1:32 AM - Satan x asexual reader
After ages of overthinking and second guessing, Satan confides in his more than excited brother for romance advice. What he didn't mean was to find out that you were not attracted to him in the ways he was expecting.
Love couldn’t even begin to describe the things Satan felt for you. He was absolutely enamored. You consumed his every thought; from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep. It was almost enough to make him angry.
His anger only grew when he found himself unable to distinguish your feelings for him, whether romantic or platonic. You would spend time with him, rest in his room, indulge him whenever he would get absorbed into his reading; But you did that with all his brothers. though Satan couldn’t help but think he was a different case.
In an act of desperation, Satan turns to his closest brother, at least by age, Asmodeus. It was humiliating, sure, but he couldn’t think of anything more humiliating than confessing his feelings, only to be rejected by someone he has to see at the breakfast table every morning.Â
He hesitantly knocked on the younger brother's door. “Asmo, I need your help.”
Asmo, as if summoned, opened the door with glee. “Help? From me?” he said, feigning innocence. It quickly turns to giddy as he grabs Satan's arm and drags him into the room. “Come come!”
Asmo practically pushes Satan to sit on the edge of his bed and sits next to him, failing horribly to hide his excitement. “So, tell me, what could your stylish younger brother help you with?” he smirks.
Satan grimaces, realizing there’s no way he could get out of this now. “You are way too excited about this…” he mutters.
“Obviously!” he pouts and says like it’s a given. “How can I not be? you never ask me for anything, meaning this must be something only I can help you with.”Â
Satan sighs in defeat. Asmo was right, this is something only he can help with. “It’s about…Mc…” he admits.
Asmo looks almost surprised. “Wait- you want my help with them?” he says in disbelief. "Don't tell me you still haven’t told them.”Â
“Please Satan, I think everyone in this house knows that you’re obsessed with them.” Asmo says deadpanned. “I thought you would’ve told them by now! Why haven’t you?”
Satan has lost count for the number of times he’s sighed since entering Asmo's room. “I just…I can't tell what they’re thinking. One moment I feel like we’re sharing some tender moment, and the next I feel like they’re treating me like the rest of you.” he explains in a tone that sounded way meaner than he intended.
“Ouch.” Asmo says in fake offense. “So, you want my advice then?”
Satan shakes his head. “No, I uh…I wanted you to tell me if you’ve…ever felt your pact glow when they’re near me…”.
Ever since you’ve made a pact with the brothers, you’ve been bound to them by their sin. Satan was the first to notice, feeling his pact glow and hum when you got frustrated over a homework assignment you were working on together. He figured if there was any chance you might have feelings for him, the Avatar of Lust would know.
Asmo's eyes widened at Satan's request. He was hoping to give Satan romance advice or maybe some style tips if he’d let him. Satan falls back on the bed in exhaustion at Asmo's face.
“It's stupid and a complete invasion of privacy, I know. I just don’t know what to do…” he mumbles. “I feel like I could read any book, but no amount of reading could make me understand them.”Â
Asmo thinks for a moment. Just as Satan is about to sit up and leave, Asmo speaks up. “The answer is no; our pact has never glowed when they’re around you.” he tells Satan.
Satan feels like digging himself in a hole and never crawling out. There's a pit in his stomach threatening to grow into a fiery fit of anger. Not at you, but at himself for even thinking this was a possibility. He stands up, turning to Asmo to thank him before he leaves, but when he looks at him, he sees Asmo staring into space thoughtfully.
“Now that you mention it though, I don’t think I’ve ever felt our pact glow…” he looks up at Satan. “That's strange right? I mean, it’s never even glowed around me. me!? that can’t be right!”Â
Satan watches as Asmo slowly realizes that you feel absolutely no lust when you’re around the manifestation of lust itself. Satan can’t get a word out through Asmos blabbering, so he mutters a thank you before retreating back to his room.Â
The next morning, you hear a knock at your door. When you open the door, you see Satan, looking like he didn’t get a wink of sleep. “Satan? Are you alright? did you sleep at all?” you ask, immediately concerned.
“I'm fine, I was up reading. Can I come in?” he asks, sounding calmer and more content than he is most days. You nod and step aside to let him in. He doesn’t move very far into your room though. Instead, he stands closer to you, spooking you a little when you turn around to see him after you close the door.
“Can we talk?” His voice has a slight hoarseness to it.Â
“Yeah, of course. What's on your mind?” you ask, a little unnerved at his difference in demeanor.Â
His eyes roam your face, as if trying to trace over your every pore. It makes your heart race, your body feeling much smaller under his gaze. He finally speaks up.
“I don’t know how else to word this other than just saying what it is. Mc, I’m in love with you. I’m so in love with you that I don’t know what to do with myself.” he confesses in complete transparency.Â
Your heart drops and your eyes widen. Nothing could have prepared you for what he was going to say. Before you can even get a word out, Satan continues.
"I've always been so logical. I've never once done something without thinking it through first. Every action I've made was in confidence. but around you, I can't even think straight.” his eyebrows furrow together slightly. He looks like a weight has just been lifted off his shoulders.
You don’t know whether you were dreaming or dreading for this day to come. You loved Satan, you have for a long time, and for that entire time you’ve been debating whether or not to tell him that you’re ace. You wanted to; it was something important to you and you wanted him to know everything about you. But there was always a small voice in the back of your head telling you that he would think you’re weird and abnormal and never want to talk to you again.
It’s not like you were certain Satan shared the same feelings for you, but you couldn’t help but think about that slim chance that he might.Â
What if he was planning to confess to you, but you coming out to him made him change his mind? You would’ve missed out on seeing the demon you’re in love with professing his feelings for you. What if he doesn’t like you at all and you coming out to him just made things weird? Why would you tell him if you didn’t already assume he wanted that from you in the first place? Or what if he does confess, and you tell him, and he takes everything back or he thinks that your jumping way ahead and moving too fast or what if-
Satan's hand on your shoulder snaps you out of your gaze. He's staring at you with the most careful eyes, as if saying anything more than what he already did would break you completely. Little did he know it probably would.
You sigh deeply, opting to look at his blazer than his piercing eyes. “Satan, I…I can’t…”. You hated that you were doing this. You wanted to be with him so bad, yet you’re throwing it all away for your childish feelings. “I love you, Satan. more than I could explain, but I'm…I'm asexual.”Â
You pause, feeling like your heart has just been drained and is now spilling all over the floor. You knew you had to explain yourself quickly before he starts talking again.Â
“I know what it means. And I know that that’s what you are.”Â
After staring at his blue blazer long enough for the color to be engraved in your mind, you finally look up at him. His hand never left your shoulder and his eyes remained in that careful, knowing gaze.Â
“What? But I never told you?”Â
“You didn’t have to. The signs were right there; I was just too love struck to see any of them. You never entertain Asmo when he’s ranting about his hook-ups, you always skip the sex scenes in movies, even when you’re watching on your own, and…your pact with Asmo never glows.” he looks down before adding that final example.Â
“I asked Asmo last night if your pact marks ever glowed when you’re around me. I'm sorry, that was stupid and inappropriate and a complete invasion of your privacy. I was desperate and didn’t think about how much of a violation it was. When he told me that your pact with him had never glowed, I began doing research.” he explains.
You stand in shock as he explains how he once knew somebody who was in a similar predicament as you. He used the little knowledge he had on the subject to research anything he could about asexuality until he was confident enough to approach you without making you go through the hassle of coming out to him.
You don’t know whether to be grateful or freaked out. Based on his eye bags and bed head, he must’ve been up for hours reading.Â
His hand trails down your arm and onto your knuckles. He holds them gently in his hands.Â
“i don’t know exactly where you stand on the spectrum, but i need you to know that i don’t care about whether or not we have sex. I fell in love with the Mc I see before me, and as long as you’re still here, I couldn't ask for anything more.” a smile crawls onto Satan's face. You didn't know it, but Satan was trying to suppress his excitement from your brief love confession earlier.
The melted heart you once had became whole again and is now beating like a schoolgirl. It all seemed too good to be true. “Are you sure…?” you mutter. The thought of Satan wanting more from you in the future was still haunting your thoughts. You needed to know for certain that this wouldn’t be an issue.
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” he says almost immediately. “Mc, I’ve lived for thousands of years. After about 100, you learned that love is a lot harder to come by than lust. And now that I've felt love, there is nothing I wouldn't do to keep it.”
His words almost bring a tear to your eye. you can’t help but smile at them, feeling a relief you thought you’d never feel. Overwhelmed by emotion, you wrap your arms around him tightly, afraid to let go of him now that you have him.
The action shocks him a little before he lets out a chuckle and returns the hug. His face is now inches away from your ear when he mutters “So, does this mean you accept my confession?”.
You let out a breathless laugh, "I guess. Though, it felt more like an interrogation than a confession.”Â
He pulls away just enough to see your face. “Sorry, I was rushing to get everything out.” he leans back towards you, this time resting his forehead on your shoulder. “I really am a mess around you.”
You try not to cheese at his words, attempting to retain your casual demeanor. “Well, to make it up to me we should ditch the dinner table and have breakfast elsewhere. What do you say?”
He lifts his head up to looks at you again. He wants to kiss you so bad, but he knows it’s probably not the most appropriate time in the world. he nods with a warm smile. “That sounds much better than having to see any of the others right now.” he grabs your hand and starts your journey out of the castle.
Before you can let him leave your room though, you stop him. He turns and looks at you in confusion. “By the way, I'm alright with kissing. if you were wondering.”
Satan's eyes widen slightly. Was he that easy to read? A smile tugs at his lips as he continues to gently drag you out of your room. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
author's note: hey guys...long time no see... ive been meaning to write again for ages but i feel like i always write in the same style so i never finish any of them but this came to me late at night and i just had to write it. there are not enough asexual readers in the world so i needed to put it out there. i also made an AO3 under the same username sooo go support me on their pls🙏
