#invsblity

mabel represented the unattainable, the things pacifica had lost in herself for what seemed like forever, the ultimate tragedy of her life personified in the girl that was smiles and sunshines and everything pacifica claimed to hate. she spent so many years of her life fighting the girl, trying to push her into submission of what society wanted her to be, what they had done to the blonde so many years ago. she thought she wanted to put out the flame that burned so deeply within mabel it was a wonder how she could survive with those sweaters on on top of that, but pacifica was always cold and even being around the other girls flame for a moment gave her that warmth she had been searching for her entire life. that’s what initially drew her to the other girl, the undying warmth inside her heart, the way her smile was like the sun as it lit up the room and made everyone feel that comfort she gave off. pacifica could never truly admit to hating the girl, not when her presence made the constant shivers down her spine disappear, not when despite it all she showed kindness to her in the way pacifica had never felt before. she wanted to touch her sunshine skin and play with her curly hair, say i’m sorry for all i’ve done and kiss her in hopes she could breathe some fire into pacifica’s icy heart. that’s when it hit her, like a punch to the gut or a shot to the heart, that all these years her hatred was nothing but a guise for her love for the girl. her admiration for her strength, her insistence to be who she was despite what the world told her to be, her constant forgiveness yet respect to stand up for herself. she loved her not in spite of who she was but because of all the things she was taught to hate about the girl, because that was everything that made mabel everything she could have wanted, and that’s what scared her the most.

it was delightful. to find someone like mabel. she was weird. in a different way than she was. alice adored it. it was so dreamy to be with her. not in her usual sleepy stupor, but in high action, thrilling adventure. she cold not be passive with mabel. she had to be active. be present. alice wanted to be like her. wanted to be so totally herself. the smile was never far away from alice’s delicate features around the bouncing curls. even as her cheeks ached, alice never wanted the sensation to go away. she wanted to see the world the way mabel did. she wondered if she could see what she sees by feeling her soft lips on hers. the thought surprised her to say the least. alice had always thought the desire to kiss someone would be meant for a boy. but when she saw the way mabel would laugh, alice wanted to taste her laughter. to see if it tasted like the love that seemed to exude from the bright eyed girl.

it was like some tragic forbidden love story, because even though mickey and oswald had never been on the best of terms he knew he couldn’t do that to his brother. that would be cruel, to take a girl his brother once loved and make her his own, give to her the things oswald wanted to, take yet another thing away from his brother like he had all his life. he couldn’t help it though, he tried to resist and he tried to stay away but he couldn’t. it wasn’t supposed to end like this, it was supposed to be a one night thing, maybe two, maybe three. it was just supposed to be kisses in the dark and scratching an itch when no one else was around to do so. there wasn’t supposed to be kisses to the forehead and holding hands, tracing the curve of her nose and playing with her hair, whispering in her ear she was beautiful and he didn’t want her to leave. it wasn’t supposed to end up like this, and even as he realized he had fallen in love with her he knew he couldn’t do anything about it. these violent delights have violent ends and in breaking her heart he broke his own. it was better this way. it was better.

frankly, he hated the way mabel made him feel, because she made him care. he was so used to not giving a shit, to letting everything crash and burn around him because he was too lazy and too defeated to allow anything else effect him. he’d make that mistake in his childhood, and grew up jaded for it, he wouldn’t let himself be tricked into loving again. but then she smiled up at him, and he was reminded of the dork with braces that pacifica showed him on her phone. his heart grew a few sizes then. and it continued to grow the longer he was with her, the more he felt they couldn’t have been more different and he loved her all the more for it. good for her, she deserved to see rainbows as a sign of good luck and get excited when pretty people smile at her. she deserved a lot more than the shit he allowed her to go through, that was for sure. maybe louie was a coward, and maybe he was too lazy, but he couldn’t bring himself to stay the word stop to pacifica. of all the people he’d fucked over, that was his worst crime of all.

if violet was a gloriously raging thunderstorm, mabel was the hopeful rainbow that shone after. the problem was, hinrich wasn’t sure if he wanted to dance in the rain or glide along a rainbow. with violet, he could spend quiet afternoons reading, snuggled together on the couch, sipping cups of tea. but with mabel, every day was an adventure and no day was ever the same- together they had explored every corner of emporia, whether mabel had to drag along hinrich or not. hinrich had never been very decisive, and now he had to make the most important decision of his life: he was in love with two very different women, but which one did he love more? 

violet and meg understood each other on a same, but different level. violet had always been shy, always been hidden, invisible almost. meg taught herself to be all those things, how to change herself and give up the identity she once had for a new one. one of cynicism and resting bitch face, hoping it would scare people away so she didn’t have to put the effort of pushing them away on her own. it was different with violet, meg saw no reason to push her away. she was the one person she could relate to, the one person she could really stand to be around. violet asked no questions, didn’t push for more from meg, and meg did the same for her. they could sit in silence and be comfortable, stand by the wall at parties with a drink in their hand and not expect anything from the other person. it was all this that made meg want to open up, that made meg want to let violet into her hardened heart and see all that she had gone through. it was this that made meg want to see into violet’s own heart herself, wanting to steal a smile from the girl and revel in its beauty. to kiss her gently underneath and call her hers. meg was terrified of love, but with violet it didn’t seem so scary.