💘 paz and mabel
mabel represented the unattainable, the things pacifica had lost in herself for what seemed like forever, the ultimate tragedy of her life personified in the girl that was smiles and sunshines and everything pacifica claimed to hate. she spent so many years of her life fighting the girl, trying to push her into submission of what society wanted her to be, what they had done to the blonde so many years ago. she thought she wanted to put out the flame that burned so deeply within mabel it was a wonder how she could survive with those sweaters on on top of that, but pacifica was always cold and even being around the other girls flame for a moment gave her that warmth she had been searching for her entire life. that’s what initially drew her to the other girl, the undying warmth inside her heart, the way her smile was like the sun as it lit up the room and made everyone feel that comfort she gave off. pacifica could never truly admit to hating the girl, not when her presence made the constant shivers down her spine disappear, not when despite it all she showed kindness to her in the way pacifica had never felt before. she wanted to touch her sunshine skin and play with her curly hair, say i’m sorry for all i’ve done and kiss her in hopes she could breathe some fire into pacifica’s icy heart. that’s when it hit her, like a punch to the gut or a shot to the heart, that all these years her hatred was nothing but a guise for her love for the girl. her admiration for her strength, her insistence to be who she was despite what the world told her to be, her constant forgiveness yet respect to stand up for herself. she loved her not in spite of who she was but because of all the things she was taught to hate about the girl, because that was everything that made mabel everything she could have wanted, and that’s what scared her the most.
