You got up, dressed, and made your way out of the bedroom.  The smell of coffee and breakfast being made lured you into the kitchen.  Your boyfriend, Chris, was at the stove and almost done making your favorite, Cinnamon French Toast. 

“Hey there Birthday Girl!” he sang, turning his face and pushing his lips out, waiting for a smooch. After you came by to give him one, he turned his attention back to the skillet and flipped the bread out and onto a dish that was already piled high.  

Chris picked up the dish with one hand and gestured towards the table with his other.  “Perfect timing, my love.  Breakfast is served.”

After you’d taken your seat, he poured you a cup of coffee and then took a seat beside you.  

“Did you make your morning wish?” Chris asked, well aware of your ritual.  

“You bet I did,” you replied, trying to hide the smile that wanted to take over your face as you thought about it.  

He hid a smile of his own with a coffee cup as he said, “I hope it comes true.”

You noticed that he was bouncy, like he was full of energy.  He was also biting the inside of his cheek, a habit that you knew meant he was a little anxious.  

“You’re up to something, Chris. I know that smirk.  Spill it.”

Playing coy and innocent, he put down his coffee and threw his hands up in the air in defeat.  “Just excited to give you my present, I swear.  Nothing else.  But eat first, though, before it gets cold.”

“Seriously? You expect me to eat after you tease me like that?”

He reached over to your plate and cut a piece of the french toast.  “What can I say?  I’m evil like that,” he said, holding the fork full of bread up to feed you the first bite.  It was delicious.  The perfect amount of cinnamon and nutmeg, balanced with vanilla extract for flavor.   You knew resistance was futile, so you took the fork from him and dug in.  

Over breakfast you made plans for the day.  Part of those plans included a big family dinner with both families, since they were neighbors and close friends.  Your parents moved in right after Chris’s parents had their first child.  Not too long after, both mom’s got pregnant and you were born just a few months after Chris came into this world.

You’d literally known each other for your entire lives. 

After you were both done eating, he picked up the dirty dishes and placed them in the sink, then snuck into another room and came back with a wrapped box. 

“Ooooh, presents!  I looooove presents!!” you sang, excitedly, earning a large smile from him.

He appeared a bit nervous as he sat down.  Chris’s eyes were bright and alert and his body was tense.  You could see the rise and fall of his chest as his breathing became rapid while waiting for you to rip the paper.  Normally you’d be tearing into it, but something about his energy kept your attention on him instead.

“Well…. Open it!”

It was too good of an opportunity to pass up.  You had to torture him a little.  

Ever so carefully, you peeled open the corners, one piece of tape at a time.  A quick side glance at Chris showed him about to lose his mind because of it.  Whatever was inside of the box really must be special.  Your curiosity now outweighed your desire to bust his balls and you tore off the rest in two quick rips.  

Chris sat back in his chair and grinned, exclaiming, “Now that’s the girl I know and love!”  

With moisture already springing into your eyes, you pulled the book that was inside of the box out and laid it on the table. Running your hand over the cover, lovingly, you asked, “Oh…Chris! What did you do?”

Before you was a scrapbook with the title, “The Story of Y(our) Life”. It was written above side by side photos of you and Chris as babies and a more recent photo. 

He was now leaning forward on the table, resting on his arms with his fingers steepled.  Watching you intently, he said in a deep voice that was just above a whisper, “Why don’t you open it an find out?”

You smiled at him and bit your lip, then did as he suggested.

The title wasn’t kidding.  Chris had created a scrapbook that chronicalled every year of your lives together.  He began with your first year of life, including photographs of the two of you.  Each photo across the pages had small handwritten little stories and anecdotes for each one.  The book was thick enough for you to know that he’d done so for every year, right up to the current one.  You started to flip to the back to see if your hunch was correct, but he quickly stopped you by taking hold of your hands. 

“Uh-uh.  Back to the beginning with you!  It’s never fun to ruin a book’s ending.  There was a journey to go through first.”

“Agreed. Now, let’s see what we’ve got here.”

He’d started with your baby photos.  There was one of you hitting him in the head with your rattle, fury clear upon your face.  Chris had written how his mom told him the story behind the moment.  Apparently, he had thrown his own off the chair and decided to try to take yours.  You were not having any part of that nonsense.  His mom recalled watching you snatch it away and bash him with it.  

Unfortunately, Chris had to learn things the hard way.  You could remember many times that you’d bashed him with things that he tried to take from you when you were kids.  It made you wonder how many of those got captured on film.

The book took a long time to go through.  With each photo and comment there came reminiscing and more stories about the past.  Things were embellished upon, some tales led to others.  You laughed to tears and shed tears as people in the photos who were loved and gone came into your hearts.  These pictures were like a magic portal to the past.   

It always amazed you that this man, you so deeply loved and cherished now, had truly been someone who had been your world forever.  How it took you so long to realize he was the love of your life still shocked you.  Maybe it was because you’d been so close all those years that the love was always there and just masked somehow.  Maybe it was fear of how things would change.  You’d never really nailed it down, but it didn’t really matter anymore.  It happened when it was supposed to happen, like all good things do.

The early pictures were full of sweet adventures and fun times.  Learning how to ride bikes; flying kites at the beach for the first time (you still had a scar from where it crash landed into your leg); playing in giant ball pits; riding ponies at the fair.  There was a photo of you both dressed up for Halloween.  You were a bag of jellybeans (created out of water balloons) and Chris was a cowboy.  The picture showed you both passed out on the sofa after a sugar crash.  Many of your balloons were lost to his six shooter.  

There were many photos of trips taken with both families to Disney World, zoos (where the snapshot was you and Chris pretending to be monkeys), and camping at a lake.  

Photographs from birthdays, high school, holidays and concerts were all in there with fun notes.  The tone of the book changed as the years went on and you could see why he wanted you to start at the beginning.  

That spark of love was truly always there.  He’d perfectly chosen photos that captured those tiny moments of it shining through.  There were looks being exchanged, the way your bodies angled towards one another.  Smiles that were widest when aimed at each other.  It was crystal clear now that he’d always loved you, too. 

It wasn’t until you were both older that you finally spoke the words out loud.  He’d included a picture of the day you’d had your first kiss and there was visible relief on your faces.  No more masks, no more hiding feelings.  You were in love, relaxed, and in total bliss.

The pages of road trips taken together took you through lunch.  God those were so much fun, and something you never seemed to get to do anymore.  You both made a pact to do one at least once a year from now on.

You both shared a love of football and baseball.  There were many pictures from going to the games and parties at various homes with family and friends. 

The more recent pages showed pictures of carrying boxes as you moved in together.  Failed attempts at cooking meals.  Beautiful photographs of you both dressed up for weddings and events. 

On the last page was a photo of you, cradled in his arms, both of you facing the camera and smiling.  

Beneath it was a note that read, “You’ve been my best friend my entire life.  When we fell in love, we both knew it was right.  Now the only thing left to ask is…. Will you be my wife?”

Your head shot up from the page the second your finished reading the words and you stared at him with an open mouth and wide eyes.  

“Chris?”  

You wanted to say so much more.  You wanted to ask him if this was for real or if you were still dreaming, but your throat was too choked with emotions to let them come out.

He stood up, smiling larger than you’d ever seen him do before, and walked over to a nearby desk.  From a drawer, he pulled out a small, black velvet box and made his way back to you.  

Dropping to one knee, he opened the box to display a dazzling engagement ring, then took your hand in his and spoke out loud the words you’d been wanting to hear for so long.

She is completely thrown off by the answer.  If he was traveling that far away for long it could hinder her plans with Chris for sure. She needed to get more details about it.

NICOLE:  What?

CHRIS:  What?

NICOLE:  Indonesia?

CHRIS:  ?

CHRIS: What about it?

NICOLE:  You tell me 

CHRIS:  About what?

As she typed, she dramatically and slowly said aloud the word again.

NICOLE:  In-do-ne-sia!  Are you going there for something?

CHRIS:  WTF are you talking about?

Now she’s getting pissed and finds herself gritting her teeth as she types back to him.

NICOLE:  🤦🏻‍♀️ How the hell should I know? You brought it up!!!!

CHRIS: Brought up what?! 

NICOLE: ‍‍ Indonesia FFS!! 

CHRIS:  😡

After taking a pause to take a deep calming breath, she sends another text in the hopes of stopping this from escalating.  There was no sense in fighting over text. 

NICOLE: Are you going there for work?

CHRIS:  WTF is going on?  

CHRIS:  Wait a min, you think I’m going to Indonesia?

NICOLE:  IDK, are you?

CHRIS:  Nicole…. Are you drunk?

NICOLE: Excuuuuse me?  What?!?!

CHRIS: You aren’t making any sense

NICOLE:  Wait a sec… Me!!!??? 

CHRIS:  Are you pissed at me? Why are you mad?

NICOLE:  I’m not mad, but I’m def getting there

CHRIS:  I don’t understand Nic, where are you getting this info from?

NICOLE:  What info?  You’re the one that said Indonesia!

CHRIS: No, I didn’t! You’re going crazy for nothing! 😤

NICOLE:  Yes, you did!

CHRIS:  Why would I?

NICOLE:  Do me a favor before I lose my shit, please.  Scroll up and see if i’m crazy.

CHRIS: I don’t have to scroll to know that 😚

NICOLE:  🖕🏼

CHRIS:  

NICOLE:  LMAO  

CHRIS:  Got you to smile?

NICOLE:  Maybe just a little, but I’m still pissed.

CHRIS:  Ok, Ok, let me look and see wtf you’re talking about.

Nicole waits with a clenched jaw, although not as tight as it could be as she’s also suppressing a smile.  Things would be so much easier if they could just speak over the phone and avoid this kind of confusion and bullshit. 

CHRIS:  Fuck! I’m so sorry babe.  I meant it to say “I don’t know what it is” and Indonesia came out instead.  It must have autocorrected 🤯

NICOLE: JFC! I’m glad you’re not going there and one more thing….. FUCK YOU AUTO CORRECT!!!!  🤣

NICOLE:  So no travel plans there, phew!

CHRIS:  No travel plans there.  

NICOLE:  Oh THANK GOD! YEAH!!! 

NICOLE:  I was worried it would delay me seeing you even more. 

CHRIS:  Nah, we’re good for a weekend.  I promise. Now put down the bottle you drunk and get back to work (adds GIF of woman drinking from a large wine bottle)

NICOLE:  Drinking at work is mandatory.  I do my best work with tee martoonies … I mean two martinis 🍸

CHRIS:  I love you, my crazy ass drunk

NICOLE:  Love U2

CHRIS:  Indonesia 😉

After a pasta dinner at his apartment, you’d both retreated to the sofa for some snuggles and a movie.  

As usual, things didn’t remain all that innocent, and the movie was simply background noise.

You pulled out all the tricks.  You kisses were passionate, your hands roamed over the upper half of his body.  

When Steve tried to lay you down, you pushed back and took control, driving up his desire. The change seemed to spark something in him.  He was touching you in ways he’d never done before, and grinding himself up against your body as you straddled him on the sofa.

You had him right where you wanted him.

With a large, eye level, bosom-heaving sigh, you said to him, “I hate to do this, Steve, but I need to stop.”

You climbed off of him and shifted your position so that you were seated on the sofa.  You were  adjusting your clothes as he reluctantly sat up, too.  

He was bewildered, and completely thrown off his game.  Perfect.

“Is everything okay?” he asked with concern, his hand reaching out to touch you even as his body shifted closer.  

“Absolutely. I just remembered that it’s Good Friday, that’s all.”

He stared at you in confusion, not grasping why that was important.

You added to the explanation, “And I’m Catholic.”

His lust filled mind was still not connecting the dots when you went in for the kill.

Leaning forward, you wrapped your hand around the thick erection that was visible beneath the pants he was wearing.  Giving it a squeeze, and a few strokes up and down, you explained, sadly, “I can’t have any meat today.”

You placed a chaste kiss upon his lips, then stood up and quickly smoothed your clothes, running your hands over your curves just for show.

Your purse was on the table beside the sofa and, as you picked it up, you said with a barely hidden smirk, “I’d better get home.  Maybe we can have dessert tomorrow?”

The slight jump you noticed in his pants told you he knew exactly what you meant, and that he couldn’t exactly stand up right now.  You bit your lip, sent a sexy smile his way and said, “Goodnight, Steve,” before sauntering your way to the door.  You knew his eyes were on you, best to make it count.    

Last summer, he had taken a crucial step towards that goal by spending time in New York City, taking acting lessons and getting an internship. The experience had cemented his decision to move to Los Angeles after school was over.  Every time you'd spoken, he'd gushed over how amazing it was, the contacts he was making, how much he was improving. He'd been so confident that he was going to make it, saying that he "just knew it" and you had no doubt that he would.

The time apart had been hard.  You had been a couple since just after you'd turned 16,  and things were serious. Not “getting engaged tomorrow” serious, but you’d had those “one day” talks about the type of home you would have together, the number and gender of children.  Little white picket fence daydreams. He’d be a big movie star, a leading man, and you would own a franchise of flower shops throughout the country and be free to travel the world with him on locations.

You’d come to find that those had been wistful daydreams.  The reality of what it would be like to be with someone who was away for work a lot was harder than you’d thought.  Being apart for those three months had been brutal, but you'd worked through it. There had been nightly calls and a few weekend trips back and forth to see each other.  But it hadn't been enough and you'd truly questioned if you’d be able to handle the separations on a regular basis if things went as he hoped.

Those questions and doubts had plagued you over the last year.  You tried to discuss them with Chris, but he instantly got defensive about it.  You often wondered if it was because the concerns hit too close to home for him, as well. Rather than talk about it, he just avoided the situation altogether by simply doing nothing.  In his eyes, even with him in California, things would be normal. He was too stubborn to believe anything otherwise.  

Chris had always suffered from anxiety and self criticism.  They were his greatest weaknesses. He had no doubt whatsoever as to what he wanted to do with his life, but, as the reality of leaving everything and everyone he knew behind drew nearer, he seemed to shut down. It was easier to stay where he was than to take that first step towards chasing his dreams.  Chris made no plans, booked no flights to California, made no headway. He just stayed home, spent time with friends, and hung around the flower shop until your parents chased him out.

After several conversations, it was clear to you that one of things holding him back was his concern over your relationship.  This wasn’t going to be a couple of months, his career choice was going to mean a somewhat permanent separation. There could be visits here and there, but, for the most part, it was going to be long distance in different time zones.  Without saying it, you both knew in your hearts that it wasn’t something you’d be able to maintain for years.

That was why your heart was in shreds.  

You weren’t the type of person who could selfishly stand in the way of anyone’s dreams.  Even if it meant saying goodbye. Not because you wanted to, but because you had to. Because you loved him enough to let him go. And you were scared to have your heart broken by him.

You’d gone out to lunch with his mom, Lisa, a few times after graduation.  She had been trying, to no avail, to get him to make some decisions about his future.  Lisa understood her son better than anyone, and was also incredible understanding and respectful of your relationship with him.  You both wanted what was best for him, both wanted to see him give his dream a shot. It was clear to you both, however, that the biggest obstacle in his way… was you.

It was now the end of August and decisions needed to be made.  You were going to be starting business school and he needed to get to California to establish himself. The time had come to push him outside of his comfort zone.

Chris was a wreck. The more time that went by, the more tired and stressed he became.  Until he took the plunge, he would be a prisoner of his own worries. He expressed that he knew that the time had come to make a choice, but he just couldn’t bring himself to make one.

You talked things over with your parents, and with his. You had made the choice for him, and you needed everyone on board to back you up -- for his sake. Now you just had to see it through without changing your mind.

Dinner was a quiet affair the evening you decided to put your plan into motion and your mind everywhere else except for the meal. Although it was your favorite restaurant, you could barely taste your food.  The drive back to his house was in complete silence as you built up enough strength do go through with your plan.

He opened your car door for you and fell in step beside you on the walk up the driveway.  

His voice was full of frustration and concern as he as asked, “What’s going on? You barely spoke at dinner, barely said two words in the car. Are you okay?”

You stopped walking and, not able to look at his face just yet, said, as seriously as you could, “We need to break up.”

Chris stopped walking, coming to a sudden halt.  “We what?!” he asked, grabbing your arm to keep you from passing him.  “What the fuck are you talking about? Why do we -”

You heard the hurt in his voice and decided to keep your voice monotone, hoping to avoid his anger escalating. “Because it’s time.  You need to move on and so do I.” You couldn’t look at him. Instead you kept your eyes trained on a the ground as you nodded your head to emphasize your words

With a sarcastic and snarky tone he threw your words back at you.  “It’s time? It’s time for WHAT exactly?”

He was angry now.  Good.

You were standing in his parent’s driveway and just praying that everyone inside would mind their own business and not come out to investigate.

Finally meeting his eyes, your face as stone cold as possible, you told him, “It’s time for you to shit or get off the pot.  I mean seriously, Chris, what are you still doing here in Sudbury? Hollywood is on the opposite coast, you’re never going anywhere if you stay here.”

His voice was rising, his arms flailing as he went into a whole new level of sarcasm.   “What am I still doing here? Oh, I don’t know, maybe trying to figure out why the fuck my girlfriend is suddenly trying to get rid of me.”

You didn’t answer.  You couldn’t. Instead, you turned away, looking towards the cars as you willed this moment to be over so you could escape from the nightmare you’d entered.

“Hello?” he said, moving his head into your line of sight, “Is anyone home? I’m speaking to the person inside of my girlfriend now.  You know, the sane person? Can she come back out now because I really like her more than this crazy ass bit-”

You grabbed his hand as it waved in front of your face and stopped him before he could get any farther. In a voice dripping with derision, you said, “Believe me, she’s here, and she’s never been saner in her entire life.”

Chris took a step back, bracing his hands upon his hips.  He was in full on asshole mode now, which was exactly where you wanted him.  He shrugged his shoulders, cocked his head and asked, “So what is it, then? Why are you trying to push me away, huh?”  His hands went on the move again, hands formed into fists as he shook them, demanding, “Why. Do. You. Want. To. Break. Up. With. Me?”

You were silent, trying to form words, but found none coming.  

He put his hands on your shoulders to try to keep you focused on him.  Shaking you slightly, he said, “Why? Answer me, for fuck’s sake!”

You knocked his hands off, looked him directly in the eyes and shouted, “Because I don’t love you anymore!”  

As the words left your mouth, they formed daggers, ripping into your heart as much as his.  When he flinched and you saw the pained expression on his face, your stomach clenched in reaction, feeling like you’d been sucker punched.

You didn’t mean it, not even a tiny bit, but you knew Chris wouldn’t leave if you held back. Given the look in his eyes, and the tears forming in them, he was apparently not the only good actor in this relationship. Doing this, letting him go, was one of the most difficult decisions you had ever been forced to make, but Chris had big dreams and needed to pursue them.

No matter how much it broke your heart.

He looked lost, and broken.  The swagger that had been there a moment ago was now deflated like a balloon.  He looked at you, warily, and said, in voice crackling with emotions, “I don’t understand.  How can you not love me anymore? Since when? Is this some kind of sick fuckin’ joke?”

You bit back an apology, and blinked back your tears.  You life was here, in Sudbury. You couldn’t go with him.  That wasn’t your dream. Chris needed to follow his and it was clear that he wouldn’t move to Hollywood while he had you in his life. You had no desire or intention of following him there.  The only choice you had was to let him go.

Chris reached out to touch you and you backed away.  It would destroy your resolve if you let him hug you or if you broke down into tears like the ones streaming down his face.  At that moment, you realized the first person to walk away had to be you. There was no way you could take another second of seeing that defeated and pained expression on his face and remain convincing in your charade.

“Goodbye, Chris.” you said and turned away, heading towards your car, which you had left there earlier.  It was the longest walk of your life, but you did it. To his credit, he didn’t call out after you, didn’t try to stop you.  When you hazarded a glance in his direction as you put your car into reverse, you saw him just standing there with his hands on his hips, watching you go.  You managed to make it to park a few blocks away before needing to pull over and unleash the floodgates of emotions you’d been storing.

Your heart had never felt so broken in your entire life.  You didn’t know how you were ever going to be able to piece it back together.     

It took a few days, but Chris finally stopped calling, stopped coming to your parent’s house just to be turned away.  It had to be a clean break. It was the only way it would work.

Lisa Evans came to the flower shop about a week later to see you.  She told you of Chris’s sudden change of heart and that he’d finally decided to leave. His dad had flown to California with him that morning to help him find a place and get settled.  

Knowing that he was gone made it official. The final nail in the coffin hit you hard and there was no stopping your emotions from bubbling over. Lisa wrapped her arms around you and hugged you tight.  

When you tears finally stopped, she released your body, but not your face.  That she held, cupped in her hands as she told her honestly, “I’ll never forget what you did for my baby.  I hope one day you and Chris can talk about this and become friends. I love you, sweetheart, and if there’s anything you ever need I’ll be there for you.”

You didn’t know how you’d ever love again.  You still didn’t know if your choice was worth it.  But, what was done was done and the past can never be changed. Only time would tell if it was the right call for both of you.

SOMETHING’S STUCK:  Chris Evans x Reader  Summary:  While wrapping Christmas presents, you decide to give Chris a sexy, early present. Warnings:  Sexual situations   Word Count: 294

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LET IT SNOW/LICK IT SLOW: Chris Evans x Reader  Summary: While driving home together after a day of holiday shopping, you decide to make up your own lyrics and take things into your own hands... or mouth. Warnings:  Sexual Situations.  Word Count: 266

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SNOWFLAKES:  Chris Evans x Reader  Summary: A lovely Winter’s day walk in the snow with Dodger.  Warnings:  None  Word Count: 236

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SPECIAL ADVENT:  Chris Evans x Reader   Summary:  Chris comes up with a fun and sexy twist on the Advent calendar.  Warnings:  Sexual Situations Word Count: 308

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GINGERBREAD FAMILY:  Chris Evans x Reader Summary:  While decorating gingerbread with Chris and his family, your choice of colors gives away a secret you’ve been hiding.  Warnings: None    Word Count: 344

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FROZEN ASSETS:  Chris Evans x Reader    Summary:  You emerge from a restaurant to find it’s been snowing.  A snowball fight ensues while cleaning off the car.  Warnings:  None   Word Count: 557

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THE EYES HAVE IT:  Chris Evans x Reader Summary:  You spot a handsome man across the room during a party that keeps looking your way.  Far away flirtations begin.   Tumblr

FRANK ADLER/GIFTED STORIES

HOMEMADE HOLIDAY:  Frank Adler/Mary Adler  Summary:  Mary comes home from school and she and Frank work on creating feeders for the birds and squirrels as a gift for the season.  Warnings:  None  Word Count:  410

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THE WISHBONE:  Frank Adler/Mary Adler x Reader  Summary:  After Thanksgiving dinner, Mary asks you to make a wish.  You never dreamed it would come true.  Warnings:  None   Word Count: 264

By the time night fell, you were utterly exhausted and barely functioning.  They made you leave the house and took you to theirs.  Lisa wouldn’t hear of you spending the evening alone in the house where you’d just lost your mother that morning.  You protested at first, but the relief of being cared for won out and you went along with her request.  Shanna stayed with you as you  packed an overnight bag and then you drove to their home.

Chris surprised you all when he walked in about an hour after you arrived at her home.  It turned out that he'd hopped on the first flight he could take home from California.  He swept you up into a tight embrace and quieted your concerns, saying that he wasn’t needed on set anywhere and wanted to be with you.  All of the kindness and caring, and now Chris, took you by surprise and you were suddenly overwhelmed and broke out into sobs. You felt loved, you felt supported, you felt whole in his arms and with this family.   Once the floodgates opened, it was difficult to stop, but eventually you did run out of tears and energy to cry any longer.

Everyone sat with you around the kitchen table and lent their support while you finally talked about your loss.  Lisa had ordered some delivery for dinner and you forced some food down, under her watchful eye.  You had no real appetite for food, though. What you really wanted was liquor. You felt like drinking until you couldn’t think about things anymore.  Until the pain stopped.

Luckily, they had booze on hand and were more than willing to accommodate your request for it.  Lisa went upstairs to set up Scott’s old room for you.  He was now living in California full time and wasn’t going to be home any time soon. He was working on a tv show and couldn’t get out of it to come home, but he sent his love and condolences.

The siblings all took you downstairs to the basement, which was set up like family room. An entertainment center, table and chairs were all in place, along with multiple couches.  Carly and Chris had each grabbed some bottles, Shanna had grabbed some glasses and snacks.  Someone got the music playing and then drinks began to pour.  

You started to feel a buzz, but you wanted more than that so you started pouring shots.  A couple of those did the trick, and you went from pleasantly buzzed to easily amused, and slightly numb to the pain in your heart.  The silliest thing could make you giggle and the conversation had you all roaring with hysterics at times.  The alcohol allowed you to compartmentalize.  You sang along, played drinking game after drinking game, putting out of your mind that today was one of the worst days of your life.

The alcohol had worked it’s magic on everyone.  You, in particular, were feeling no pain and enjoying the feeling of being loose and irresponsible.  It had been years since you’d been able to have fun like this.  Years since you’d been able to spend time with people your age, people you could trust,  Your twenties were supposed to be a time a explore new things, party and have fun.  You’d never gotten the chance to do that.  There was always a parent that needed you, or the business that needed you.  Tonight, for the first time in forever, there was nothing to worry about.

After one particularly raucous round of laughter, Carly, Chris’s older sister, placed an arm around your shoulders and planted a big smooch upon your cheek. “I forgot how much fun this is!” she said.  “This reminds me of last time we got drunk together.  When was that? 2000, 2001?”

“Oh my god, it does, doesn’t it? After that disastrous blind date, right?” Shanna chimed in, clinking glasses with you both as you laughed giddly.

“I guess making me forget my sorrows with booze is now officially your job, ladies,” you quipped, raising your glass as a toast to them.

Shanna was about to say something else when Chris suddenly exclaimed from across the table his voice growing louder with each word. “Wait a minute! Did you just say you guys were all drinking together after I left?  You were having a grand old time with the woman that had destroyed me and set fire to my fuckin’ heart?!”

Defensively, Shanna explained, “It was at least a year after that, Chris.”

Chris dropped his head back and gave a dramatic eye roll.  “Oh, well that just makes it all better, now doesn’t it.  You know what I was doing a year later? Still trying to find a way to trust another woman.  Because women are fucking crazy.”

Carly stepped in and waved her hand towards him, dismissively.  “Oh please, spare us the drama.  Men are no cakewalk to deal with and you were enjoying yourself quite a bit out there from what I can remember.”

“What was I supposed to do?” he sneered at her, “Live with my left hand and the memories of a woman who went all Jekyll and Hyde on me one night.” He turned his attention towards you and you needed to look at your hands as he stared you down.  “A woman who couldn’t even find the balls to talk to me after? Who didn’t have the decency to explain herself or tell me what I did to deserve it?”  

Chris stopped talking long enough to take pour himself another shot and down it.  Once he swallowed it, he muttered, passive aggressively, “What kind of woman even does that?”

A soft singing of “Uh oh,” came from Shanna, but Carly sat back in her chair and slammed her hand on the table.  “The kind that get shit done, little brother.”  You were frozen in place, eyes avoiding everyone, hoping that it made you invisible.  

Confusion and anger were strong in Chris’s voice as he snapped back, “And just what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Carly leaned forward, brushing your hand away as you tried to stop her.  They glared at each other as she informed him, “She did what she had to do to push you out of the nest.  Lord knows how long you would have dragged your feet if she hadn’t burned your safety blanket.”

He looked straight at you now, then glanced at his sisters before turning his attention back your way. Lost, he asked you directly, “I don’t understand. What is she talking about?”

You were squirming under the laserfocus of his eyes and unable to speak.  Instead, you took another long swig of your drink and then kept your gaze trained on on the bottle as you meticulously peeled off strips of the label.   Your avoidance to his question, apparently, started to string some pieces together for him.

“What did you do?” he asked you.  Chris was bracing his hands along the edge of the table.  When you looked at his fingers, you could see they were turning white from the pressure he was exuding upon them.  With a bang of his fist on the table, he shouted, “Answer me!!”   The sound broke you out of your trance.  A vein was pulsing in his forehead.  His face was red from the anger, his nostrils flaring as he tried to control his breathing.  

Now you were the one who was pissed.  No one spoke to you with that tone of voice and got away with it.  Especially now when your filter was gone.

“Fine!” You shouted back, in a voice just as loud and angry as the one he used on you.  “You wanna know the truth? The truth is that as long as you had a skirt to hide behind you were NEVER going to get out of your safe little comfort zone and follow your dreams, so I put on a pair of pants.”

Chris finally saw the full picture and could only sit there in shock.  There was no stopping the truth train now that it had left the station.  You lowered your voice, but didn’t take the venom out of your tone. “Your mom was trying so hard to get you to leave, but you wouldn’t go!  She said that you told her the summer before had been so hard on you because of me.  That you kept telling her you didn’t think you could do the long distance thing all the time. So I made the tough decision for you. Problem solved.”

He glowered at you.  “You said you didn’t love me anymore! That you were breaking up with me because you didn’t love me anymore!”

“I LIED!!” you screamed, before lowering your voice to almost a whisper as you confessed, “I lied. ”

Chris was dumbfounded, his eyes searching your face for answers that you had no idea if you were giving him or not.

“You lied?” He stated flatly.  Chris’s hands went into his hair, then passed over his face as he groaned, “Do you have any idea what that fucking lie did to me?  How fucking distraught I was over it?  How much doubt and confusion I lived with afterwards?”

Chris’s voice grew louder and stronger, sounding accusatory.  His fingers were once again pressed into the table top so hard that they were turning white as he continued, “Can you even begin to fathom how depressed I was in a strange city, all alone, having just gotten dumped by the woman I loved?  Spending my nights trying to figure out how I didn’t see it? How I could have been so god damn blind to you hating me like that?”

The truth was, you hadn’t thought about that. And now you felt like a complete asshole for never bothering to see things from his side.  You'd ignored him and his feelings after the breakup, too busy feeling pity for yourself when it all went down.

Shanna piped in, “Chris, stop yelling at her! She was only trying to protect you, to help you.”

Chris sneered at his little sister, “No, you don’t get to tell me how to feel, Shanna. This is between me and her,” he said, pointing between the two of you.   He turned his attention back to you and narrowed his eyes, his jaw tight.  “I just don’t understand how you claim to love someone and then just flip it off like that and be so heartless.”

“Heartless?” you repeated, sarcastically, leaning forward in your chair as you clutched your chest and said, earnestly, “Chris, you were the love of my life! I’ve never loved anyone else the way that I loved you. Not before, not after.”  You let your body fall back and shrugged your shoulders, adding, “But it was better that I break my own heart, than let you do it for me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, that I broke up with you to force your hand, but I also did it because I knew it was inevitable once you left.  It was hard to be alone for three months, but we got to see each other every couple of weeks because we weren’t too far away.  That wasn’t going to be the case on opposite coasts.”

“We could’ve made it work, somehow.”

“How? It’s not like either of us had the money to hop on a plane all the time.  Besides, how long was it going to be before you started to mingle?  You’re a good looking guy, confident, and back then you had the libido of a rabbit.  How long were you going to be able to keep it in your pants, Christopher?”

He didn’t respond with words.  Instead, he sat there with his arms crossed, his head giving little shakes of disapproval at the accusations.  

Wanting to hammer in your point, you lowered your voice and spat out at him,  “You think I wanted to be all the way across the country worrying about who was in your bed?” It came out bitter and you instantly regretted it, but there was no way to take it back.  He reacted to them like he just took a slap to the face.  

Chris got defensive and loud again, his sisters rallied on your side and everyone was talking over each other in a heated debate.  .  

“Hey, hey, HEY!” their mother shouted as she hurried down the stairs and towards the table.  “What the hell is going on down here?  I could hear you guys yelling from the second floor!”

“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” Chris said, jumping in immediately. in a voice dripping with disdain, he explained, “It turns out that when I was dumped it was because my darling ex here thought I wouldn’t leave unless she took my heart and stomped on it first.  And apparently, my sweet, loving sisters knew all about the heartless plan.”

You watched the two of them and saw Chris go from cocky and indignant to total disillusionment as his mom looked around and pursed her lips, avoiding his eyes.

“Oh. My. God.  You were in on this, too?  Did everyone know she did this but me?  Did dad know?”

Lisa nodded slightly, to indicate that he was correct, and then said softly, “She did it for you, dear.  She -”

Snidely, he said, “No, mom, she did it for herself.  She just admitted that much before you came down.”  He stared you down and added bitterly, “Apparently, she’s a jealous bitch who thinks I only have one brain and it’s in my dick.”

You started to argue, but stopped when Lisa held out a warning hand to stop you. In a low, clipped voice she chastised him angrily.  “Christopher! This poor girl lost her mother today.  I know you’re hurt, but show some restraint and compassion for Christ’s sake. Your drunk, it’s time to keep your fucking mouth shut before you say something else you’ll regret later.  Go to bed.”

He started to open his mouth to reply, but she cut him off with a look and a pointed finger.  She turned and addressed the rest of you.

“Party’s over, you guys have had more than enough for one night.  We’ll deal with this mess in the morning.”

“Yes, mom,” the girls each said, sheepishly.  They quickly cleaned up the bottles from the table, clearing everything into the trash can in the corner.   You had a feeling that no one was looking forward to the breakfast table.

A hand came onto your shoulder and you looked up to find it was Lisa’s. Her eyes were soft and full of remorse. “C’mon, let’s get you upstairs.”

You felt like a ton of bricks had landed upon you.  Hazarding a glance towards Chris, you found him sitting in the chair and chewing on the edge of his thumb.  He was looking down at the floor, and it felt like waves of hatred were coming your way.  You swallowed hard and wobbled your way up from the chair, the alcohol and exhaustion hitting you all at once.  

Lisa helped you get your balance, then held onto your arm and helped you navigate your way up the staircase.