#musingx

i feel like i'm burning up with fever, but i'm actually not sure (since we don't have any thermometers around. lol) but today should be good. i can feel that today would be good, just not to me. 😂 just kidding, i need to go now!

I'm trying to remove the toxic mindset of a student which is the idea that "Grades are ALL that I am." It was good, my grades are getting better except for one subject (if you follow my blog u know which one).

Something about either the subject matter or the instructor or maybe even the schedule puts me off in taking that class. Every time I see my instructor I get the feeling that she's judging me. I know she hates me or my habit of being late/absent in her class but the fact that she looks at me at a certain way added to my nervousness that I usually end up avoiding it altogether. I missed three meetings out of 12-ish meetings, and it's not good (since we can only miss three. yikes)

I know I should've dealt with this better but I can't seem to get past my fear of my instructor. I don't know how will I fix this (or if I can even fix this) but i'm really torn right now. I don't know if my bad grade is because of my performance on the specific subject, or the mindset of not treating my grades as important as before.

Today is not a very good day. I'm starting to wonder why my Fridays are always filled with inconveniences and problems; it's borderline comical at this point.

got stomach flu last night

was unable to attend my classes today

was unable to attend my CET Review

the script i wrote got lost

I'm really scared for the Fridays to come, but we all know Fridays are inevitable as long as I'm alive. 😂