#myvomit

Love is cool.

Solitude is dope.

Experiencing the world in silence is amazing.

Listening to the moon rock behind clouds is a vibe.

…I’m not aware of much, nothing matters heavy anymore.

I think growth means “the desire and need to be better today than I was yesterday.”

Growth isn’t always linear, sometimes you plateau, but to question everything, open your mind to receive, relax, do the work, be stagnant, it’s all growth.

Growth is experiencing the things that once used to trigger you and knowing/feeling you don’t react the same. Growth is facing your demons and instead of trying to hide them or act like they don’t exist, you make nice with them.

Growth is seeing the imperfections in the world and giving them grace because nothing is binary.

The season of death, rebirth, and renewal. Every year I learn a new lesson and think I should share it with the world which I’m constantly learning lessons, and I’m constantly wanting to share.

This year is different. My energy is different. My spirit is different... I’m realizing that even though I may not be “different”, a qualification we all like to hold onto because we feel we have something to prove to others... my difference is, I’m wholly and divinely mine and that’s the most sacred thing I could ever imagine for myself.

ᴏᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴇᴛ.

ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ʙᴇsᴛ ᴅᴀʏs sʜᴇ ɪs ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴀᴍ. ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀsᴛ ᴅᴀʏs sʜᴇ ɪs ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ.

.

In my moment of silence I am but that of empty space. A boiling pot of emotion. A center piece of expression. Trajectories of feminine, masculine, and the fine line that divides your tongue in two when you speak my name.

.

Swallowed deep like the prayers you mumble at night to cover your sins because you just haven’t quite “gotten it” yet. An exposing sense of judgement you lay upon your shoulders with your chin up, chest out, and your privilege you wear so loudly.

.

You. Just. Dont. Get. It.

.

So you sweep your predisposition under the rug like we don’t see you on Sunday mornings, tricking your neighbor and hiding your scales. By being silent you think you’re doing no wrong but you reek of slaughtered lands and false pride.

.

You and I we look the same. But we fight for two different worlds. We don’t check the same box, we don’t speak the same language, and we don’t think the same things.

.

As of yet, I still have them at times. Unlearning to learn again takes its toll on the clock. But since practicing and accepting other people at the highest sense of their consciousness has truly helped me live a more understanding life.

Accepting others in their form, it’s selfless and of love. And if I’m going to be a vessel of a lovefilled person, we have to start somewhere.

So my first true form of testament is understanding and accepting some people will always show up in your life the way that they do. And I’m completely ok with that. In fact, I encourage it.

Because life is about connections and vibes and moments and memories. Backtracking on the lack there of because it’s not what you thought it was only hinders your right now as well as what could be.