#myprison

I lied to you the other day when I said liked you.

I feel like a phony everyday,hiding the truth.

I’ve never just  liked you. I guess all along I knew it .

I just couldn’t accept and admit the truth to myself.

But I knew  the moment I met you that,  that was it.

Fate would take us different paths ,you working the “line"

and I trying to fulfill the herculean  task of sharing and caring .

Trying to forge the diamonds in the rough that were handed to me.

It was this time though  that I started to admire how you worked.

Your impeccable knowledge of even the finest detail.

I was seduced by the mystery that you showcased.

I was pissed that I felt that way.

I wanted  to scare you away and went on doing fine.

Then our worlds crossed once more as fate would have it.

It was my friend who would give us the chance to work together.

I will admit I am was elated at the thought.

I quickly shot it and asked myself “Do I like him ? Never! “

The first day was difficult, I caught myself being anything but me.

At  night I’d still wonder, at the discomfort was it me or him?

But I must admit now, i Looked forward to that hour when I knew I’d see you.

Days dragged  on and the most unthinkable thing happened.

I had begun to admire you more, your eyes that i never saw before,

Now began to bother me so much so that if I didn’t see you

I felt the world’s end

On the day I dreaded the most, I was halted by the truth within me.

You walked in and it seemed the world stopped

My heart hopped and our eyes locked.

I could only muster a feigned admiration.

But right there and then I knew my heart was literally fucked.

I can’t tell how many times Ive scolded myself

And wanted to leave my heart home ,keep it in a shelf

But there was I unsteady , losing balance.

And  in my head hovered the words “Please give me a chance.

But it’s now the start of the end.

I want to take a chance,throw prudence to the wind

But I worry  our friendship will see the end

So here it is, I am coming out clean.

I love you with all of my heart

With all that I am , all that I will be and all that I’ve ever been.

I love you with no regrets and only silent unspoken hope