This is probably not the best place to post it since this is a FR blog, butĀ does anyone have experience with dissociative episodes? times when you do things but feel like someone else isĀ āat the wheelā, so to speak? Iām really struggling to get a handle on whatās going on with me and any advice/encouragement would really be appreciated because I feel like Iām losing my mind and itās so difficult to explain whatās going on.
I donāt know how much of it is me just being slow to react or whatās me actually being an ass and not taking responsibility later and I canāt get a handle on it. I donāt even know if Iām using the right words for whatās going on, but since I know I haveĀ dissociated before, once it was an out of body experience during a particularly horrible event, and another I lost all grasp of time when I was put in a position where I would have been forced to confront that in a way that was out of my control. When Iām having more general trouble, I feel like my brain shuts down and all of the nice bits of myself disappear and are replaced with some horrible, damaging automated system that has never done anything but get me into more trouble. Yes, I need to learn better ways of dealing with things, but thereās really no reasoning with me when this is going on. Ā Itās painfully slow to get one point across, much less the nuance that is involved in dealing with peopleās emotions. When I say my brain shuts down, I mean it takes me a minute just to get one thought to come out of my mouth, maybe more. And unless I take great care to keep it in my mind, I forget large parts of whatever stressed me out enough to get me into that state once the stress has passed.