#mywritting

-----------------

"..Hh-hH'!! hAH'ZZDcHh!! hA'DzcHH!!"

Fuck. Those were the roughest he's had for today.

Gojo stares burry at his ceiling. The fan in the middle has 3 blades. If Gojo didn't know better, he'd say there were 5 instead.

His head hurt, everything hurt. He was sure he was sweating, but everything felt so cold.

..Must be a side effect from the fever, then.

Gojo sighed. It's been awhile since.. since-

"..hiH'tcHH!! haH'zZdchH!!"

-Since he had fallen sick. The last time.. the last time he had fallen sick..

It was only bearable because someone had been there.

Of course.

Gojo turns over to his table, the action taking up most of his energy. With what little he had left, Gojo reaches clumsily for his phone. It almost slips out of his trembling fingers as he flips it open.

The brightness from the screen stung his eyes, causing him to turn to the side to muffle a fit of photic sneezes into the back of his palm.

At least.. at least those didn't ruin this throat as much as-

"..heH'EshH'iww!! ..snff-!"

-As those did.

All the sweating he was doing now was probably due to his fever breaking, but Gojo wasn't so sure.

His brain loved to overheat, and while he would gladly heal any damage done to it with his reversed cursed technique, he was pretty sure this damned cold did not count as an injury.

How unfortunate.

He ate the last of his fever medicine 5 hours ago.

How unfortunate.

Although he was never one to back down from a challenge, even Gojo knew he would never make it further than the front door, if he could even manage to stumble out of his room.

"..hih'tchh!! hAH'DzcHh!! ..hH'!! ..haah.. ..snff-!! hh.."

Great. It's stuck. His body must straight up hate him.

In all honesty, Gojo figures that he deserves it. Who was it again? That said his body would give in if he didn't get enough sleep?

Right.. it was Nanami..

Nanami..

Nanamin!

Squinting at his phone screen, Gojo selects the 'contacts' option on his phone. He slowly scrolls down to the 'N' section, eyes gazing over a few painful contact names that he had yet to delete.

Even after all this time, he still couldn't just let go.

His finger hovers over the call button of Nanami's contact. Would he pick up? It's his off day after all. He knows how much Nanami treasures those.

Small breathers from the hectic world of Jujutsu. In fact, 'hectic' was putting it lightly.

Well, it's not like he was ringing Nanami up for anything stupid, like he normally does. Though, with that being said, this would count as something utterly stupid.

Nevermind that.

-----

Stepping out of the bakery, Nanami feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Stopping in his tracks, he pulls it out, scowling at the name that appeared.

What did that annoyance (affectionate) want this time?

He lets a few more rings pass before picking it up, expecting to hear Gojo's obnoxious voice seep through the phone, no doubt to ask him out on another infuriating shopping trip.

Instead, he was met with silence.

Sensing that something was wrong, Nanami made his way to a more secluded area. Was there trouble?

"Gojo-san? Are you there?"

Nanami listens to the other side of the line carefully. But all he hears is soft, even breathing.

"..Gojo-san."

The breathing slowly turns into the sound of ruffling cloth, before a small string of inaudible mumbles could be heard.

"Nanamiin..?"

Nanami felt a pulse in his head. Seriously. Did he just wake up or something?

"..You called me?"

"I did..? Oh.. right I.. I dihH-..G'xxt!! ..did, didn't I? ..ahh, wait.. let me remembHh'!! ..h'NgxXt!! hh-G'nt!! ..aggnh, Nanamin I'm s' srry, haah-"

Instead of replying, Nanami's eyebrows furrowed. That voice was definitely Gojo's, but just what was he blabbing on about?

And those sudden, breathy sounds, punctuated by.. a weird, heavy noise. What were those?

"Are you okay?"

"Mm, no. Not really. Actually.. Nanaminn, can you come over?"

"No."

"..P-G'nXt!! ..Please?"

"I'm not falling for your tricks again."

"N-No tricks.. Nanamiin, pleease.."

Nanami sighs, wondering why he even decided to go back as a teacher in the first place. Why didn't he just delete Gojo's contact all those years ago?

"Fine."

"Yaay, Nanamin!!"

Nanami sighs again (he does this a lot when he's dealing with Gojo), finger reaching over to end the call when-

"Naanaminn, can you also bring some fever medicine overr? I.. ran out."

Fever medicine?

He opens his mouth to ask about that, but was only met with the monotonous beep of an ended line.

-----

The phone slips out of his fingers, dropping onto the floor with a thud that thankfully sounded like the item didn't crack into pieces.

All he had to do now was wait.. huh.

Gojo felt his eyelids slide shut. He tried to force them open to no avail. Seriously.. when was the last time he felt this bad?

..It was probably way back then, when he had gotten stabbed through his neck down to his knees, left bleeding out on the ground.

His eyes slowly slid shut, plunging him into darkness.

Darkness..

...

..Satoru-

..Satoru-!

Gojo suddenly jolts awake, the sudden movement sending him curled into himself with a fit of coughing, the scene that woke him up from his nightmare still dancing behind his eyelids.

..10 years.. or was it 11? 12? How long has it been since that day? How long has it been since he was last shook awake from a similar nightmare, tears streaming down his eyes, unstoppable?

Seriously.. this fever might just prove to be more of a nuisance than he originally gave credit to.

Lost in his thoughts, Gojo barely managed to register the sound of his front door opening. Even in his tired state, his body unconsciously prepared to fight, a thin layer of Infinity forming around himself.

"Gojo-san?"

With a weary smile, Gojo dropped his defenses. He recognised that voice anywhere.

"You left your front door unlocked." Nanami sounded pissed off. No matter, the most important part was that he came. He came..

"Ahh.. did I?"

"I'm serious. What if someone had broken in?"

Gojo felt himself relax as the shadow of Nanami's form stretched pass his doorway. "Nobody would do such a thing.. I'm sure. To non.. s-sorcerers, I'm a nobody. And n-nobody else knows I live hhH'!! ..here. Except you."

"That's not an excuse."

"Lighten upp, Nanamiin, I'm fiiine. Anywayy, I'm so glad you camee- I was convinced you would've ignored me for goood."

"..."

Based on the scene in front of his eyes, Nanami could easily conclude that Gojo was, indeed, not fine. Not in the slightest.

But even he knew it was futile to argue with the other, even in the.. state he was currently in.

"..Hh-G'nX'cthh!! ..hiH'gnXshh'!!"

"Bless you." Nanami sighed. So those sounds over the phone were sneezes, then.

Gojo removed the fingers pinching his nose, waving them dismissively.

"I'm fhH'!! ..fine, don't worhH'!! ..worr'hH-!! ..hiH'gx-ShHe'w!!"

Nanami found himself wincing at the effort it seemed to take Gojo to keep those quiet.

Seriously, of all the people he knew, including those he used to know, Gojo was never one to stifle.. unlike-

"Na-na-min! Did you bring what I asked for?"

"..Mm. Fever medicine, right?"

"Ahh- thank youu!! How much do I owe y-you?"

"Consider this a gift."

"How kind!"

Nanami stares, unbelieving, frozen by the doorway. Despite his distance away from the bed, he could clearly see how badly Gojo was faring. The disheveled hair, reddish hue surrounding his cheeks and nose, the fact he was lying down instead of bouncing around the room.

Why? Why was he always trying so hard to seem fine? Even after all this time, why?

Finally making his way inside, Nanami drops the plastic bag into Gojo's open palm.

"..Oh..You bought the solid kind."

"Huh?"

Gojo slowly removes the box, shaking it in the air. "..Solid.. pills."

"Yes." Was the fever messing with Gojo's brain? What was he asking?

Nanami watches as a pout forms on the other's face. It would have been quite comical, if not given the current circumstances.

"Nanamiin, I can't swallow pills that are this big, remember? Liquid.. do you have liquid ones?"

Ah.. right. Nanami remembers having this conversation with someone before, about how Gojo couldn't take solid medicine to save his life. He remembers the conversation, from ages ago. The conversation with.. with-

"I'll get water for you." Nanami turns to leave, shaking the image of that Someone out of his mind.

"Ah- Nanamin! Wait!"

Nanami found himself freezing at the sudden desperation in Gojo's voice. The tone of a scared child. When was the last time he heard that sound come from the other..?

"What is it?" His own tone softened, a subconscious reaction.

"..Don't go, please."

Once again, Nanami finds himself speechless. A few seconds pass, before Gojo cleared his throat, eyes looking everywhere except where the other was standing. Embarrassment?

"..Sorry.. I- that- that came out by itself, haha-"

Nanami sighs. Through all the years they had known each other, Gojo had always been an easy read due to his expressiveness. Although.. there were some people could read him better than others.

Nanami was one of these people. Possibly one of the few that were left, at that. It was to be expected, especially since the two of them were all each other had years ago.

Turning back to face the bed, Nanami shrugs off his coat, gently pressing it into the mattress next to Gojo's head.

"Mm.?" Gojo looked up at him, confused.

"..Look after this for me, I'll be right back."

"Ah, of course."

Turning to leave the room once again, Nanami was met with no sounds of displeasure this time.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Gojo's fingers wrap tightly around his coat, watched as Gojo brought the article into his chest, face buried into its collar.

Nanami felt his eyes soften at the sight. Even after all these years, Gojo never really grew up.

He was still the senior that greeted Nanami with that stupid smile on the first day of school, the friend who had comforted him when he was crying his eyes out, the friend who needed the comfort when it was his turn to cry his eyes out, and now the colleague who loved his students more than words could describe.

All of that put into the shivering body on the lonely bed.

"..heh'shHEiw!! hiH'gSsH'iww!! hH'!! ..snff- hH'dZzchH!!"

The corridor was quiet, Nanami could hear every little sound coming from the bedroom. Gojo must've thought he was in the kitchen by now, judging by how he was no longer stifling.

..How considerate.

"hiH'dzZch'iww!! ..H'tchh! aH'ngsHE'iw!!"

Nanami decides that he would grab a box of tissues from the living room. He doubts that Gojo even had any in his room.

Honestly.. his level of self care was off the charts at times. There was only so much his technique could heal. Cuts, bruises, fractures. Not colds, not fevers, not broken hearts.

That's what Nanami was there for.

It was decided then. He would stay over until Gojo was back on his feet. Nodding to himself, Nanami reaches for a cup, filling it with water.

He should probably leave for a grocery run after Gojo goes to sleep. He wonders if the other had even eaten a bite after this had started.

Probably not.

"..h'gShHE'iww!! hAH'dZzcHH!! snff- g'tchh! 'tchh! 'zztch! h'gtch!!"

As Nanami approached the room, the fits of sneezes progressively got clearer and clearer. The last couple sounded itchy, he noted.

Like Gojo's photic fits.

He remembers the first time he witnessed one, remembers the tears that gathered at the edge of Gojo's eyes under the sun.

He remembers that period of time years ago where Gojo would always misplace his sunglasses.

Before that, it never used to be a problem, since a Someone would always be there to make sure he didn't lose them, to make sure they were always covering his sensitive eyes.

After that Someone was erased from their lives, Nanami took over. He was the one that gave Gojo the idea of wearing a blindfold instead.

..Perhaps 'erased' was a little too strong of an expression. 'Slipped' would have been a better word.

He slipped from both their lives, both of them did.

"Gojo-san.?"

Nanami peeks into the room, the sight in front of him tugging at his heart.

Gojo had curled even his legs up to his chest, the long coat tangled between his limbs. There was a small, damp patch on the collar of the clothing right below where Gojo's nose was.

Nanami found himself not caring too much about that fact. He was just glad. Glad that he was able to provide the other with some comfort.

People often forgot that Gojo was human too. Despite how he was extremely immature and smiling all the time, Nanami didn't know of another who went through as much pain as he did.

Sometimes, it was almost like Gojo himself too, forgot that he had limits.

"Ahh- Nanamin.. welcome back!"

You don't have to force yourself to sound so cheery all the time.

"I'm sorry I made such a fuss just now, you did nothing wrong."

You don't have to apologise for anything.

"I owe you one."

No. Nanami presses the cup gently to Gojo's lips. You don't owe me anything. It was my pleasure.

When Gojo struggled to get the pills down, Nanami stayed by his side, rubbing comforting circles into his back.

He didn't know what else to do, what else to say.

Nanami stares into Gojo's dull blue eyes, the colour muted due to his fever. He remembers the last time Gojo's eyes wore a similar shade. He remembers not knowing what to do then as well, except to stay by Gojo's side.

"I'm really glad you came, Nanamin."

Maybe this was all Gojo needed after all, someone to support him. Maybe this was enough.

"Thank youu-"

Nanami hummed in reply, setting the cup down as Gojo dissolved into another small coughing fit.

"You're welcome."

"Juice would have been better t-thouhH'!! ..hih'G'Nxt!! 'NgxXt!! ..snff-"

Instead of biting back with a quick "the only thing you have in your kitchen is coffee and sugar cubes", Nanami pulled a tissue out of the box, pressing it to Gojo's nose softly.

"N-anamin?! I.. I can..hH'!! ..do that myself-"

"I'll let go if you promise to stop stifling."

"Hah? What do you mhH'!! hIH'KsShh'iw!! ..snff- heH'DzZtchH!! ..fuck. I'm so sorry-"

Nanami gently wiped the edge of Gojo's nose before pulling the tissue away, replacing it with a fresh one.

"W-Wait.. NahH'!! ..Nanamin-! Be carfhH-!"

Turning as far away from Nanami as he could in their current position, Gojo clasps a shaky hand over the one on his nose, his breath hitching desperately.

"..N'GsHH'iww!! hIH'tCHH-w!! hH'!! ..haaH.. nngh-..heK'sHh!! t'chh!! dzZtchH!!"

Pulling away once more, Nanami pulled a few more tissues from the box, this time handing them straight to Gojo.

"..Always thinking ahead, hm? How'd you know to get these from outside?"

"Your sneezes always get rather messy." Nanami wants to say, but he remains silent.

"..I'm sorry you had to see that, anyway."

"Don't worry about it."

"Mmh.. I'm a little tired."

"You should get some rest then."

"Yeah.. join me?"

Not expecting that response, Nanami stares blankly at Gojo for several seconds, before his eyes travel down to his wrists, where Gojo had already latched his fingers around.

Not like he had the option to deny the request..

..That's not it, Nanami thinks as he shifts to lift the covers. Even if he had the option to say No, he still would have picked Yes.

Finally setting down next to the other, Gojo shifts his grip from Nanami's wrists to around his waist, pressing his damp nose into the crook of Nanami's neck, lips on his collarbone.

"Na-na-min."

"Hm?"

"Thank you. For coming, and for staying."

"..."

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"..Promise?"

"Yes."

The grocery shopping could wait.

--end--

----------------

finishing notes: idk if the whole "gojo used to be with geto, and he still misses him" implication spoiled the nanago vibe of this fic

if it did, ahjhaesd IM SO SORRY

but i really, really REALLY, couldn't stop thinking about gojo and nanami using each other to heal from whatever tragedy befell upon them in the hidden inventory/premature death arc, and how they healed each other until eventually getting together.

that's all i have for now, thanks for reading!

Now I get to back to my week of examinations! Totally didn't spend hours writing this instead of studying for Economics! <3 <3

.

.

.

(the parts from Kaveh’s pov was very choppy since i wanted to try to make it seem like he was disorientated)

also kaveh’s snezes were mostly in smallcaps because hes tired

-

Alhaitham was already pissed the moment he came home. Dishes stacked up taller than him, clothes strewn all around the living room, blueprints scattered across the floor, the culprit nowhere in sight.

Speaking of which, where was his annoying roommate? It wasn’t like Kaveh to leave the house this early into the day since all he did was go out and drink, with Alhaitham’s money, no less, and the bar did not open until night.

Perhaps Kaveh had actually found himself some work to do. Alhaitham felt himself scoff at that thought. The day that Kaveh really went out and got a job would be the day that Alhaitham finally plucked up the courage to confessed to him — never; impossible.

It was how it was, how it will always be. Kaveh would always do something to mess with Alhaitham, they’d argue, Kaveh would go and drink for hours, but he would always come home. Even if Alhaitham had threatened to kick him out moments before.

He blames it on his horrible taste in men that makes his heart beat so fast whenever Kaveh is around him, blames it on the fact Kaveh shines so bright; “Light of the Kshahrewar”. 

He blames it on the fact he had let Kaveh stay at his house at all. But he wanted it, wanted that proximity for reasons he could not understand. It frustrated him, these feelings which he couldn’t quite put a name to.

Why he felt so strongly for Kaveh escapes him.

But back to the matter he had on hand, his roommate would never learn to pick up after himself if Alhaitham just did his chores for him. It was still early, he could wait all day for Kaveh’s return.

And that’s just what he did, propping a leg up onto the coffee table as he read a good book.

-

Kaveh just wanted to lie down.  

His head had been hurting for a few days, and his throat had started to feel off since last night after his arguing session with the most infuriating Scribe in the whole of Sumeru, who also happened to be his roommate.

He had left the house in the morning after adding a plate to the tall pile of dishes at the sink, partly to piss Alhaitham off, but also partly because he wanted to head to the pharmacy as soon as possible to get something for his head.

Trust Alhaitham to be the only person he knows who does not have a stockpile of medicine at home on standby.

But they could argue more about that later, for there was a bigger problem right in front of him. 

“...”

“Out of Stock? You’ve got to be kidding me..”

The shop assistant looked at him apologetically, having sold the last bottle to the customer before Kaveh. And so there he was, back onto the streets with nothing left to do. Kaveh remembers feeling the same way until Alhaitham took him in.

Alhaitham.. Kaveh didn’t even know where to begin when it came to him. Everything the man said made sense, but yet it also did not. Sure, patterned curtains made no difference when it came to fulfilling their purpose, but plain ones were just so.. unartistic. It had taken a week of arguing for Alhaitham to finally allow Kaveh to install some new ones in his own room. 

Just thinking about the whole ordeal made Kaveh’s head pound a little harder. While he would have opted to head to the doctor, the bill would have exceeded his budget. And he would rather die than let Alhaitham know he wasn’t feeling well when he settled the payment.

Then, a thought struck him: a friend did say that the nearby Liyue Harbor had a pharmacy that sold many different types of medicine. Not like he had much of a choice at that moment, though. Right, it was just a quick walk over and back, simple enough.

And simple it was, until it started to drizzle, the weather as unpredictable as Alhaitham during this part of the year.

Ah.. there he goes again, thinking of that stupid Scribe every second of the day. Truly, even Kaveh sometimes did not understand what went on in that brilliant mind of his and his. But still, he longed to hurry home, to be near the damned person that tormented him with every step he took.

Dark clouds blanketed the sky, making it appear darker than it should, even this late into the night. Unconsciously, Kaveh reached up to rub his nose a little, feeling a light breeze drift pass him.

“Heh- Nn..hHaH’ Hih-hAtchuu’! snf.. hAH’tchH!!” 

He was shivering now, stepping carefully towards his front door. The half-a-day walk had left him more exhausted than Kaveh would ever admit. Alhaitham’s shoes were already there, not surprising since it was already way past dinner time. What was surprising though, was the light that still streamed out off the window. 

Subconsciously, Kaveh frowns. It was late, judging by how far the moon had risen into the sky. He hoped Alhaitham wasn’t once again pulling an all-nighter. Those tended to leave him tired and irritable for the next few days despite how much he denied it. While Kaveh would definitely not want to deal with a tired-tham, he also wanted his junior to look after himself. 

How stupid of him, he supposes, since Alhaitham could care less about the people around him, much less himself. And yet Kaveh still kept running back to him everyday, sleeping in the same house with but a wall between them.

With a sigh he turns his key with a slight sniffle, the small lion keychain wet from the rain.

-

Alhaitham hears the lock, and he almost springs up to answer it. It was way too late for Kaveh to just come waltzing through the door as if nothing had happened. But instead he chose to remain as unbothered as possible, staring blankly at his book.

The dishes would not clean themselves, Kaveh would have to do them. Yes, that was the true reason why he had stayed up this late, to watch Kaveh wash plates, that was all, nothing more.

The door opened with a creak, but the head of golden hair did not pop out to start a shouting match.

Behind the short hallway between the door and the living room, Kaveh hung up his coat and kicked off his shoes, not caring where they landed. Now that he as home, the warmth and dryness of it all made all his pent up exhaustion catch up to him. 

Kaveh sniffled, softly, bracing a hand onto the wall as his head started to spin. When was the last time he ate? Lunch? He ate a small bread for lunch. Dinner? He spent most of the day traveling to Liyue and back didn’t he.. Maybe there was something in the fridge he could-

“Hitc’Hh!! hH.. eH’ Hih- tchiw!! hAtcH’ngXt!! ssnf-!” 

Quickly, Kaveh pinched those away, afraid that Alhaitham would be alerted by his arrival home. He would hate to be seen in this state. However, as if on cue, Kaveh heard the sound of a book being slammed shut.

“Kaveh.” 

The voice sounded impatient. Had he done something wrong? He couldn’t remember. Alhaitham sounded more angry than usual. What was it? Think brain, think!!

“Kaveh. I thought I told you to wash the d-”

Alhaitham rounded the corner, arms crossed, but stopped when he saw the small frame clinging onto the coat rack. Kaveh looked worse than when Alhaitham had picked him off the streets. The Kaveh he was looking at now was pale, hair and clothes soaked through and stuck to his skin. Had Kaveh always looked this frail? 

And for once, Alhaitham froze, not sure what to do. To reach out or to observe? Which would Kaveh want him to do, which would he be okay with him doing? His fists clenched in uncertainty. 

Maybe he should-

“What? D- Did you.. snff! say something..?” Kaveh struggled to raise his head, the ceiling lights looking brighter than ever that they shone straight into his skull. He just wanted to lie down, badly.

Alhaitham felt his insides tighten as Kaveh picked himself up. Suddenly, all thoughts about the dishes vanished from his mind. “It’s.. nothing..”

“O-oh.. alright, I’ll go s-shH! shower then..” Kaveh mumbled weakly. Talking hurt more than it should, and it took all his strength to stumble towards his room without falling all over the carpet.

Alhaitham watched as Kaveh’s shadow disppeared into the room. The door was swung shut but not closed, and he caught a glimpse of Kaveh gripping the side of his desk to balance himself. Drunk? Was he drunk? It wasn’t uncommon for Kaveh to come home like this, an absolute mess, clumsy on his feet.

“Hih’hAtchh!! hAH’ngXXt!! hH.. h’ snff!! hiT’Dchw!!

“hiH’tcHhuu!! snf! nh..”

But something was different, wasn’t it?

Alhaitham stared at the small crack in the door, at Kaveh, who removed a small cylinder from his pocket. He watches as Kaveh shakes it, removing two pills. Medicine? So Kaveh hasn’t been feeling well. But how long has it been? Days? Weeks? Why didn’t he say anything about it?

He remembers back when Kaveh just got off the streets, remembers when Kaveh came down with a fever on that same day, remembers how Kaveh had struggled for his life to swallow even the tiniest bit of the solid medicine that Alhaitham had to crush it down for him.

So Kaveh was feeling that bad that it pushed him to take not one but two? How had he not noticed? In his defense, Kaveh had been acting as usual for the past week. Their arguments flowed as usual, as did Kaveh’s irresponsibility with cleaning up after himself.

Lost in his thoughts, Alhaitham heard Kaveh panting softly. He imagined how Kaveh would be behind the door, a palm pressed against his throat, forcing himself to pretend that there was nothing but water in his mouth, just water, just swallow.

He heard Kaveh choke a little, and was overcome by the want to be by his side, rubbing between Kaveh’s shoulders to tell him that everything was going to be alright and that he was there. But Alhaitham couldn’t move, so he watched silently.

-

Kaveh’s eyes were watering. It was one thing to take the medicine, but it was another to take it quietly. After muffling a few coughs into his elbow, he shoved the bottle to the far end of his table, behind the stack of canvas, just in case.

He reached for a piece of tissue, holding it against his nose as he walked to the bathroom. He needed to bathe and sleep off this cold, for he was sure that Alhaitham would question him about last night in the morning. Kaveh liked moments like those, where his roommate would ask about him, making it seem like he cared.

Kaveh liked to pretend that he did.

“hiH’hAtchh!! hH-Hh.. ah’H.. ah..” he sighed, rubbing the tissue a little harder. “Hah’nnh.. snff- hH’! ugnn..” He needed to sneeze, the bathroom tiles felt cold to his feet, his clothes were suddenly too tight. He had to get them off, but they were wet and clung to him. 

His train of thought was messy; the water was warm on his back. Kaveh hunched over in the shower, arms pressed against the wall in front of him, helping him stand up straight.

He gasped, desperate.

“hiH’IHh- hHH!! Snnff.. hH’ hAH-zZchww!! hH’Tchh!! hhH-aH’dtcHhh!!” The mist from his nose mixed with the vapour from the water flowing down his back. He shivered; not hot enough. He switched it off.

Back in his room, Kaveh toweled himself down shakily. How long would it take for the medicine to kick in? How long has it been? Was it morning already? Has Alhaitham left for work? Was he once again all alone in this house? His nose was running again, Kaveh noticed but didn’t care. He pressed a sleeve of his pajamas against his face, tunneling under the blankets.

Still not warm enough..

-

The walls of his house were thin, Alhaitham knew, and he heard everything that came from Kaveh’s room despite moving to the kitchen. He had tried to busy himself with the dishes (the responsibility being entrusted now to him), but that didn’t stop the thoughts from creeping up on him.

Kaveh is sick. 

His hands stopped moving, fingers squeezing the soapy sponge. That idiot. Switching off the tap, Alhaitham moved to the other counter, prying open the drawers for ingredients to make soup. He doesn’t know if Kaveh had eaten already or not, he also doesn’t know if Kaveh would even accept it, but it put his mind at ease.

Two clicks from the stove later, the soup was starting to simmer. Alhaitham carefully placed the lid on top, allowing a small gap for the steam to rise. It would be done in a couple of hours. In the meantime, he would pack up the mess that Kaveh left the living room in.

He started with the clothes, the same white shirt that he wore everywhere. The collar line was far too low and exposing in Alhaitham’s opinion, but he wouldn’t say that he hates it, being able to see Kaveh’s chest. The only problem was that everyone else could as well. He picked it up, moving on to the red cape that lay draped over the couch. The first time he touched it, Alhaitham remembered being in shock at how soft it was despite its sturdy appearance. 

It’s iconic red color together with it’s pattern and broad tassels made the cape look so much more than just a item of clothing. Maybe that was why Kaveh was so proud to wear it; he loved to steal the spotlight, whether intentionally or not.

He folded them, and moved on to the floor.

“Haitham!! What do you think of these?” 

Alhaitham could almost hear Kaveh’s voice as he crouched down to pick up the blueprints. “It’s a rough sketch of what I think a school building should look like!” Alhaitham remembers what had sparked that project. The two of them were walking around the city when a couple of children ran into Kaveh. Kaveh laughed and brushed it off, before watching them disappear into the school.

Alhaitham remembers watching Kaveh’s eyebrows furrow when he took in the state of the budling, all the beautiful features on his face scrunching up in disapproval. “Really, they ought to take better care of a place like that.”

The moment Kaveh reached home that day, he whipped out his pencils and started working. And when he was done, he was proud. “Haitham! Doesn’t this look way better?”

And when Alhaitham had scoffed at his masterpiece,

“What do you mean ‘design doesn’t matter’? Maybe to you it doesn’t, but to those students, I think it will matter. When children are still young, they are so filled with curiosity, and that dull school building doesn’t boost that at all! Think about it Haitham, making sure that that creativity within each child doesn’t burn out, that’s what education should really be about.” 

Alhaitham remembers being at a loss for words, remembers looking into Kaveh’s eyes to see the sparks within them. Pride towards the future generation of students, the same pride Kaveh had when he finally graduated, only to become bankrupt in the following years after chasing his dream.

Don’t you ever learn when to back down? Alhaitham feels a smile creep onto his face. He supposes he isn’t much different.

The soup is finally done.

-

“Mmf..ah.. nnhH’! snnf- snff!! hhH..ihh!!”

Kaveh feels himself being pulled out of sleep. Everything felt heavy, too cold yet he was sweating. His head weighed a ton, and his nose.. his nose-

“Hih’tchh! heh’zchw!! eh-heH’tchzw!!”

“hh-! eh’tchw! huH’ hh..snf!..nghn”

..wouldn’t stop itching.

He lifted a palm to his forehead. It felt warm. Warm because of the fever, or warm because his fingers felt like icicles? He didn’t know. His stomach made a sound, and Kaveh feels the feeling of hunger for the first time that night. 

Using his other hand, Kaveh pushed against the mattress under him, but his body didn’t rise. He felt weak and shivery. Maybe the blanket was just too heavy.. But he had no trouble getting out of bed this morning, so what was happening now?

He was tired, and sleep was dragging him down once again. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he’d dream of Alhaitham. Alhaitham.. he’d be strong enough to lift Kaveh up from the bed, from under these heavy covers..

As if right on cue, Kaveh heard a sharp knock on his door. He wanted to respond, to call out, but everything hurt. A second passed, and the door swung open, the light from outside just barely any brighter than his own room. 

How considerate that the visitor gave a second thought to his eyes’ sensitivity to bright stuff..

“Kaveh-”

The visitor was calling for him. Respond.. Respond..

“Mmhyea..?”

“It’s me.. uh.. I made some... soup- ..food for you.”

“Haitham..?”

Kaveh started at the doorway. He recognised the voice but not the words spoken. Alhaitham made food for him? Right when he was just feeling hungry? Right when he was just thinking of dreaming about the man? Maybe he was..

“Yeah, it’s me.”

..Or maybe he wasn’t.

Alhaitham pushed himself further into the room. He felt weirdly hesitant. The Grand Scribe, doubting his steps, a new experience for him. ‘Everything with Kaveh is always a new experience’ was the excuse he gave himself.

“I’ll just.. put this-” 

“heH’tchh!! snff!” Kaveh swallowed quickly, blushing. The sneeze snuck up on him, and now Alhaitham was staring.

“The.. t-table.. snff- would be g- good..”

Alhaitham recovered from his startle in an instant, gently placing the tray onto the desk. Kaveh’s voice was soft, very much unlike him. Under the moonlight, he could see the reddish outline of Kaveh’s nose, and Alhaitham felt his heart tighten.

“Are.. are you okay?”

“I’m- hH..hit’chhw! haH’ngxxT!! F-Fine..snf- why..?” Kaveh scrubbed at his eyes, avoiding Alhaitham’s sight. 

“No reason.” Alhaitham felt the words leave his mouth before hie brain could process them. Running away. “I’ll come back later to.. get the bowl..”

When Kaveh watched Alhaitham turn to leave, he felt panic immobilising him. Wait. No, don’t go, please.. s-stay.. “I need.. need-”

“..Need?”

“shit.. Need you to help me lift the spoon.. I can’t..” Kaveh felt his blush returning, or maybe it was the fever. He had said that out loud?! ahh- what was Alhaitham going to think?

“Okay.”

Alhaitham quietly moved over to the bedside, pulling a chair over. He wordlessly but carefully pulled down the covers to Kaveh’s waist, flinching when Kaveh shivered immediately to the cold air, turning sharply to his side.

“hH!! H’haH’tCHhuu! s-sorryyhH’ tchHiww! snff-” Kaveh had his nose pressed firmly against his sleeve when he turned back, grateful that Alhaitham chose not to comment on it, instead helping to prop him up using some pillows.

Kaveh watched as Alhaitham reached for the steaming bowl, cupping it with his bare hands while the other stirred its contents.

“It’s not hot..?”

Alhaitham didn’t answer the question. Of course it was. But how else would he feed Kaveh? Feed Kaveh. It was Alhaitham’s turn to blush. Thankfully Kaveh had his attention elsewhere, sleeve pressed to his nose, rubbing softly. 

“hiH’tchhu!! ouwch.. snff.. hhH-”

“Here.” Alhaitham cleared his throat, holding out the spoon to Kaveh’s lips. From this distance, he can tell how puffy Kaveh’s eyes were, and how they were avoiding him. 

Kaveh is just as scared as he is.

“T-Thank you..” Kaveh mumbled, the stuffiness making it hard to talk. The soup was warm, not too hot, not too cold; “delicious.”

“Glad you like it.”

“I’m amazed you can cook. snff! It’s not poisonous, is it?”

“Unfortunately not.”

Kaveh smiled, a little, and Alhaitham did too. Despite the moment they were in right now, they always found a way to bite at each other’s throats. That’s how they were, everyone in Sumeru knew.

But what were they really, to each other?

The bowl was empty before another word was spoken, say for the regular sniffles (and sneezes) that Kaveh would take between each bite. It was all too soon, and Alhaitham was standing up, probably to leave.

Panic. 

Kaveh didn’t want to be alone, but he didn’t want just anybody’s company either. He wanted Alhaitham’s company. The house was too big and his room was too cold. And so he reached out. 

“Haitham-!”

Alhaitham turned around, tray and bowl clutched in his hands. Kaveh was calling him, Kaveh needed something from him. What was it..? What was it? If he could, he would give Kaveh the world.

“Yes?”

“P-Please stay?”

And there it was, the unspoken words that were finally said. Such a simple request. ‘Of course’ Alhaitham thought. ‘Of course I’ll stay.’

“I will. I will be back after I wash these, alright?”

“Always worried about the dishes aren’t you, Haitham?”

Yes, I am worried, worried, but not just about the dishes anymore.

-

Kaveh watched as Alhaitham padded slowly out of his room. The defined muscles of his back poking through the thin shirt, as beautiful as they were the first time Kaveh laid eyes on them. Strong arms that he hoped one day would hold him. One day, soon.

“I’m sorry for always being such a mess-”

(And that you always have to clean up after me.)

“It’s alright. It’s the way you are.”

(And it’s perfect, I love it.)

He hears the kitchen tap going off as sleep welcomes him once again. But this time, Kaveh doesn’t need to dream of Alhaitham. Because he might have just became a reality.

-

When Kaveh wakes up the next day, his fingers were cradled within Alhaitham’s sturdy palm, the man in question seated upon the bedside chair, head resting upon the blanket, against Kaveh’s thigh, their hearts beating as one.

(end)

.

.

.

tbh that felt more like a character rs fic then a snzfic but thats not rly for me to decide. 

i love these two so much and wna write for them abit more (when i stop being lazy)