#myish

Another sneeze forced its way out as you stopped for a moment to regain yourself. You had done a good job, or at least you thought, at keeping the fact that you were sick a secret. It had been about three days since you had awoke to a profound burning at the back of your throat. At first you’d shrugged it off, thinking your throat was just dry. After several hearty mouthfuls of water you knew that was not the case. Instant panic consumed your brain, would they leave you behind? This quest was too important to the dwarves didn’t have time to stop and tend to the ill. Yes you decided, Thorin would leave you. It was at that exact moment you’d decided to keep it to yourself.

Now on the third day of your illness you were starting to think that may have been a bad idea. While everyone still continued to trudge through the forest you could feel yourself becoming fatigued very quickly. It was taking all your energy to keep up with the company and no one knew when Thorin would call it quits for the day. The sun burned bright in the sky, causing a few stray wisps of light to cut through the branches. The warmth of the sun did nothing however to counteract the chill that had set into the forest. If it was this cold now, tonight was certain to be freezing. Pulling your coat tighter around your body you glanced up to see you’d started to fall towards the back of the group.

“Did ya have a rough night lass?”

Whipping your head to the left your eyes fell upon the bright smile of none other than Bofur. How the dwarf always seemed to be so happy and full of energy you’d never know. You would be lying though if you said his smile wasn’t the highlight of your day. When things were getting rough or tensions were high he always seemed to lighten the mood. Some days it was a quick parting joke or a song, other days it was an elaborate story that you were quite sure couldn’t be true. Well at least you hoped some of the raunchier stories weren’t. It was this sanguine nature that made your heart beat a little faster when he looked your way. Now with his russet brown eyes focused so intently on you, the light pitter patter of your heart started to race.

“Yes,” your voice came out hoarse causing you to wince. The word alone felt like nails being dragged down your already sore throat. The drastic change in your voice clearly took Bofur by surprise as his eyebrows pulled together tightly. Clearing your throat you tried to quickly fix this mess. If Bofur knew you were sick, everyone would know. He was such a kind and caring dwarf, you knew he’d cause a ruckus trying to take care of you. “For some reason last night, I kept waking up.” The response wasn’t a complete lie. You had struggled to fall asleep last night, however it wasn’t the cause for your change in behavior.  

“That’s odd, when I was on watch your snoring coulda rivaled Bombur’s,” Bofur tossed his head back in a exuberant laugh clearly enjoying the situation. His pigtails seemed to dance as he looked at his fellow dwarves, a couple laughing along with him. It had to be because of your stuffy nose, no one had ever commented on you snoring before. Still it didn’t stop your cheeks from flushing a bright shade of red at the jab. Glancing away from the hat wearing dwarf next to you, you looked forward only to catch eyes with Dwalin. A strange look crossed his face before you were drawn back to your neighbor.

“Didn’t mean anything by it Y/N, ya just aren’t acting like yourself. Thought ya might need some cheering up!”

Still chuckling Bofur clapped his hand your back. The friendly gesture normally made your heart swell, today however it took you completely off guard.You stumbled forward from the force, arm reaching out frantically to brace yourself before you fell face first in the dirt. The shock caused several coughs, you’d been trying to suppress, to slip past your lips. A low grunt barely registered in your ears as you tried to regain your composure. As the last couple coughs finally died off you looked to the source of the grunt only to, once again, feel your face growing hot. It seemed you’d broken your fall by grasping tightly onto Bofur’s shoulder, what you hadn’t expected was to have his hair caught in your grip as well. With his head tilted to the side, Bofur was trying to turn his grimace into a smile but seemed to be struggling.

“Lass I’m gonna need ya to let go of my hair now,” his voice had lowered several octaves and was much raspier than you remembered. Something about this tone made your nerves ignite with fire. As the warmth spreads and your stomach begins to twist you become painfully aware of how close he was. Had he been this close the entire time? Quickly you released his hair from your grasp, pulling your hand to your chest.

“B-Bofur! I’m s-so sorry.” Stumbling over your words you quickly made your way as far from the dwarf as you could. Could you embarrass yourself anymore in one day? The company had made it perfectly clear early on how important hair was to dwarves, and here you were yanking on his pigtail. It just had to be Bofur too. If it was any of the others you doubt you would be nearly as flustered. The self-depreciating groan you let out caught the attention of Dwalin again.  Thankfully he didn’t seem concerned enough to question it, and continued along the path. Glancing behind your eyes quickly met with Bofur’s who were intently watching you. Whipping your head back around you sighed softly, hoping Thorin would call it a night soon.

It wasn’t too much later Thorin decided it was time to set up camp. Everyone quickly scrambled about working on their assigned tasks. After you had collected fire wood like Thorin had said you sat down on an old stump. It felt so good to get off your feet. After a long day wading through the woods your body felt like lead and your head was throbbing. Being sick on top of it was not helping. That and you couldn’t clear the situation with Bofur from earlier from your mind. Every time you thought of how gruff his voice had become or how close his body was to yours, the fire in your belly started to burn again.

Bilbo quietly sat down next to you, he was fidgeting with something but you weren’t paying attention. Across the fire from you Bofur was still staring intently at you from where he sat next to his brother. When your eyes met you quickly looked for a way to distract yourself. Had you upset him that much earlier? He had to know it had been an accident. With all the thoughts in your mind, your head started to pound harder. It felt as though with every breath you took the pain grew worse. Bombur dropped the pot not far from you, the loud clang made you wince. A soft whine escaping in reaction before you could stop it.

“Are you quite alright?”  Bilbo asked from beside you. His mouth was turned down in a deep frown, worry clouding his eyes.

“I’m fine, just tired is all.” The lie felt thick hanging in the air, and not just because your stuffy nose was deepening your voice. It was very clear to yourself as well as those around you that this was not a case of exhaustion. Sniffling quietly, you knew they weren’t going to buy it. Your voice was more hoarse than this morning, you couldn’t stop shivering and pain was painted all over your face.

“Tired? Ya haven’t seemed like yourself all day!” Bofur said moving around the fire to stand in front of you. It hadn’t occurred to you that he was listening to your conversation with the hobbit until now. His eyebrows were furrowed and he wore the same look of concern as Bilbo. As he moved closer you couldn’t help but rise to your feet.

“Are ya sure ya aren’t coming down with something lassie?” Bofur continued to move closer to you until you were sure there was no space between you. Between the close proximity of his body and the pounding in your head it was getting hard to think straight. He had asked you something, you needed to answer. Pushing through the fog in your mind you tried to answer.

“Truly! I’m sure it’s because-” before the sentence could finish leaving your lips Bofur had his hand against your forehead. It wasn’t until his large palm was resting against you that you realized how feverish your skin felt. His hand was so cool in comparison to your boiling skin you couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh of relief.

“Y/N you’re burning up! Come now lass lets get ya taken care of.” Bofur wrapped his arm around your back, placing his hand against your low back. Another round of shivers passed through your body, completely unrelated to the illness. As he led you to the spot he had once been sitting in next to Bombur, Bofur turned and spoke to Bilbo, “Laddie could ya go find Oin for me? Need ta see if he has something to get the lass feeling better.”

Nodding his head Biblo quickly scampered over to where Oin was having a lively conversation with some of the others. You had been so distracted watching as Bilbo became more and more frustrated trying to explain to Oin, that you hadn’t notice Bofur wrapping the blanket around you until he was tucking the edges. Taking the chance while he was distracted you let your gaze wander over his face. Chestnut brown eyes were squinted, the worry causing the lighter lines on his face to stand out in the light from the fire. The typically large smile was replaced by a slight frown making his mustache seem listless in comparison to usual. The jovial dwarf you’d become so fond of was worrying like a mother hen. When you thought he couldn’t steal your heart more, he did just that.

“Ya should have told me sooner.”

Locking eyes with the hat wearing dwarf you simply nodded your head. At this point you were in too much pain to argue. Maybe if you hadn’t kept it to yourself, you’d have been better by now. Which is exactly what Oin said to you once he made his way over. The entire time he checked you over he lectured you. It might have been endearing if his voice wasn’t so loud.After his assessment he left suddenly before returning with some kind of leaves. Chewing them like he instructed the bitterness made your face scrunch up. Why did everything meant to heal, taste so terrible? After you’d finished the leaves he said he’d brew you a tea in the morning that should help knock the illness the rest of the way out.

Thanking the old healer you watched as he made his way back to his original seat. A loud sigh next to you caught your attention. Bofur was still missing his usual smile as he sat down next to you. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small piece of wood he had been working on earlier that night. His leg was pressed firmly against your own and you could feel the slight movements of his arm as he worked. It was unusual sitting so close to the dwarf but you felt yourself relaxing as time went on. Eventually curiosity won and you found yourself leaning over to get a better look at what he was working on. The sight took your breath away, in his hand was a perfectly carved fox. Currently he was working on the face, carefully carving the eyes in place. You continued on watching him work until you found yourself leaning against the kind dwarf. He smiled brightly at you as you relaxed your head onto his shoulder. Perhaps it was the medicine Oin had given you or maybe you were just tired but you felt your eyes slowing drooping closed. The last thing you remember before drifting off was something soft pressing against your forehead.

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was how easily you could breathe. After days of having a stuffy nose it was relief. The next was that somehow you were in your bedroll. Strange. The last thing you remembered was sitting with Bofur when you’d dozed off. Sitting up you ran a hand through your y/h/c hair before feeling something tumble off your stomach. Glancing down you saw the wooden fox Bofur had been carving last night. Picking it up you let your fingers glide over the smooth wood. It was beautiful, he’d taken the time to carve out every intricate detail. It looked as though it could come to life in your hands at any moment.

“Good morning Y/N.” Now wearing his characteristically lighthearted smile, Bofur stood before you a steaming cup in his hand.  “This is the tea Oin wants ya ta drink. Are ya feelin’ any better lass?”

“Yes I feel much better, thank you!”

“I’m glad, ya gave me a scare.” Carefully you placed the fox in your lap before taking the cup from his hands. He sat down next to you a soft smile gracing his lips as he watched you drink the tea. You couldn’t help but sigh softly, the warmth of the tea managed to soothe the remaining scratch from your throat. Bofur was fidgeting next to you, a nervous expression hiding behind his smile.“Do ya like it? I made it for ya, the fox I mean.” Y/E/C eyes widened in response, looking back down at the fox in your lap.

“It’s for me?”

Setting the cup down you looked back at the sweet dwarf beside you who was slowly nodding his head. You’d never seen him this nervous and it was an endearing sight to behold for sure. Gently picking the fox back up you examined it closely before looking back at him.

“Bofur I love it!”

Without thinking you flung yourself at the dark haired dwarf, wrapping your arms around his neck. The sudden embrace knocked him onto his back but he quickly started chuckling before wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. Caught up in the moment you pulled back and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, causing butterflies to erupt in your belly. Pulling away you saw the look of shock on his face before another brilliant smile pulled at his cheeks, Sitting both of you up he pushed stray strands of y/h/c from your face before gently pressing his lips to yours. One of his arms was still tightly wound around your waist, while his free hand was gently cradling your face to his.

The kiss was over as quickly as it started; but you stayed sitting on Bofur’s lap, foreheads pressed together. You could feel his thumb drawing lazy circles into your hip and couldn’t help but smile. “Lass I’ve been meaning ta,” Bofur started to say before he quickly pulled away from you. Surprised you saw his face crinkle up before he was covering a sneeze with his hand. Shaking his head lightly he turned back to you, “Anyway I’ve been meaning ta-” the dwarf once again found himself sneezing. Clearing his throat a few times he turned back to you, an impish smile on his face.

Loki was sitting in a large chair in his room when he heard it. The loud slamming of a door came from the room next to his own, shaking the connecting wall. When Thor had decided midgard would be where they BOTH would be staying, the god of mischief was quite reluctant. He was not alone in this however, all of the other avengers had opposed the idea immediately. Thor somehow convinced them that this would be both a punishment as well has rehabilitation for Loki. They agreed reluctantly, but only once his powers were locked dormant. A sudden crashing noise from the same room caught his attention again. Closing his book he stood from the chair before making his way towards his own door. Walking out of his door he heard yet another loud noise, this one sounding like someone fell.

The room in question belonged to Y/N. When he first started staying in the compound he was under the impression the room was vacant. It wasn't until the day he ran straight into the girl as she exited her room, that he knew otherwise. His neighbor was a timid girl that liked to stay to herself. The raven haired god had grown fond of her, though he’d never admit it. He often finds himself in an easy conversation with her. Unlike the other avengers she doesn’t seem to hold any grudge against him, which is refreshing. They had bonded one evening over different preferences in literature and that’s when he’d begun to feel the pull. Something about this seemingly normal girl had completely taken over his mind. It frustrated him to no end, yet here he was standing before her door. Heaving a sigh he knocked quickly, listening as another crash sounded behind the door.

This couldn’t be happening, it felt like a nightmare. Staggering from the taxi, you quickly found yourself bombarded by the downpour of rain. Though you were currently being drenched to the bone, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Walking into the compound, the cold air in the building did nothing but chill you further. As you made your way into the elevator you wiped some of your dripping hair from your face. As you watched the floors pass by, you felt the back of your throat starting to burn again. How could this have happened? Placing a hand against your forehead, you quietly sobbed letting the tears roll down your cheeks. How could he? The ding of the elevator momentarily brought you out of your thoughts. Stepping out you went to make your way too the living quarters before changing your mind. Turning in the opposite direction you headed towards the bar in the kitchen. You had drank a bit before making your way home, so why stop now? That’s why Tony kept some in the kitchen right? Opening the cabinet you glanced around before you found a bottle of tequila towards the back. Quickly you pulled the top off and took two large gulps. Cringing at the burn you took another drink before heading back to your room with the bottle.

As strong as this stuff was, it wouldn’t take long to knock you on your ass. That’s what you were hoping for at least. Swaying lightly you pushed your door open before stumbling in. As you entered the room you found your anger flaring at the earlier situation again and kicked the door closed. As it slammed shut it shook your wall knocking a picture off. Glancing at the broken picture frame you felt the tears start to well up again. As you grabbed the picture frame a piece of the broken glass cut the palm of your hand. Ignoring the now stinging wound in your palm you looked at the picture through blurry eyes. It was a moment that at one point had filled your heart with warmth, now it just filled you with anger. The picture showed yourself and y/b/n wearing matching grins. His arm was wrapped snugly around your waist as you peered out over the water.

Feeling the rage start to bubble in your throat again, you let out a short scream before throwing the picture across the room. The frame made contact with the lamp on your nightstand causing them both to crash to the floor. How dare he. Closing your eyes, the scene easily played behind your eyes.It was your date night, it had been planned for weeks. You had curled your hair, done your makeup, even worn your favorite dress. The plan had been to meet him at his place and the two of you would go to dinner. As you entered his apartment however you saw him with some woman you’d never seen before. The two of them were a tangled mess of limbs and didn’t seem to notice you’d even arrived till you dropped your keys. He at least had the decency to look remorseful before you picked your keys back up and fled the apartment. You had heard him calling for you the entire way out the building, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look back.

Shaking your head you tried to remove the thought from your head. Walking back towards the liquor bottle you’d apparently placed on the dresser, you tripped falling face first in the middle of the room.Growling you kicked the heels from your feet, listening as they thumped against the wall. Scrambling back to your feet you picked the bottle up, drinking another large mouthful or two. Looking at the content on your dresser, anger continued to course through your veins. Several nick nacks and presents he’d given you. Another picture of you placed towards the end. A heavy scowl etched itself onto your face before you ran your arm across the dresser top, throwing everything to the floor.

Just as you were going to let a sob slip from your throat, you heard a rushed knock at your door. Furrowing your brows you took another swig of tequila before placing the bottle down and heading to see who it was. Pulling the door open you swayed unsteadily before leaning against the door frame. It took a couple moments but you finally registered Loki standing before you. Looking at the raven haired god you couldn’t help but notice what looked like concern on his face. What? No that had to be wrong, you’d clearly drank too much. Clearing your throat you tried your best not to sound as drunk as you currently felt.

“Loki, what do I owe the pleasure?” A forced smile quirked at your lips. It was hardly convincing to yourself, let alone the beautiful man in front of you. Crossing his arms across his chest, one of his dark eyebrows lifted on his face.

“What exactly has happened, that has made you so determined to tear the walls down Y/N?”

The snark in his tone made you completely forget about what you had thought was concern on his face earlier. Had you been making a lot of noise? It didn’t feel like you had, Loki had never complained about you making noise before. Looking back into your room you looked at the disarray it was in. Maybe that was noisy. It needed to be done though, you felt so much better now that a few things had been broken. Turning back to look at him, you saw the agitation blooming in his emerald eyes. Oh you’d never answered him, not that you really wanted to in the middle of the hallway. Instead you hummed lowly for a moment before rubbing your eye. It hadn’t registered in your mind earlier, but now you can feel the slight swaying your body was doing, even leaning against the doorway. Loki’s dark brows furrowed further before he addressed you again.

“You’ve been drinking tonight, haven’t you?” His voice came out soft, at least it sounded soft to you. Though you couldn’t really tell why. Scoffing loudly you couldn’t help but laugh before saying, “Well aren’t you observant, god of lies and mischief and other perilous things that go bump in the night.” Sarcasm dripped from every word as you turned and headed back into your room. Loki must have been stunned because he hesitated before walking into the room after you and shutting the door. Turning back around you saw him looking around at the mess in your room. Again, you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Why are you drinking?”

Shrugging your shoulders you tore you gaze away from him. You no longer wanted to witness whatever emotions were flitting across his face. Your own were too much to deal with, without adding his into the mix. Especially since you remembered gushing to Loki about this date earlier in the week. It had become odd, how easily you could confide in him. He knew all about how you felt like your relationship was over. The spark had ended a long time ago, but you couldn’t let go. You’d invested too much time. This date night was supposed to be the start of you and your boyfriend reconnecting. Rekindling what had been lost over the years.

In your mind that is what you wanted, for you and y/b/n to go back to the way you were. Your heart had other plans it seemed. As you confided and became closer with Loki your heart had swayed in his direction. The others would never approve but you couldn’t help it. After learning everything that had happened, or at least what he was comfortable telling you, you couldn’t help but hold no grudge towards him. It didn’t help your weak heart that he was so irresistibly handsome.

“You told me you don’t enjoy drinking, so why?” The change in his tone told you he was not in the mood for playing games. It was funny that way, Loki liked games, but only on his terms. Now his voice was stern, clearly not enjoying whatever this weird situation was. Shakily you took a breath, readying yourself to reply.

“He cheated on me..”

“I beg your pardon?”

“He cheated on me!” The phrase tore from your throat, a sob following after. Covering your mouth with your hand you turned back towards him. Your body was shaking and the tears were still rolling down your cheeks in steady streams. As you lifted your gaze to the tall man in front of you, you felt your eyes widen in surprise. Loki stood before you, his jaw clenched and his nostrils flaring. The anger was rolling off of him in waves, his emerald eyes piercing your own.

“What happened?”

Turning back away from Loki, you could still feel his gaze burning into your back. His reaction felt like it was trying to sober you up. That couldn’t happen. Grabbing the bottle off the dresser, you stumbled further into the room away from him. Pressing the bottle to your lips you just felt the liquid touch your tongue when the bottle was torn from your hand.

“Darling you’ve had enough.”

When had he moved? Standing beside you the bottle hang loosely from one of his hands. His other hand reached up, his thumb swiping the tears from our cheek. The gentle gesture made more tears try to spring to your eyes. Holding them off as best you could you pulled away from him. On his face you could see the anger still rolling, behind it you could see sadness as well. Finally you took a moment to really look at him, he was wearing a pair of well fitting black dress pants. A black button down shirt was tucked into them with a dark green tie around his neck. It was such a dark shade of green you almost mistook if for black at first. It didn’t seem like he was going to press you for details, at least not right now. Feeling like a fool for crying in front of him, you decided to try to change the subject

“Aren’t you supposed to be blending in?”

Thor had insisted Loki should buy some clothes he could wear in public in case the time ever arose. Once he bought them however, Thor insisted he wear them in the tower as well. The emerald eyed god’s idea of casual clothes however ended in him buying several different suits. All slightly different, but from the untrained eye they looked the same.

“Yes, why else would I be wearing midgardian clothes?”

“That’s not really something you wear to blend in, guys wear that to make a statement. You know make a girl notice them. Make a girl think about how he’d be in bed.”

You watched the look of shock cross his face as your head started swirling. It seemed all the alcohol had fully caught up with you. It was only a matter of time. Sure you had thought that every time you saw him in one of those suits but you would never say that on a normal day. Glancing back at his face you saw the shadow of a smirk spread across his face as he moved toward you. His body pressed lightly against yours, his hand gripping your hip. Looking up at him, you could feel his breath fanning against your face. Even in your altered state you could feel your heart begin to thump in your chest. Leaning forward you felt his lips brush the shell of your ear.

“Does that mean you’ve thought about it pet?” Loki practically purred the words into your ear, his hand tightening its grip on your hip. You felt a warmth coil and spread in your belly, your thighs clenching involuntarily in reaction. The subtle action didn’t get past the trickster, the smirk spreading further across his face. Pulling you ever closer to his body you could feel his chest expand with every breath he took.  You felt him inhale deeply again before pulling away from you all together. Exhaling a breath you didn’t know you were holding you watched as he ran a hand down his face.

“It would be best if you got some rest, Y/N.”

Nodding your head you made your way towards your bed, stepping over the mess that was still scattered around your room. Loki seemed to be hesitating leaving, his gaze never straying from your form. As you tucked yourself into the bed, not bothering to change from your dress, you felt yourself calling out to him.

“Will you stay with me?”

Your voice surprised you as it wavered, but you don’t think you could be alone right now. If he left, your mind would go back to the event from earlier this evening. His jaw clenched again before he turned walking towards the door. You felt your heart sink, your cheeks warming in embarrassment at the situation. The room suddenly went dark and you heard the pitter patter of feet walking towards your bed. Looking to your right you felt the bed sink under his weight. In the dark of the room you could make out his form taking the tie from around his neck, the shirt following soon after. Laying back in the bed, he motioned for you to lay back with him. Sliding under the covers you tucked yourself into his side, your head resting on his bare chest. His lips pressed against the top of your head before a sigh slipped from his lips.

Tony walked into the tower, happily surprised at how quiet it was. Most of the time it was bustling with people so the rare moment was appreciated. He’d just arrived back earlier this morning from a mission that was supposed to last four days, it lasted three weeks. Other than a big black eye, he wasn’t in too bad a shape. Sore as hell, but that comes with age it seems. Walking towards the area his office was in, he glanced into Y/N office noticing it was empty. Had she been called on a mission while he was gone? That’s probably why it was so quiet. He’d come to love listening to her laugh bounce around the room when she found something particularly funny. The way her nose would crinkle up just a bit before the beautiful sound escaped her lips. Tony had been looking forward to seeing her when he returned, guess he’d just have to wait.

The door to his office slid open as he approached and quietly shut behind him. Looking at his desk he saw an envelope resting on top of some other paperwork, the sight of it made his hands start to sweat. Physical copies of documents were never a good sign. Clenching his jaw he made his way around the desk and fell into the chair. Running his hands through his hand and then down his face he peered at the envelope through his fingers. Even has tired as he was he could make out his name delicately scrawled in her handwriting across the front. Again, this couldn’t be good news. Y/N would have just waited and talked to him when he was back from the mission. Snatching the envelope off the desk he haphazardly tore it open, his heart starting to hammer in his chest.

Dear Tony,

    This is not how I wanted you to find out, but your mission went on longer than I think either of us expected. I’m not sure if you remember but I had told you a job had been offered to me in London, and after a lot of thought I decided to take it. Leaving you and everyone else is going to be one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I have to do it. Not that I expect you to understand, but I can’t do it anymore. It was breaking my heart watching you day in and day out and knowing what we could never be. You make me want things I can’t have. I can’t have you and I can accept that. For now I need my space to clear my mind though. I’ll still keep in touch so don’t think this is goodbye forever. That and you have my number too, so please don't hesitate to reach out. I’ll miss you.

With all my love,

Y/N

Staring down at the letter Tony realized at some point his hands had started shaking, the paper fell from his grip and slipped under the desk. Jumping from his chair he quickly stalked towards the living quarters. If this was some sick joke Clint had put her up to his was going to be furious. Of course the archer had figured out a long time ago how Tony felt about her. In his own words though, he said he wasn’t going to meddle. As his steps slowed to a stop in front of her door he felt his nerves continuing to climb. She wasn’t gone, she couldn’t be.

“Friday unlock the door.”

“The door does not appear to be locked Mr. Stark.”

Dark eyebrows pulled together as he pushed the door open. The sight before him made the bile rise into his throat. All of her personal belongings were gone, only the furniture Tony had bought for her remained. Sitting on the edge of her bed, he let his gaze now wander around the empty room. She was really gone. Leaning forward he rested his arms on his knees and cradled his head in his hands. He was such a fool. Inhaling a shaky breath he could still smell the perfume she always wore lingering in the room. Tony had thought he had plenty of time to tell her how he felt. Never would he have thought she would leave. She always seemed so happy, every time she entered a room it seemed to light up. Well maybe it just brightens for him. Perhaps she only seemed so happy because he was too ignorant to see she was fighting the same battle he was.

A sudden wetness on the edge of his hand made him aware he’d started crying. Quickly wiping the tears from his face, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Pressing onto the contact information for Y/N he watched as a picture of the two of them popped up. It had been a ridiculous picture, she had caught him off guard. Clearly because he was in the middle of talking in the picture. But she had her y/h/c hair braided back the way he always liked it. That contagious smile dancing across her face causing her eyes to crinkle at the edges. He didn’t care how terrible he looked in the picture. She looked perfect. Shaking his head, Tony quickly dialed her number. With a sigh he listened as it went to voicemail.

“Y/N, it’s Tony look I need you to call me. I need to talk to you. I should have told you a long time ago, but I’m in love with you. Have been for years. Damn it please....just call me.”

Hanging up the phone he slipped it back into his pocket before exiting the room. Tony didn’t know if he could feel anymore exhausted than he did now. Though the idea of sleeping seemed completely foreign to him. How could he not sleep when he didn’t know where Y/N was? It was just like when she went on a mission without him. He could never rest until she returned, once he knew she was safe. Turning the corner he almost ran right into Clint, who seemed just as upset as he felt.

“Tony I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Look Legolas, I’m really not in the mood right now.” Turning to walk away Tony felt his blood run cold at the next words that came from Clint’s mouth.

“Cap just called, Y/N never made it to London.”

Dropping an armful of clothes onto your bed you sighed before glancing around the room for your bag. Steve was sending you on an undercover mission in a couple days and you wanted to start packing now. If you didn’t you might forget something and that wouldn’t be good. Grabbing your go bag and your suitcase you threw them onto the bed as well. It wasn’t supposed to be too difficult of a mission, you were looking forward to it actually. It felt like you’d been stuck in the tower too long, you were getting stir crazy. Pulling the zipper back on your go back you checked the contents to be sure everything was where it should be. Thankfully nothing seemed missing until you made it to your first aid kit. Opening up the box you found it had been completely ransacked. All but a small folded piece of paper was missing. Grabbing the paper, you could already feel yourself getting irritated. There was only one person who would do this.

“I owe you one - C.B.”

Crumpling the paper in your fist you turned quickly before storming out the room.

“BARTON! WHERE ARE YOU!?”

As you made your way further into the compound you heard a quick shuffling just around the corner. A smirk spread across your lips as you rushed to the end of the hall. Rounding the corner, you were met with a very confusing sight. Sam stood before you, his expression even angrier than yours, as he struggled against what appeared to be Peter’s webs.

“Sam? What are you doing?”

“Damn kid snuck up on me when I was heading to the kitchen. Little punk has it coming when I get out of this. Can you help me out?”

“Maybe later..”

Taking off down the hall you blocked Sam out, knowing you were now on his hit list too. However you knew you’d caught a glimpse of Clint and if he was that close, you weren’t going to lose him. It looked as though he was heading back towards the training room. Now that you were thinking about it when had he arrived back? He’d been on a mission for about a week with Nat and Wanda. Had he been back and didn’t tell you? The thought made your stomach drop, all feelings of anger being temporarily replaced with sadness. Barton was a pain in the ass, there was no denying that, but he was YOUR pain in the ass. It probably wasn’t right, having feelings for a man that was supposed to be your mentor, but what were you supposed to do?

“Come out, come out, wherever you are!” You said in a sing-song tone before turning down the next hallway. Empty. Walking through you tried to look for anything that might hint to where he had gone. Clint was a great guy, the two of you had hit it off since day one. He did, however, have a terrible habit of taking things out of your go bag. You weren’t sure if it was because he was too lazy to find the items somewhere else or if he did it because he knew it bothered you. Either way, it was getting old. Arriving at a split in the hallway you noticed both ways were completely empty as well. Clenching your jaw you crossed your arms across your chest, the weird mix of rage and sadness still churning inside you. As you turned around to go back the way you came you noticed something in the center of the hall.

“Is that blood?”

Walking toward the dark puddle you realized as you got closer, that it was in fact blood. Panic quickly rushed your system, was Clint hurt? Why would he not go to the med bay? Looking farther down the hall you noticed small drops of blood creating a path to whoever was injured. The further you followed them down the hall, the more you realized this was the way you would take to visit Clint at the archery room. Breaking into a sprint, you could feel your heart pounding as you rounded the corner and shoved the door open. The sight before you made your heart drop in your chest. On his face he had a gash across his cheekbone and a busted lip. He’d removed his shirt so you could see he was littered with bruises, but the worst was some kind of cut across his arm. Starting at his shoulder and going down to his elbow, Clint was currently finishing stitching the wound back together.

“Clint?”

His name came out a breathy whisper from your lips as you watched him. Fighting wasn’t your forte. Typically you helped Cap set the plan and guide the team from back at the tower. The only time you were in the field was when you were going undercover to gather intel. No one recognized you since you stayed out of the public eye and you preferred it this way. During this last mission though, you were so busy preparing for your own upcoming mission that someone else filled in for you. You hadn’t been guiding them and now he was hurt. Finishing the last of the stitches Clint raised his gaze to meet yours, his green eyes missing their normal spark.

“‘Bout time you found me, come help me wrap this up.”

Quickly you moved over to him and took the bandages from his lap. Sitting next to him you gently cleaned his arm with a wet rag and then dried it before you slowly began to wrap the wound. It looked even worse up close and you could feel your stomach churning. What if it had been even worse? What if he hadn’t returned at all? Of course this was always a possibility, but you didn’t typically see the others until after they’d been bandaged up. Shaking hands continued to wrap the wound, focusing on making sure it was tight enough. Once you were satisfied you grabbed the wet rag again and went to clean the wound on his face.

“Why didn’t you go to the med bay?”

Shrugging his shoulders, he answered you with a light scoff, “They’re busy enough without having to stitch me up.”

The tone of his voice said the mission went worse than you’d originally thought. Since he didn’t mention it, you could assume the others were probably in the same shape as him. However you knew him well enough to know he didn’t want to talk about it. After you cleaned the last wound you dropped the rag back into the bowl. He’d been staring at you the entire time and it was starting to get a bit unnerving. Swallowing the lump in your throat you met his eyes.

“You still should have gone, you’re hurt!”

As the words left your mouth you could feel your lips turning down and your eyebrows pulling tight. The fluster of emotions Clint had made you feel in the last thirty minutes was giving you whiplash and you were at your breaking point. The back of your throat was burning with unshed tears and you were hoping you’d be able to hold out.

“Aww, were you worried about me?” Smirking Clint reached forward, tapping the end of your nose lightly. Quickly you stood from where you’d been sitting next to him. Your bottom lip quivered as you lost the will to fight the tears anymore. As the first tear rolled down your cheek you saw the cocky smirk start to slide off his face.

“Of course I was worried you idiot! You left a trail of blood down the hall, how was I supposed to feel?!”  Shrieking at him in frustration you could feel more tears pooling down your cheeks, sobs starting to fly from your throat. Standing a little too quickly Clint staggered towards you before pulling you into a tight hug. One arm snaked around your waist, while the other reached up to cradle your head to his chest. The feeling of his warm skin pressed against you caused you to cry even harder against him. Seeing him hurt made your feelings for him all too real and now you couldn’t shut them off. You felt like a blubbering idiot but the hot tears wouldn’t stop coming. With a soft sigh, Clint slowly started running his hand through your hair.

“Y/N, I didn’t think you were actually worried, I thought were still mad about the bandages.”

You felt your heart stutter in your chest when you felt him press a kiss to your temple. The shock of the action alone made you forget about your tears and pull back to look at him. A sad smile had replaced his earlier grin, guilt covering his features. Slowly he moved so both hands were cupping your face, his thumbs wiping the the trails your sobbing had left behind. You felt yourself relaxing into his touch, enjoying the way his hands felt on your skin. He moved his face towards yours at an agonizingly slow pace, his nose brushing lightly against yours. His emerald eyes flicked to your lips before making their way back to your own. Leaning forward you let your eyes flutter closed, as his lips pressed gently against your own. It was a soft kiss, gently coaxing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. It was sweet and tender, everything you’d hoped kissing Clint would be like. As he parted you kept your eyes closed an extra moment, feeling as he wrapped his arms back around you. Once again his hand began running through your hair, as you drew circles on his chest. You don’t know how long you stayed like this in his arms, but you couldn’t remember the last time you felt so content.Suddenly he pulled back looking right into your eyes, his lips started to quirk up into a smile.