yvie on the sofa, both of the girls looking at Brooke intently. Plastique shouted over something to Akeria that Brooke couldnât hear. All she could focus on was how Vanessa had grabbed Silky and was laughing, but somewhat nervously. Her face had gone bright red. Brooke bit her lip. She thought back to their flirting in the cupboard earlier, how they were almost back to square one again, the weird bid Vanessa had made to make Brooke jealous. She could always kiss Yvie or Nina, take the easy way out. But the more she looked at Vanessa, the more drawn she became to her until before she knew what she was doing, Brooke had stood up from her place on the carpet and taken one, two, three steps to sit on the couch and look Vanessa in the eyes.
Brooke could hear everyone in the room screaming, and she knew Silky had run out of the room shouting incoherently, but all she seemed to hear was her blood roaring in her ears as Vanessa leaned in. Before she knew it, Brookeâs hand was resting on Vanessaâs bare thigh and they were kissing each other, slow and deep and lazy and in a way that Brooke never wanted to end. She felt Vanessaâs tongue licking at hers gently and immediately felt a throb of heat between her legs as she remembered 3ams spent between her sheets and Vanessaâs head buried between her thighs.
Christ, this was a bad idea, this was a bad idea-
âZERO! And yâall can officially cut that shit out,â Brooke suddenly felt herself being wrenched away from Vanessa, Akeriaâs voice cutting through her hazy thoughts and bringing her back down to earth with a bump. Â
âWell, I feel like on that note,â Monet clapped her hands together decisively. âIâm away out to drink in the hot tub. Anyone else?â
One by one the girls agreed, dashing out of the room excitedly, and it was obvious to Brooke that everyone would be talking about what had just happened. Vanessa had run off quickly, her hand in Silkyâs as the two dashed upstairs to get their swimwear on. The only girl that was left in the room as Brooke made to do the same was Akeria. She frowned at Brooke as they both left the room, a warning in her eyes which sent a chill down Brookeâs spine. Trying to ignore it, Brooke dashed upstairs, changed into her pink bikini and then ran outside to join the others. They wouldnât talk about her and Vanessaâs kiss if she was there, so the less time she was away the better. Brooke grabbed a third beer from the fridge on her way out to the garden, and as she stepped outside she noticed how the moon already hung huge and bright in the sky, how the grass already had a shine of cold wet on it, and how everything looked almost a little bit magic. Joining the others and sitting between Yvie and Plastique, she tried to ignore Vanessa sitting opposite her in a black bikini that looked equally sinful as the outfit sheâd been wearing before. Luckily the rest of the girls had no further desire to play drinking games, and talk instead turned to movies. Brooke didnât join in. She couldnât- too much was swirling around her mind, namely how good the kiss had felt. Scarlet had probably lied to make Yvie laugh- Vanessa had tasted like sugary coke, and the all too familiar scent of her perfume was still inexplicably clinging to Brooke. It had been weird to kiss after months of no contact at all. It had been a bad decision. Brooke had done yet another wrong thing.
So why did it feel somehow correct?
âRight!â Akeria said after a while, almost toppling over as she stood up. âI think Iâm gettinâ a touch of the hypothermias. Whoâs cominâ inside to watch Sister Act?â
âBitch! Thatâs like, my favourite movie. Hell yes,â Monet sprang up, knocking Nina off her lap and into the middle of the hot tub. The girls erupted in a laugh, Brooke almost dropping her beer into the water. One by one, they all filed out of the water. Brooke was the last one left. Admittedly she didnât want to leave- she was now tipsy enough to not feel the cold, and she could have lain back and stared at the white light of the full moon in the inky sky forever. Just as she was about to follow the others, she noticed that the second-to-last girl out of the hot tub was Vanessa. Brooke swallowed thickly, trying her best not to stare at how the small droplets of water clung to her thick thighs or how her tiny bikini barely covered her firm ass, or how her slick, wet hair cascaded down her back. Almost as if she could read Brookeâs mind, Vanessa slowly, tortuously turned around. She had a little wicked smile on her face, the kind she always used to wear when she flirted with Brooke. It made Brooke cross her legs and squeeze her thighs together.
âYou got a good enough view from there?â she asked, playfulness coating her words as she spread both her arms out to lean against the back of the hot tub.
This was bad. This was not good. Brooke couldnât flirt back. It would only lead to another really horrendous, catastrophic decision. Her mind was hot-wiring, and to her dismay she couldnât come up with any form of quick-witted comeback. Noticing how long it was taking her to reply, Vanessa gave a throaty laugh.
âHmm. Iâll take that as a yes, then,â she purred, crossing the water and sitting down close next to Brooke. Brooke tried her best not to choke as she took a sip from the bottle in her hand.
âThought you were going to watch Sister Act?â she asked, trying to sound casual but cringing at how nervous she sounded as the words left her mouth. Her blood pressure dialled up a notch as Vanessa laced her fingers together, placed her hands on Brookeâs bare shoulder, then rested her head against her fingers. Â
âI donât know. Think Iâd rather see whatâs so special about this view you love so much,â Vanessa murmured softly, Brooke not missing the way she rushed out the word âloveâ as if to distil any awkwardness. She didnât need to worry, though, because right now all Brooke could focus on was how good Vanessa looked in that black bikini, and how her red lipstick still clung to her plump lips as if it had just been applied, and her beautiful dark gaze from under her fake lashes.
âHmm. Itâs a pretty good view. Pretty beautiful,â Brooke found herself whispering, eliciting a sparkle from Vanessaâs eyes. Fuck. Shit. She shouldnât have said that, it just seemed to have happened, but with Vanessa sitting pressed up so close to her how else could she have possibly reacted? There was a small silence in which Vanessa gave a small giggle, looking down at the constantly popping bubbles. The jet stream pummeled Brookeâs back to bits.
âWhatâs funny?â she smiled cautiously. Vanessa looked at her, something nostalgic on her face.
âYour pickup lines are still cringey as fuck,â she smirked, Brooke rolling her eyes a little. She had to steer this conversation back to normality. Whatever the fuck normality was as far as her and Vanessa were concerned.
âThat wasnât a pickup line. If I was trying to pick you up, youâd know about it.â
âOh, I know about it, baby. Donâ worry,â Vanessa hit back instantly, Brooke taking the pet name like a fatal shot. Brooke knew that Vanessa knew what that word did to her in the right context with the right tone. Fuck. Bad idea, bad idea. She was determined not to lose whatever game this was. She would not do anything stupid. She would not ruin the tiny, small beginnings of this foundation of their friendship that they were gradually re-building. She would stand up and go inside and watch Whoopi fucking Goldberg dance about in a fucking habit and all would be right with the world again.
âTwo and a half years, huh? You had it bad, bitch, I never knew I had that kind of effect on you,â Vanessa laughed suddenly, Brooke trying not to blush as she remembered Plastiqueâs words from earlier.
âNot that youâre letting it go to your head,â Brooke shrugged, taking a sip.
Vanessa giggled again. Brooke wished she wouldnât. âNever.â
âGood compliment for you, I guess.â
âBetter than beaud,â Vanessa smirked, snorting a laugh as Brooke tipped her head back and cringed. As she quietly stopped laughing, Vanessa shrugged lightly. âAnâ I mean, nice to know Iâm the hottest girl in the room too.â
Brooke let out a small sigh at having to confront her decision. âI mean just because weâre not dating any more doesnât mean itâs not objectively true. By Western beauty standards you probably are the hottest girl in the room.â
Vanessa laughed again. âWestern beauty standards, my God. Iâm not even white, you dumb bitch.â
âYeah, butâŚyouâve got this gorgeous skin, and all your shiny hair. And your eyes that go all twinkly when youâre happy,â Brooke explained. Where was all this coming from? âAnd you have perfect white teeth, and the best smile. I feel like you light up the whole room when you laugh.â
Brookeâs heart gave a twinge as Vanessaâs face broke out into a smile, tilting her face to the side a little inquisitively. Brooke gave a little cough, aware of all the compliments sheâd given her. âAnd you have a really good figure as well, so, yeah.â
âOh, obviously. Well, we all know how much you like that,â Vanessa smirked cheekily, Brooke suddenly snapping her neck round to face her properly.
âWhat?â
âLiked that. Like, liked. Whatever. Weâre friends now, we can laugh about it,â Vanessa shrugged, the words coming out of her mouth confirming their status at once relieving Brooke and putting her on edge. They were back to being friends. This was what Brooke wanted, right? Vanessa still had the little cheeky grin on her face as she spoke again. âFriends who still kiss each other, apparently.â
âWell, you kissed Scarlet,â Brooke said, trying to make it as nonchalant as possible. Judging by Vanessaâs smug reaction, she hadnât succeeded.
âYou seem pressed.â
âNot pressed! Just saying,â Brooke tried to protest gently but felt she came on way too heavy.
âMhm. Thereâs just one problem about all this, thoughâŚâ Vanessa murmured, her tone charged with something that immediately made the hairs on Brookeâs arm stand on end, giving her goosebumps.
And then, with one fluid movement, Vanessa moved to straddle her.
Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit.
Brookeâs heart almost flatlined as Vanessa spoke, her face still wearing the tiniest cocky smile that Brooke so badly wanted to kiss off of her. âItâs kinda hard to try anâ be friends with you when I know what you look like with no clothes on.â
Brooke tried her best to keep her voice level. âWell, itâs also kind of hard to try and be friends with you when youâre flirting with me.â
âItâs also hard to be friends with you when I know what your kinks areâŚâ Vanessa brought her arms around Brookeâs neck and barely concealed a smile as she bucked her hips ever so slightly. ââŚMami.â
Brooke felt the tiniest hiss escape her lips, glad it wasnât the fuck that had immediately popped into her head.
âItâs kind of hard to be friends with you when youâre riding my thighâŚor when youâre coming on to me like this,â Brooke replied, keeping one hand firmly on the side of the hot tub and the other wrapped around the glass bottle in her hand so tight she thought it would smash.
âComing on to you?â Vanessa suddenly tipped her head back and laughed, Brooke immediately realising what sheâd said. âThat can be arranged, you want face, tongue or fingers?â
âFuckâs sake, Vanessa,â Brooke laughed softly, letting one of her hands drop down under the water and rest against Vanessaâs thigh. As Brookeâs thumb rubbed at her skin softly, she tried to reason with herself. Just because she was stroking Vanessaâs skin, and had her on top of her, and was basically talking dirty to her, didnât mean that anything was actually going to happen.
âI know you miss me, Brooke,â Vanessa said, her tone matter-of-fact as she straightened up a little in Brookeâs lap, Brooke eyeing the way her breasts were pushed up.
Brooke had to think carefully about her response. She knew sheâd hurt Vanessa, so she had to keep things light. âI mean, it kind of looks like you miss me, baby.â
Oh fuck, that pet name was a mistake. Vanessaâs smile was sultry as she pushed one of her hands into Brookeâs hair. âMe? Nah, Iâm just doinâ this because itâs fun. Moniqueâs treatinâ me very well.â
Jesus fucking Christ, Vanessa knew how to hit Brooke where it hurt. Brooke pursed her lips. She wanted to fight dirty, she would give as good as she got. âAnd thatâs why youâre cheating on her?â
Vanessa burst out laughing. âOh, bitch, please! Me and her arenât exclusive! We ainât even a thing! She vents to me about her ex, I vent to her about you, and then we fuck away our frustrations!â
A part of Brookeâs heart soared up into the black sky like a helium balloon. She didnât think sheâd shown her relief on her face until Vanessa gave a laugh. âSo. You ainât denied it.â
âDenied what?â
âThat you miss me,â she shrugged, giving a little look down at Brookeâs hands on her thighs. Brooke couldnât pinpoint when sheâd brought the other one down under the water but apparently she had done. Her throat was dry as she considered her response. Before she could get there, Vanessa threw her mind into chaos as she brought her hands back behind her head, fidgeted for a moment, then suddenly threw her bikini top across the decking. As Brookeâs gaze flicked down to Vanessaâs full breasts, the other girl brought one finger up and tilted her chin up to face her. The heat between Brookeâs legs was unbearable, and she felt her paper-thin resolve rapidly melting away. Vanessa smirked. âYou wanna kiss me so bad right now, donât you? Like you kissed me earlier. You canât even stay away.â
Vanessa seemed to edge closer to Brooke, although they were already so close that seemed an impossible feat. Brooke raised an eyebrow. âSee, I feel like if Monique fucked you as good as you say she does, you wouldnât be in my lap right now.â
Vanessa blinked slowly, mockingly. âOh, baby. You donât want to know the things I let her do to me.â
Brooke bristled. The tension between them and Vanessaâs teasing was getting her riled. âYouâre right, I donât.â
âAww. You jealous, baby?â Vanessa pouted. This was going to drive Brooke insane. Her mind constantly swung between this being a bad idea and a good idea, and she had no idea which it would settle on.
Brooke locked eyes with Vanessa, the other girlâs gaze a challenge. âNo.â
âYou sure? You seemed jealous when I kissed Scarlet earlier, I saw your face.â
âI donât get jealous,â Brooke repeated, holding her gaze with Vanessa. Their faces werenât too close but their bodies were, and Brooke felt as if she was a ticking time bomb.
âSo you ainât jealous of Monique?â Vanessa murmured inquisitively. Brooke shook her head, now unable to tear her gaze away from her lips which had felt so perfect against her own earlier. âYou ainât jealous of the fact she gets to ride my face and get my pretty lilâ tongue working her clit? You ainât jealous of the fact that itâs her name Iâm crying out when I cum on her fingers? You ainât-â
Frustrated, tense, and out of willpower, Brooke let out a low growl as she finally brought her hands up to Vanessaâs jaw and crashed their lips together, kissing her wildly and deeply and running her hands over every inch of Vanessaâs skin she was able to touch. She didnât even care that sheâd proven Vanessa right, because she had missed this, missed her, missed the way they just seemed to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and dear sweet fucking Jesus sheâd been an idiot to give up this sex. Brooke whined needily as she felt Vanessa pull away, the other girl laughing against her lips.
âYou donât kiss like a girl who ainât jealous,â Vanessa tutted, a satisfied smirk on her face. "Or one that donât miss me.â
Brooke ran her hands up and down her back and pouted. âShut up.â
âHmm. That ainât no way to talk to me if youâre planning on getting what you want, lilâ brat,â Vanessa raised her eyebrows, bringing one of her hands down to rub at Brookeâs hipbone. Brooke let out a whimper and bucked her hips. She needed Vanessa so badly, and her words were only making things worse. Or better.
âFuck, please, Vanessa, shit,â Brooke hissed, not caring about how pathetic and needy she looked now as she brought one of her hands up and rubbed a thumb over one of Vanessaâs nipples. Brooke felt her clit throb as Vanessa gave a little hum of delight at the contact. Her fingers had only been there for a second before Vanessa grabbed her wrist and held it down under the water, the sudden force causing Brookeâs eyes to grow wide.
âYou broke my fuckinâ heart anâ now you really think Iâm gonna make it that easy for you?â she barked a laugh, a guilty twinge tugging at Brookeâs rapid heart. âFuck that. I want to hear you beg me to fuck you. Youâre gonna have to work for me, baby. Shitâs on my terms.â
âFuck, Vanessa, I really donât give a shit how desperate I sound,â Brooke sighed, the shock of the prospect of Vanessa changing her mind about all this lighting a fire in Brooke. âPlease, please, please, please, baby, Iâm sorry, Iâll do anything you want, just fucking touch me, please-â
Brooke cut herself off with her own moan as Vanessa ran a hand down her body and lightly pressed two fingers against her, rubbing gently and making Brooke want to sob.
âGood girl,â Vanessa purred, Brooke writhing underneath her and completely past the point of thinking about any of the consequences of any of this. âYou miss me, donât you?â
âFuck, so much.â
âYou been missinâ this?â
âShit yes, so much.â
Vanessaâs eyes were dark as Brooke looked up at her. âNobodyâs gonna fuck you like me, are they?â
Brookeâs eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head, thinking that at this point if Vanessa asked her to get married she probably wouldâve booked the damn venue. âNo, only you, baby, fuck.â
âMm, such a good girl,â Vanessa smirked, Brookeâs clit giving a spasm as she thought now was really not the time to realise she had a praise kink. âI donât know, though. You seemed pretty sure you wouldnât miss me when you ended things.â
âI do miss you, 'Ness, I promise, Iâm sorry, Iâll beg on my knees if you want me to, I donât give a fuck, youâve been driving me crazy all nightâŚso fucking perfect, shitâŚ"
"MmâŚyou would look so pretty on your knees,â Vanessa leaned in and murmured into Brookeâs ear, pressing the lightest little kiss to her neck and almost sending Brooke over the edge before anything had even happened yet.
âIâll do whatever you want, baby, fuck, I want you to feel like youâre the most gorgeous fucking goddess in the world,â Brooke gasped as Vanessa brought her other hand down to touch herself, the sight of her working Brooke and herself into a frenzy the hottest thing sheâd seen in months. Her mind short-circuited, and she struggled to know if anything she said made any sense. âJesus Christ, Vanessa, please fuck me, I canât take much more-"
Pride glinted in Vanessaâs eyes before she leaned in and kissed Brooke, hot and wet with her fingers still rubbing and teasing her through the material. Pulling away, she motioned to the decking around the hot tub. âLie back then, baby.â
As Brooke almost drove her face into the decking in her haste to scramble out of the hot tub she ignored the little voice in the back of her head that told her everything about this was a bad idea, and instead focused on the one that screamed it was the best decision sheâd made in months.s