#mymindwanders

I found this little guy in the gardens. 🐛🦋

Listen to the beeps. It is the sound of life. It peaks, trenches, and at times plateaus. The changing patterns mirror milestones in our everyday living. It is closely related to what we think, feel, and perceive. It is our timeline.

Joy. Sadness. Fear. Anger. Disgust.

Emotions dictate the manner by which we interact with all that surrounds us. We act and react to a multitude of scenarios every minute of every day.

The optimist deals with everything with such a happy disposition that could only be described as being as close to a living ball of sunshine as one possibly could. At times though, joy is left by the reality that keeps such a person grounded to deal with the facts.

At the other end of the spectrum, one is deprived of such radiating glow. Sadness is gloom and melancholy. And though crying relieves oneself of the heart's heavy burden, one prefers to hide it from the world.

Second guessing oneself confines one to a box.

White noise.

I lean onto the croock of my arm and use it as a pillow against the glass. As I stare outside my window, shapes and colors don't make sense anymore. It simply turns into a messed up blur as the bus speeds up.

When we flatline, apathy takes over. We don't care about anything anymore. Days seem longer than it should. Nights would cover you in that deafening silence that is all too familiar yet renders you tired and deprived of sleep.

When we flatline, we sit in the bus, listen to the engines roar as the vehicle groans and wobbles, hear the noise generated by the day's set of commuters, and attempt to drown it all out by forcing oneself to sleep.

When we flatline, we often ask ourselves, "Is there more to life than this?"

I am looking for my answer and have yet to find it.

Believe me. I'm trying.

- mgcarpizo | 7 March 2020

does that mean that you have to give payment to hell