@soldierheartcdââ ⨠( Christopher )
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After his mom left him, Christopher had a hard time finding his footing again. It didnât help that while his father was âthereâ for him, he felt like he was hardly home, or off with someone new. Even as a kid he didnât hate him for it. He understood him. He was lonely because his mom wasnât around. But Christopher couldnât help but think who did he have? John Ross was always being shipped around, and whenever he was in town he almost felt like he would show off more than spend time with him. The only bond he felt enormously was with his grandmother Miss Ellie and Grandpa Clayton. Even then, it was really difficult for him. Heâd always been a sweet kid, but the more he felt invisible the more he let his anger take over him. Itâs something heâs had to deal with for most of his life. Reacting first, thinking later. It was almost like if he didnât express what he was feeling immediately, no one would understand. No one would get it.
Not the most rational of processes, but Christopher was a heavily flawed human being. The feeling of abandonment only continued to evolve when he learned the truth about his birth, how he even go to Bobby and Pam, and how his uncle was involved with it. Resentment continued to build. The one good thing that he held onto was spending time with Elena. Itâs why irrationally he called âdibsâ on her, even though he knew no one could really own the rights to someone. But he was just terrified that John Ross or someone else would swoop in and take this person that was finally paying attention to him. Wanting to spend time with just him. For Christopher that was everything. But he was young, and stupid.Â
When Elena didnât show up to get married to him, he closed himself off. He couldnât put more distance between himself, and Southfork. It was riddled with things that had been robbed from him, a legacy looming before him he felt like he would never attain, and a love that was probably never meant to be. Instead of doing the rational thing and trying to find answers, he left. He continued to pursue his course of studies and expanded his research teams. As much success as heâs reached on his own though, he has terrible insecurities with relationships, and even with his father he feels a need to prove himself time and time again. Itâs an exhausting toll on him, and while he knows he needs to work on his reactionary antics, heâs not really done much to resolve them.Â