#mydiaryentries

I’ve been feeling extremely motivated lately.. like I just have a clear mind and I actually want to do stuff and get out the house. I woke up this morning made breakfast, stretched & went to the gym. Tomorrow i’m getting drunk with a close friend of mine and i’ve really just been enjoying life.

It’s just so weird considering just last week i was super super depressed.. the entire summer has been awful for me. I had such a bad mental breakdown last week and just drank and now i’m like enjoying life. I’m not sure if I have bipolar depression, and I don’t want to self diagnose myself but i do get evaluated September 6th. I’m kind of nervous this is all going to just end but I really do like having control over my thoughts and feeling normal. But i can’t help but think maybe I am bipolar and this is just a Manic episode, ugh it’s so frustrating to actually think about but all I can do is research on it and I’ll talk to my therapist about it Wednesday.

Goodmorning, i hope u all have a great day! Today is Wednesday.. i really hate Wednesdays, i have therapy every week and i hate it so much. I leave feeling worse than before and it’s so mentally draining. I’m unstable and i’m not on meds because i can’t get a doctor that will take more patients so i’m literally just girlbossing my way through life :D

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Looking for an outfit to wear and i’m not sure if i’m going to go with something simple and basic or something super cute.

todays outfit 🎀

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🎀 - 3PM

Just got out of therapy.. it wasn’t that bad but i did end up having a mental break down BEFORE i went and that honestly sucked. My mental health is so bad like i just feel like shit all the time and it’s awful. Decided to go to the mall after and get a few things to make me feel better and while i was there i almost ran into the person i’ve been trying to avoid for the last few weeks.. honestly i haven’t been very social to anyone recently I just don’t want to be bothered, but this one person i’m trying to purposely cut off!!

୨୧ mall goodies 🎀: ೃ⁀➷

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🎀- 6PM

Ending the night with ice cream and playing the sims! 🤍 i hope you all had a good and productive day!! i’m so excited to post this lol, i can’t wait to post more and hopefully they’ll be longer & more interesting!! (give me a month for school to start then u all will know the juicy gossip & drama that goes on!)

I am so sorry everyone, I have been so bad lately! School has gotten hectic as well as work. So I will without a doubt make some new edits very very soon (hopefully tonight) so I can fill up my queue. In the meantime, Ill be posting some oldies. 

Also, I have some requests in my inbox that I will without a doubt get to when I make the new edits. :) 

Happy fourth everyone!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday. :) At least for everyone who lives in America. Enjoy the fireworks, and the pie and the BBQ. And yeah. Enjoy!

Dear Diary,  This has been quite a difficult week. I have had to deal with a lot of change, and I find it quite overwhelming. I am in such a deep grief about losing my job. Losing my friends. And its strange, because no one really seems to care. I mean, can't ANY of my friends or family members imagine what I'm going through? I mean, honestly.

I have been so depressed lately. I just feel so overwhelmed, and underwhelmed at the same time. Does that make sense? I think that I have started to lose faith in humanity, and the world. Without my writing, and my books; I would fall apart. I need more. I need more.