#muse 7

Faceclaim: Moon ByulYi (Moonbyul) | MAMAMOO Skeleton: Muse 7 Nome da Personagem: Jeon JiHee. Data de Nascimento / Idade: 09/10/1992 | 27 anos Nacionalidade: Sul-coreana.

Biografia—

Dentro de casa lhe era liberto o ato de ser quem era com naturalidade. Seu irmão, três anos mais velho, estava mais ocupado com suas próprias brincadeiras e interesses para dar atenção adequada para a menina. E seu pai, um homem atarefado e que arduamente trabalhava por dias inteiros fora de casa com o objetivo de sustentar sua prole, encontrava dificuldade em achar tempo para realmente impor limites nos filhos. Limites. Essa é uma palavra que Jihee dificilmente se recorda, esquecida no seu dicionário interno de conceitos ainda que atualmente. Nunca lhe foi casual parar para pensar demais, racionalmente, se guiando então majoritariamente pelo que sente e vivendo o que lhe é oferecido. Quando se cresce sendo um ser obstinado como Jihee sempre foi, sedenta por experiências, é difícil não cruzar linhas ao longo do caminho, especialmente quando não se freia para respirar fundo e analisar o que vem a seguir. 

Talvez crescer apaixonada pelos personagens perseverantes e inabaláveis dos livros empoeirados da mais alta prateleira de seu pai tenha ajudado Jihee a crescer otimista. Mais um parágrafo absorvido sobre como é possível superar barreiras e fazer o que se ama apesar das dificuldades e a menina se via cada vez mais crente de que ela também poderia ser forte como um guerreiro. Não se pode afirmar que tivera de lutar muito na vida — pelo contrário, alguns diriam que a lua abençoara Jihee com uma sorte sem tamanho. Tinha um pai que lhe cuidava e lhe protegia da forma que lhe era possível, estudava em uma escola de renome, tinha vários amigos e sempre chamara atenção pela simpatia e charme que exalava sem se esforçar, se vendo exposta a várias oportunidades que lhe apareciam por apenas estar no lugar certo e na hora certa. Não obstante, também não é justo dizer que não enfrentara problemas, especialmente na sua adolescência quando começou a se expressar mais através do seu jeito sem gênero de se vestir e dava mais atenção ao time de basquete do que pras lojas de maquiagem; mas o fato é que Jihee consumia uma necessidade faminta de se mostrar resiliente, destemida, em todos os momentos da vida. Logo, o sorriso sempre otimista no rosto e as risadas extravagantes e frouxas convenciam todos ao seu redor de que nada muito lhe abalava. Jihee era quem fosse e sua força de vontade a conduziria pelo resto da vida longe do medo do fracasso. 

O que não era verdade.

Tanto medo tinha que corria de toda colisão que lhe era previsível — e também das que acabavam não sendo. Jeon ia de frente quando estava confiante de que poderia lidar com a situação, que poderia vencer as barreiras que tanto lera sobre em sua infância e que a educaram enquanto seus responsáveis não estavam presentes. Seguia otimista, de fato, mas a garota nunca aprendera a ser meio termo. Ou era, ou não era. O limite era tênue, quase inexistente, como sempre. Logo, se pudesse evitar qualquer tipo de atrito ou conflito, ela o faria sem pensar duas vezes.

Na adolescência, cultivava o basquete como hobbie no colégio, mas também tinha a dança como um interesse ávido. Seu cotidiano girava em torno de treinar o esporte com o time da escola, escrever seus contos em casa e sair para dançar com os amigos. Não sempre nessa ordem, mas a atenção da jovem Jihee era voltada especialmente para essas três atividades. Ela não tinha certeza se seguiria em um daqueles ramos profissionalmente no futuro, mas não era realmente uma preocupação, já que se planejar nunca foi seu forte. Jihee cresceu proativa visto que aprendera a ser independente desde cedo, o que levou-a então, em adição a pressão que sentira sobre o que fazer ao que terminasse o ensino médio, a correr atrás de uma oportunidade de crescer como uma escritora, talvez em um desejo de querer algum dia fazer as outras pessoas sentirem e crescerem do jeitinho que ela mesma cresceu, fascinada pelas palavras e seus ritmos ( — o que atualmente ela faz, mas de um jeito diferente). 

Contudo, fora em um festival de primavera em Seoul que se viu sendo chamada para um teste para ser uma trainee da Terra Entertaiment, ao que seu estilo díspar lhe fazia destacar no meio do grupo de amigos que performavam ao som de algum hit da época, no meio da praça povoada. Jihee, novamente na ânsia de experienciar a vida como lhe era oferecida e se aproveitando da sorte que o destino a presenteou, abraçou a oferta e foi aceita para assinar um contrato aos 21 anos. Não se lembrava de um momento em que pensara sua vida futura como uma celebridade, mas no fim, por quê não?

Por cinco anos Jihee seguiu firme indo para o prédio da agência treinar e ensaiar diariamente, por longas suadas horas. Otimista. Forte. Resiliente. Era essa sua imagem e Jihee fazia questão de mantê-la, como uma proteção, talvez — e seguiria assim até quando não aguentasse mais.

Foi então no rap, na dança e na composição musical que Jihee focou seus anos como trainee, se dedicando em se aperfeiçoar todos os dias com o objetivo de se manter no nível das outras colegas que eram extremamente talentosas e aos olhos da jovem mulher (e alguns netizens), tão superiores a si. Sabia que a maioria delas seguia aquele sonho desde tão pequenas e Jihee se esforçaria ao máximo para fazer jus ao seu lugar como membro daquele grupo, apesar de todas as críticas que recebera, sendo tantas vezes chamada de “sem talento” e “sem sal” por boa parte do público.

Jihee, além de ser a energy pill do grupo, por não parar quieta e sempre manter o sorriso simpático no rosto, também recebe o título de maior girl crush da ADAMO, por se portar e vestir de modo charmoso e carregado de estilo. Está sempre flertando com as outras garotas e com as fãs, se divertindo com as reações que consegue tirar de cada uma delas. Tem certa afeição por skinship e é algo que usa ao seu favor na hora do fanservice, uma de suas especialidades. Fora e dentro do palco se mostra prestativa e atenta às necessidades das outras membros e é encarregada (cargo dado por ela mesma) de animá-las sempre que necessário, tendo como objetivo interno tirar um sorriso das garotas quando possível.

Trívia—

Sol em Libra, ascendente em Gêmeos, lua em Sagitário e vênus & marte em Escorpião.

Flertar é natural para Jihee, não vendo esse fato como algo ruim. Gosta de fazer mulheres se sentirem bem e crê que este é um dos jeitos de expressar sua admiração. E sem negar que as reações a fazem se sentir bem.

Jihee se envolveu com algumas trainees uns anos atrás e acabou ganhando a fama de player quando as duas perceberam que a garota flertava com elas ao mesmo tempo. Na época a treta na agência foi grande e ela foi obrigada a pedir desculpas para as duas.

Adora cerveja e comidas amargas. 

Freestyle dance é uma de suas especialidades e é uma das que ajudam na criação das coreografias pro grupo.

Escreve seus próprios raps.

90% das suas fãs são mulheres e grande parte LGBTQ+.

Past

Hayate was born, as an “accident”, in a poor city. He lived there with his family like 7 years before they moved to another town with a higher standard thanks to reasons he didn’t get to know. However, Hayate was actually a happy child with a loving family, caring for him as if he was everything they had. There he got to know from his father how to defend himself on a basic level, how to treat women/men (since his father was agreeing that it was alright with his curiosity) right.

After Hayate was moving out of his home, he was ignoring them, going away in the night when the were still asleep. He didn’t see a reason to stay with them when he couldn’t give them back the peace he was interrupting between his parents. Often heard them taking about that it would be difficult to get food or water to drink and in the end hearing them scream at each other in despair.

Hayate was travelling in other towns, searching a place where he could live but he never found the right place that was letting him feel save enough, as if he easily home by his parents. At this time he also found his passion for drawing. He observed several people and landscapes and tried hem out to draw them what actually satisfied him even when he needed to practice more. He selled them too to get some food.

The trouble with his first bf

Leo and Hayate met each other the first time when Hayate was currently drawing somewhere, wasing there still inspired by the pure nature and often drawing animals, mostly birds. Leo just watched Hayate for a certain rime and approached him. They got along, slowly having a little friendship. Nothing that big but there was a time where Leo tried to come closer, giving him little gifts like new pencils and/or some sweets. Hayate appreciated what he did for him but he didn’t understand why he was doing this. Never understood it when people gave each other small gifts that could be connected to something big.

This friendship only was lasting 5 months before Leo kissed him. Of course Hayate was confused why he was doing this, feeling weird because he was confused and afraid that he could leave him alone again wen he would stop him. Just letting Leo kiss him, hoping that it ended soon. Hayate told him that he didn’t understand anything of it. Not knowing why he felt like he… felt. Leo only told him something about love and feelings, having a monologue. Since then he believed he was in love with Leo and soon Leo confessed that he loved him too.

Everything was going well. They went on dates and did many things together even when Hayate had his doubts that this was everything he wanted or what Leo wanted. Even when they just were hanging out, Hayate just felt uncomfortable but at the same time he didn’t want to hurt Leo.

And then they had their first time. Hayate being the bottom and of course nervous but Leo was just so gentle and understandable and gave him the time he needed and then there was the final thought he had. He didn’t loved Leo. He just was nervous about such a moment. Nervous what a relationship could give him, what he could experience.

Hayate never told him this, that he never loved him and soon only wasn’t sure if he was liking him. And then it happened. He needed such a feeling again. Hayate was drawing since he felt the feeling that Leo was giving him but after it faded… He couldn’t anymore. His hands didn’t want to draw anymore. Only his head was thinking about to search someone else who could give him the inspiration he needed and finally found a girl. Hayate didn’t remember her name but with the one kiss he felt better, knowing that it was wrong and it made it better.

Leo got to know it but never said anything to it. Hayate needed him and her. Needing Leo for having an emotional help, a safe place. Hayate was trusting him to much. Soon Leo started to change his behaviour while they had sex. Just being moody and didn’t care what Hayate said and wanted. Soon just fucked him when he was in the mood and when Hayate asked him for it, Leo lightly insulted him. 

It ended then how Leo strangled nearly to death while they had sexual contact, screaming at him how he could just cheat on him and other things, cut his body with a knife. Don’t get me wrong. Hayate enjoyed some of it. Thinking that it was a kink of Leo and wanted to try it out but that he was nearly dead was letting him feel like shit and of course Hayate was afraid of him and submitted. Thinking that it was only his fault that Leo turned to this human he was knowing now. Hayate didn’t see the girl anymore and tried to focus only on Leo, neglecting himself and his art. Everything happened when they were in their last year in the highschool.

At one day, Leo was just beating Hayate. Without a reason. Hayate got sick of it. Always trying to swallow down his anger towards him. How could he not? But when he insulted the pictures he had drown for him and the ones Leo always found good, praised him for them, he couldn’t anymore.The last time they had sex, was the last time. Hayate carefully asked if he could ride him, he could, while he had a plan. Having his revenge. The pictures always are the mirror of his own soul. Leo was insulting him indirectly and he hated it. When he had something against him then he should say it directly. Hayate strangled him to death finally. He was shocked that the body was lifeless, not even noticed it that Leo desperately cried for help.But in some way… He was feeling how beautiful a corpse could be for him, tried to cut Leo open to find out how he really looked like. Someone could say that he lost himself in this moment. In the end he found his inspiration. The lost inspiration he was desperately seeking. Hayate was happy, in that he end tried to make him prettier. Covering his disgusting character with this. Just making Leo beautiful and making him pay for his sins. His first sculpture made out of a human.

Now:

Hayate is actually a very lonely person. Everyone that could have been a friend of his just turned away from or just fall for him, not seeing the lie in his words. However, Hayate is mostly focused on his art, work and his privacy, making him a more or less selfish person but still he craves for human interactions…

Hayate is usually rather cold hearted person who only wants to achieve his goals, no matter hat he needs to do. 

When he meets knew people which are in his eyes more or less beautiful, a great piece of art of this world, he will mostly flirt with them to get to know tem easilier. Pretendng to be a rather nice guy and often apoligise. Well, he prefers after all woman when it comes to his charming game because it is easier for him to seduce them mostly and use them for his own desire. Hayate, often flirts with everyone he sees but mostly prefer to play his games with insecure females. Even when he acts totally friendly towards you, he is actually pretty cold hearted when he meets new people that refused to be friendly to him. The flirting just shall be a first try to seduce someone to get what he wanted. To see what kind of person they really are until he judges them. This also included if they want to have sex with them or not and when yes he just wants to analyse them.

At Hayate’s place, many drawings are hanging on the walls. Drawings from himself and other artists, calling it a waist someone else would buy them because of reasons he doesn’t want to know. His drawings are rather colourful, mostly showing a place that seems to exist in his head. Inhuman forms and other creatures are in the pictures mostly too. 

But also he has a secret room that he is locking up. Hiding his sculptures that are made of human like bodies, other bones of animals and other things. He is proud of them but still he fears that people would take them away from him because it is obviously morally questionable.

Triva:

When he uses someone aka. has sex with them or simply get horny for them he mostly feels like as if he gets inspired by this acts. Mostly he hears a melody in his head until he puts this melody into a drawing. It always depends on the person he was getting inspired by. Sometimes when he plays with a male it almost sounds like as if the melody is only one deep sound, like a deep hum.

When Hayate is alone and feeling comfortable enough at his place, he wears often make up while wearing his favourite Kimono. Often having then dark red lips, wearing mascara, dark blue nail polish and eyeshadow.

Hayate is always the one who gives Kimihiro cigarettes and alcohol and other stuff when Kimihiro needs it. Why Hayate does it and buys it with his own money is questionable. On one hand he is grateful to be around him, at least having a bit of a chance to hide from the police when someone discovers his basement with all the corpses in it. On the other hand, Kimihiro is only a stranger to him and never be anything more.

Hayate has several scars on his back. Most of them are little scratch scars from various people. More interesting are three of them that were caused by his first bf Leo. They were caused by a knife that shall lecture him what he shouldn’t do and should do.However, the first one goes from his right shoulder blade down to his waist and was a pretty deep wound, his first one that he got because Leo wanted to prevent certain things. Hayate didn’t know what he meant when he said that to him and left him confused.The second one goes from his left shoulder blade straight to his spine. It was a punishment he got because of defending his art when Leo was insulting it as ‘too ugly to be sold’ or other things that would make Hayate scream back at him. The scars is actually not this big because Hayate apologised fast to scream at him.The last one goes from waist to waist. It’s the last wound before Hayate killed him in despair. He got it in the same night as he was strangling him to death. It the scar that make him often remember what happened to him and how foolish he was to stay by Leo.In the end, it is always painful for him when someone mentions his scars because it makes him remember fastly the pain. The mental and physical pain.

When Hayate wants to stop to see someone who is in love with him and thinks that they are together even when he keeps a big distance between the two of them, he at first say them that he lost the interest in them and when they don’t want to let go of him or tell others that he kind of only used them Hayate threats them. Saying that he would have no problem to kill them and make sculptures out of them

He  has only one rule when it comes to sex. Don’t touch his dick without permission or he will get angry and there is a chance that he will just not be in the mood anymore. Maybe even just don’t wanting to see the other person for a certain time because of this. Wanting to avoid the uncomfortable feeling.

Hayate often dislikes what he creates. No matter if it paintings, sketches or sculptures. Mostly he can get violent when it doesn’t see anything good in it and destroys them to calm down. Often let them burn while he looks at them and feeling worse because of the “disgusting mess” he made. That’s why he only makes around 6 finished paintings/sculptures per year and feels like they are good.

Hayate met many people who had an abusive behaviour towards him and could be the cause of his cold hearted personality. He is an easy target when you know what he likes and dislike about other people and immediately flirt with the ones he finds attractive. A cause could be also that he is a poligamist. Also thanks to the abusive people he got certain scars on his back that could cause a feeling of displeasure when somebody mention this

Hayate rarely injects himself morphine to let him calm down a bit in too stressful situation. He tried many things to do something against it but when he get too stressed/angry because of something he shouldn’t he doesn’t see any other way. However, where he get the morphine is another question.

Tbh, Hayate’s fox form is larger than a normal fox. His furr is mostly white but his paws and legs are completely black. The end of his tail is blood red like his ears and is a bit red around his mouth.