#my boys..

“Trying to leave again?” Meneldir hears. He freezes, then curses himself under his breath. He made a little too much noise in his hurried attempt to pack his belongings and woke his unwelcome companion who really should be at home.

“Yes. and I would ask that you do not follow me this time.” it’s a futile request, hardly the first time nor the last time he would make it, but he felt the need to say it nonetheless. Tossdir does not belong here in exile, but he was going to follow Meneldir anyway, and Meneldir would try to lose him. Maybe he’d get lucky and actually convince his little brother to go home this time. Maybe.

“Can… Can we not do this right now? I really don’t want to spend today trying to track you down…”

“Then go home. As I’ve been trying to tell you–”

“That’s not what I meant!” Tossdir sounds… almost angry. Meneldir is taken aback by it. “...do you even know what day it is?”

“I was not keeping track, but I do not see how that–”

“It’s February twenty-first.” he states, his tone sharp and hurt.

Oh. That time already… These dates have a way of sneaking up on him.

He understands the reason for Tossdir’s mood now. This is the day their parents died.

“I just…” Tossdir continues, trying to hide the shaking in his voice, but whether it is from anger or sorrow Meneldir cannot tell “I understand that you still want me gone, but I really don’t want to be alone today. Please. Just be here for me. You can run all you want afterwards but… just not today.” sorrow then, Meneldir thinks.

“Ah.” He clears his throat uncomfortably and stops packing “That… changes my plans then. I will stay for now.”

Tossdir had always been a very sentimental person, holding keepsakes from people who were close to him and keeping track of dates such as these was always something he placed a great deal of importance on. It’s not an unusual trait for a Dúnedan, but it made anniversaries like these very difficult for him.

Meneldir still thinks it would be better for him to be at home, with Bregadir and the other rangers –the family who is actually worthy of him– but it’s not as if that can be arranged right now. Dour as it may be, Meneldir’s company will have to do.

He walks over to where Tossdir is standing. He opens his arms slightly in an invitation for a hug, but he’s not sure if Tossdir would even want it. He has every right to be pissed at him, he just tried to abandon him in the wilderness on the anniversary of their parents’ deaths for fuck’s sake. The guilt threatens to eat him alive. Another mistake to add to the long list–

Tossdir suddenly hugs him with nearly enough force to knock him off his feet, forcing a slight ‘oof’ sound from him. Meneldir wraps both his arms and cloak around him, staving off the late winter chill.

“...and for the record, I don’t want you gone. I just want you to go home, where you’ll be better off.” he says quietly, words steeped with shame.

“...I don’t see the difference.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been a terrible brother.” he sighs.

“You’re my only brother, I’ll take what I can get.” Tossdir hugs him a little tighter. Meneldir thinks he might be crying- nevermind, they're both crying.

Meneldir promised he wasn’t going to try leaving today, but he thinks to stick around a little longer than that. It’s winter, traveling is unpleasant and the snow would make him easy for Tossdir to track. No sense in trying to leave until spring at least. They’ve found a good location for their camp anyway, it would be a shame to waste it.

Well, those were the justifications Meneldir told himself at least. In reality, he simply didn’t want to be alone either. Running from seemingly the only person who still loves him is the hardest thing to do, and selfish as it is to stop, he just can’t manage it right now. There is still some flight in him, but not today.