#n&s

My FIRST ship in N&S was actually George & Constance, but Orry & Madeline quickly overshadowed them.

After watching Books I & II, to hear that Madeline & George get together is jarring. Wasn't it supposed to be happily-ever-post-bellum?

Nope. 🥲

Orry didn't lose an arm; merely got a leg limp & bum knee. He wasn't shot in the head outside St. Petersburg, after their last scene together being arguing with Madeline that she return to Mont Royal; he lived & George got to see him post-Appomattox, & they found Madeline & their son & they ALL returned to Mont Royal. Yay!

But no one can ever stay happy, so some no-face Patrick-Swayze-stand-in got shanked in the street in the opening scene of "Book III." Then presumably the same happened to Constance in their bedroom.

I admittedly never read through all of Heaven & Hell the book. (No Orry & hardly any specific historical events meant it wouldn't even help for school. I should though. 🤔)

But I already did love both George & Madeline, & loved how they were hurting & grieving. George does literally show up with a carpetbag, & I expected- & he surely expected- that he was just going to pick up where he last left off right before the war: Investing in Mont Royal. Makes sense. It was the most recent thing that made sense. 'Let's get back to normal,' I guess.

[God, that over-excited run & hug outta nowhere when he shows up --- I get it now. 😭 That's how I ran & jumped at my friends the first time I'd see anyone again, always unexpectedly, after lockdown. Like OMG WE SURVIVED. I thought I'd never see you again & the world had fallen apart! 😭😭😭]

Only... Madeline's not Orry.

& Madeline's in charge now.

& even George has never been able to have the relationship HE had wanted with his best friend's "lover." He had to be the distraction ("Let me stand you to a mint julep and tell you all about [Pennsylvania]!"), the safe cover ("I'm your friend... I know a man who suffers much the same way you do. And I'm his friend too." 😉), the rational mind ("He's an arrogant ass but they're MARRIED, Orry, & there's nothing you can do about it." "I'd like to horse with him." "Oh, as would I. But it's neither the time, nor the place."). He couldn't just chat with her even when he was down to visit.

They learned about each other secondhand through Orry.

It's great for Madeline. She knows she can trust him wholeheartedly, that he's a gentleman, that he's clever & fair & obviously shares her abolitionist views that even Orry was at best reluctant to.

But George? He knows she's smart & outspoken & brave, but he knows that because of all that... That she's been abused. Maybe he knows the extent, but he probably doesn't, as she never even told Orry the full extent, but he can guess.

All of this unspoken, neither has a problem with him standing up for her where she's previously been ignored.

The familial love is back in the air, but only these 2 are left, & there's more tension here. He's your friend, & investor, & long-reach sister-in-law's brother-in-law, &... What MORE than that? There's also mutal grieving. Mutual hope. Mutual attraction. There's tension, chemistry...

Madeline's awkward & he's hesitant. Each time they get too close, she seems to have to calm herself down & remind herself that he's safe, that it would be alright. But then there's the horror of it's your [deceased] husband's best friend. Should she? Would George even want that? So she calms herself back all over again.

George wants to show her it's okay, while he also struggles with "omg it's my [deceased] best friend's WIFE." Should he? Would Madeline even want that? If she would, is he also going to have to independently fight her past demons himself now? Is that stepping on a (lol) Ghost's toes? What specific triggers could she have from her first abusive husband? He knows he has to be careful. He's already moved in on what's left of his best friend's plantation, his business- now his wife, too? He holds onto propriety.

BUUUT... The horrors of war may be over, but now they're toiling away at the land in the heat themselves in the struggle of reconstruction, & everything with the farming is frustrating & someone's trying to be shifty about mineral rights so they may lose everything anyway?

FUCK IT! We're doin it!

And it's perfect!

She bald-face steps into his personal space in her nightgown, & asks, "What do you dream about?" She's ready & open to it. Not even scared of his Libby prison nightmares.

He's relieved, & pointedly marks the line between the before times and after: "I dream of you, as you are now."

No disrespect to either of their deeply beloved spouses, their once-in-a-lifetime loves, but, he does want her. With no more confusion or confliction over the past vs present.

& HE'S not Orry, either.

He's faster, rougher. She needs a moment here and there to acclimate, but she keeps signaling him on: removing his shirt, scratching his back, hugging his neck, & obviously kissing back & humping back.

His every move is so starkly different, but still loving. Still a desperate outpouring of love tinted with sadness, but there are no social rules holding them back this time. She's an octoroon, a divorced AND widowed mother? He's a northern investor, former Union General, widower & father? Who gives a fuck anymore! The world's fallen apart & THEY get to rebuild it.

Where Orry was either submissive to her or moved in tentative slow motion, George pins her to the wall & grabs her & moves her around. -- The opposite of how Orry took care of the business, but now George defers to her.