#my gosh...

Landon:

As disconcerting, as it should be, to hear the soft quake of thunder as I rose out of bed, I took this as a sign of things to come than an omen that it would usually be. I didn’t think this would be a premonition of horrible realities, fueled by the paranoia in my gut, but it was a nagging feeling. It made sitting up a little harder than usual. Even harder, still, was when I reached for my tablet to check my mail. The usual notifications had filled my inbox over the night, and I read through them all. But from the corner of my eye, I couldn’t ignore the two notifications that had arrived to my school email. As quiet as the thunder was when it woke me up, a clap of its ferocity echoed above me when I ran out of the usual emails to skim through.

I wasn’t decided if I wanted to check my academic inbox or not, but I knew that I couldn’t ignore it forever. My fingers hovered over the notifications, and a strange hollowness had come inside of me unexpectedly. As if my insides had turned into snakes, and I could feel them coil underneath my skin. They tightened like steel bolts while I kept myself as steady as I could.

I feared that if I received the email I was waiting for, I’d only be met with disappointment. I feared that if I didn’t receive the email I was waiting for, there would just be one more person in my life that I somehow failed. My paranoia had turned into a witch during my sleep and its voice was but a whisper against my ears. That somehow, I had failed myself. Such irrationality didn’t make sense, but it didn’t have to. It was early in the morning, and I had to brush these thoughts aside. They were just adding stress that I didn’t need in my life right now.

As the soft pitter patter of rain pelted against my window, I found the strength to check my other emails. The first that caught my eye was an email about an organization or something. The second email...was from ‘Other Joey’. She had replied back some time last night. Instead of deleting the email like I thought, she read my story and decided to reach out as well. Her response was short, concise. Almost whimsical and dripping with a casualness that I didn’t have when I reached out to her, initially. I didn’t seem to mind. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t know what to say either. But here’s what I can say about her response.

She told me that my email was probably the most random one she has ever received in her life but somehow, it had made her day. As a writer, I was thrilled. As an average person with jittering paranoia and unsure of who ‘Other Joey’ would be like, it quelled some demons that had me hollow inside. Perhaps I read her response two or three times, slowly coming to terms that I wasn’t dreaming and that this was real. All of this was not a playwright from my mind, but reality as I went through the steps of realization. At the very end of her response, ‘Other Joey’ agreed that we should meet up next week. She, too, was curious and wanted to hear this story in-person -- from me.

A strange, yet rational thought came into my mind: “In a fanfic, this is probably how two characters meet up and eventually fall in love or at least, grow a really strong bond as they go through trials together and realize that they’ve got each other’s backs through the thick of it all.”

This was my response to myself: “I need to take a break from writing fanfic, but you make a good point, Me.”

Indeed, these sequences of events have begun to piece together like a story. Instead of leading the story as a writer, I’ve become a character -- bounded to the likes of what Fate has in store for ‘Other Joey’ and for me. I don’t know what will happen when we meet next week. Since she’s also a business major -- I suspect that she’s socially-active, charming with her words, and easy-going when interacting with others. I suspect she’ll see me as a quiet guy, who speaks a bit too formal when it comes to hanging out. Or maybe in the end, we’ll surprise ourselves and see what happens from there.

Will we become acquaintances, or shall we resume our lives as two ships sailing through the night? Only to pass and greet, but never to stay and meet? Those are the questions that are in my mind now.

Just wanted to say, I read your jake fic, penance. I can't rb it bc minors follow me so I just wanted to say, as someone who has seen and survived dv your fic was beautiful and very therapeutic. I love how much empathy you had for y/n. I love how accurately Jake's pov was written, I love how you make it clear y/n was loved. You write like someone who understands ☁️🫂 i quit dark fics mostly for my own happiness and bc the trends lately tend to be things that trigger me but I knew when I read the blurb and intro for some reason that this once would be a safe read for me

Sending hugs, happy writing from a fellow enha writer.

-👑🥀